Creepy

Joe's at it again

By bourneenemy - 19/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Pico Rivera

Today, same as recently, there's some guy constantly standing in front of my building waiting for me to come out, just to stare at me and then get mad when I walk to my car, to the store, to the bank, and even followed me into the lobby to see what floor I get off at, like a weirdo. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 81

People will collect literally anything

By freaked out - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 2 655

My guy

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 01:00 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 127

Creepy

By TraumaPhobe - 02/01/2022 16:58

Today, I went out in public for the first time in four months since I was mugged and stabbed. Today, I also found out the guy who did it was out on bail. I discovered this walking across the road from the shopping centre where it happened, and he was crossing the road towards me, smiling the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 79

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 414

What do you want from me?

By charapos - 28/11/2021 08:01

Today, the person who I've asked to back off is still messaging me and making me more stressed out. I'm pretty sure he fancies me, but I'm asexual. This after he already promised to back off multiple times. I think I've got myself a stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 192

Motherly love

By tara, sadly - 22/10/2021 14:00

Today, I overheard my mother saying that if murder were legal, there would be absolutely no chance that I wouldn’t have been killed as a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 72

Spooky Season

By Vladislav - 20/10/2021 11:00

Today, my best friend and I watched the "OK Google" horror short film. It's about a ghost that controls a Google Home device. Right after the short ended, my Google Nest Mini came off the wall and stopped reacting. Neither of us was near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 139

Spooky season

By soccerbuddyz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. Now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 797

You deserved it 3 785

Get a vasectomy, dude

By grace - 05/10/2021 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he hoped I don’t get pregnant because he’d hate to have to dump me to escape fatherhood. Thinking he was making an insensitive joke about my single pregnant sister, I asked how many women he dumped for falling pregnant. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Four." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 180

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 55

Statutory

By I don't care if it was consented or not, I'm gonna whoop the shit out of this child-molesting fuck. - 22/09/2021 23:00

Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 103

To catch a predator

By not to blame - 07/09/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend’s family, whom I’ve known since I was in elementary school, now completely hate and blame me for "ruining their precious baby boy’s life." I'd called the police and reported him after finding out he cheated on me with not one, but several high school girls. We’re in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 184

Stalker panic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2021 08:01 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 103

Namesake

By cjy152 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her newborn son after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 226

You deserved it 3 650

Back to school for the lucky few

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 991

You deserved it 4 330

Considering something?

By Alice - 16/08/2021 18:01

Today, as a single and ready to mingle mother, I was glad to be on a second date. All was going well, we started making out when he pulled away and said, "It's crazy that Casey Anthony got away with what she did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 75

Knock knock

By iHateMyRoommate - 28/07/2021 11:59 - United States - Loveland

Today, I had to tell an adult man that, even though he’s friends with my roommate and the door is unlocked, he should definitely wait until someone answers the door before letting himself in. I almost shot him because he was rooting through my shit looking for his phone he'd "lost". FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 91

Dude…

By Nothanksimdone - 09/07/2021 15:59

Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 73

Those things are creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Akron

Today, I woke up and screamed. My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 063

You deserved it 5 041

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 06:01

Today, my fiancé told me that my dad apologized to him that I hadn’t inherited my mother’s chest size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 99

Are you there?

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 12:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I had an awful dream where my uncle died from a massive heart attack. When I woke up, my brain interpreted the dream as being a real thing that really happened. It wasn't until my uncle called and asked me why everyone thought he was dead that I finally came to my senses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 331

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Bettendorf

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 81

That Netflix show

By Imnotfromhere - 30/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 55

Science has gone too far

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 22:00

Today, I watched our very clever cat turn on our oven with ease. I now fear for my children's lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 112

Spooky

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 20:04

Today. my nana got a text from my dead grandad's phone number. His phone was stolen about 3 weeks before he died, but the shock of suddenly getting a text from him after the funeral gave her a heart attack. The doctor says with her other health issues, she might not make it through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 34

Leave me alone

By rosanne - 08/04/2021 08:00

Today, I learned that me wearing a mask will not stop creepy old men from telling me to smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 94

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 109

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 161

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 49

Nearly

Today, I'm in love with a girl I can't get, I have social anxiety, and I only have a month until I never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 9

Today, I’ve tested positive for Covid-19. Again. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Today, I got to find out via a news article that Tucker Carlson apparently wants to do the Green M&M cartoon from the commercials. I didn't need to know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 6

Today, I realized that there are only two things that make me stay with my current girlfriend: the sex and her Nintendo Switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 93