Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible...

By pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u - 16/08/2015 16:18 - United States - Monmouth Junction

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 794

You deserved it 1 885

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Same thing different taste

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 172

You deserved it 8 128

Smell test

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 90

By motherfuck666 - 18/05/2014 21:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 898

You deserved it 5 486

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 476

You deserved it 9 909

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 166

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 683

You deserved it 4 525

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 519

You deserved it 37 932

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 125

You deserved it 7 783

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 931

You deserved it 4 694

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 359

You deserved it 31 736

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

Comments

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

DamnBailie 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:22

or a middle school boys bedroom.

Fml_foreva 9

Monday 17 August 2015 13:39

mostly elementary

Hoopachi 19

Tuesday 18 August 2015 3:35

Since when do elementary school kids use axe?

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:37

Axe is not an alternative to doing laundry!

FiFiLovee 26

Monday 24 August 2015 4:58

Is no one going to comment on OP's username? Lmfaoooo

CliffyB03 28

Monday 17 August 2015 7:04

Any amount of Axe is too much Axe

Birdclawz 17

Monday 17 August 2015 7:07

A little bit goes a long way fellas

beeferjay 34

Wednesday 19 August 2015 0:07

especially when they're in heat...

WellThatWasRude 27

Monday 17 August 2015 7:08

Unfortunately, some guys treat Axe as if it's cologne, when in reality it's FAR from that. Sorry you had to go through that, OP!

lovelockdown23 23

Monday 17 August 2015 8:53

then what is it?

IronMan_Mk43 20

Monday 17 August 2015 11:51

Deodorant (not a very good one though) #28

Skylarconner 14

Monday 17 August 2015 17:21

no, it's a shit in a can

SPN_lover666 27

Monday 17 August 2015 19:05

#28, it is a can of Satan's ball sweat.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 17 August 2015 22:55

Some people treat it like its some kind of miracle shower in a can.

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:40

I blame those ads that make it seem like women will instantly jump on you if you spray that crap on your self.

MandyO 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

If that's the worst part about this blind date, it sounds like a win!

rileyrae0000 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I have a similar experience everyday in one of my classes. I'm not sure exactly who it's coming from but when I do, I'm confiscating his Axe!!!!

corky1992 33

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I love the smell of Axe, but it definitely can be strong and some guys over do it.

MasterTron 24

Monday 17 August 2015 12:10

It's a shower in a can for some guys.

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

balboa_2 24

Monday 17 August 2015 7:15

In our lockeroom that's what most of the guys use

Matheo_fml 21

Monday 17 August 2015 7:20

Axe: boosting self confidence with misleading advertisement since 1990...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 402

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 4 509

Today, I was sitting in math class taking notes on my laptop when my mom texted me, asking why I wasn’t in class. She has my location for security purposes. I’m 19 and in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 137

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 523

You deserved it 3 459

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 281

You deserved it 2 010

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 1 172

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 919

You deserved it 2 347

Same thing different taste

Hey… you

Smell test

Reverse Uno card

NEXT!

Cool moves

Next!

Bat out of hell

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