All the FMLs

By AnonymousAmber - 31/10/2014 23:10 - United States - Yadkinville

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 2 876

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 910

You deserved it 3 343

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 212

You deserved it 6 577

By hardwarekit - 31/10/2014 14:27 - United States - Fairport

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 625

You deserved it 2 933

Detained

By emptypockets - 31/10/2014 13:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 038

You deserved it 6 929

By kimmykins27 - 31/10/2014 12:58 - United States

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 3 075

By noxiffic - 31/10/2014 12:31 - Norway - Sandnes

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 408

You deserved it 3 144

By nopethanks - 31/10/2014 12:05 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 2 775

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 632

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:46 - Australia

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 4 489

By Shutup! - 31/10/2014 10:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 974

You deserved it 2 625

By NoScrubs - 31/10/2014 05:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 474

You deserved it 3 510

By facebookdeception - 31/10/2014 04:25 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 4 512

By anonymous - 31/10/2014 04:24 - United States - Rancho Cordova

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 395

You deserved it 4 150

By taylor w - 31/10/2014 02:32 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 744

You deserved it 3 549

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 22:16 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 656

You deserved it 3 121

By wow - 30/10/2014 22:05 - United States - Turlock

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 618

You deserved it 3 791

By ineedsleep - 30/10/2014 14:15 - Finland - J?rvenp

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 717

You deserved it 2 755

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 420

You deserved it 3 853

By thealaskanyoung - 30/10/2014 03:58 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 400

You deserved it 2 780

thealaskanyoung tells us more.

thealaskanyoung 14

Monday 3 November 2014 7:33

Hey, OP here. Let me get this straight: my mother is not abusive. She just has a sense of humor! The lady who called was just taken aback for a second before my mom clarified. She's just a character, in no way abusive. Y'all are ridiculous.

By OfficeFatty - 30/10/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 775

You deserved it 5 010

By lexigan4 - 29/10/2014 19:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 249

You deserved it 3 748

By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 17:06 - United States

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 692

You deserved it 4 639

By fired tomoz - 29/10/2014 15:46 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 820

You deserved it 3 015

By carless - 29/10/2014 15:24 - United States

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 975

You deserved it 3 396

By NoColor - 29/10/2014 13:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 553

You deserved it 4 306

By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 08:19 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 569

You deserved it 7 350

By shadysheikh - 29/10/2014 04:55 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 731

You deserved it 9 139

Check yourself

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 23:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 3 878

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 21:58 - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 860

You deserved it 2 740

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 26 271

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 307

You deserved it 9 628

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 608

You deserved it 9 346

Today, according to my husband, if I die first he won’t be looking after my son from a previous marriage. Either my sister will have to take him or he’ll go into foster care. He doesn’t want kids of his own, so he’ll be dammed if he has to look after someone else’s just because I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 525

You deserved it 982

Today, I asked my father if I could have my grandfather's old vinyls, record player, and vintage tube radio. He told me he threw those out years ago because, "Who listens to that crap anymore, now that we have mp3s?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 233

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 89