By bruised - 15/08/2015 15:47 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 123
You deserved it 1 957

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Took me longer than it should have to realize the "f" word was "fired".

This is why I don't want a management position later in life.


This is why I don't want a management position later in life.

money or sanity, hmm.. are you even familiar with retail?

Ninjerman 7

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Isn't that like super illegal and considered attempted murder or battery?

Illegal for civilians, but not for cops in the U.S. Though many departments frown on it and don't teach its use.

Good listeners are typically conscious to actually hear what you are saying.

dude, in 20 seconds you can cause serious brain damage or even kill someone. it takes seven seconds for someone in a hold to lose consciousness. do you even know what you're talking about?

you dont hold it for 20 seconds you dingbat

Well, the poster said "in 20 seconds" so what? you stare at him for the remainder hard enough and maybe he'll hold his breath in fear?

dannnngthatsux 19

#52, try again, brain damage takes 3+ minutes of anoxia, 9x more than a 20 second sleeper hold. I've helps my breath for 3 minutes underwater before, 20 seconds? And in cold water anoxia can take up to 13 minutes for permanent brain damage.

"anyone" wtf bro......brutal. op don't take #2's advice

Numero 74, the sleeper hold not only cuts off air, but also the blood rushing to your brain.

Well good thing you fired him... Even though it took much of a struggle...

Took me longer than it should have to realize the "f" word was "fired".

Honestly, I didn't even realize until I read your comment. I thought OP just said "****", but "fired" makes a lot more sense now...

I didn't even know! Wow I totally misread that.

WD_Stevens 22

Wow. It makes a lot more sense now. I was kinda expecting comments decrying the use of swearing in a professional sense.

I spent a relatively long time wondering why the hell OP said "****" while firing someone. Then I felt stupid.

Lol now only I realized thanks to ur comment . I first thought the op deserved it for not handling it in a formal way or sth. Oh well

I read the FML like 6 times wondering why an employer would use the F word, even when firing someone. Then after reading this comment, it all made sense.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

I know you'll get over defensive and bury me, but seriously? You and nearly 500 people who upvoted you? It's called context and basic reading skills, people.

@65 I, along with what I assume is a multitude of others, only up-voted this comment because it was funny not because I made the same mistake.

How did he get the job in the first place?

redmeer 1

usually by lying and submitting false resumes

YOU"RE FIR... Whaaaaaat? I got promoted and got your job awww thank you. Your so kind

That sounds dangerous. I would have called police.

"Help, an employee I'm trying to fire is being snippy!"

as long as the cops don't fire him we are good

No #44, more like he wouldn't leave their property and therefore the police could remove him.

For an incompetent worker he sure gave the three of you a run for your money.

I can just imagine him with his hands over his ears as they drag him out shouting, LALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU IM NOT FIRED LALALALALALALA!!!

And he fortunately got that big promotion with the raise right?