Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML
The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs
cats1234 tells us more.
cats1234 15
Op here, I do not work at a bank, I work at a bong shop the keeps the money we deposit in the bank in a safe, which only pays a little above minimum wage, they do have cameras but I don't know if the RCMP looked at the footage or not. The RCMP are taking it very seriously and whoever is responsible is going to be charged I just hope they are able to catch the person who really did it. I am certainly not going to replace money I did not take, but more so I would not want the record that goes with it. I don't know if they can charge me without evidence. I didn't know how to respond to some of the things the cop was saying which is what made me nervous (I have pretty bad anxiety). He said I stole the money because I am in a bit of hard times and Easter was coming up and there is no way to track cash, I told him I didn't even buy one piece of chocolate for Easter never mind $1000 worth and the only hard time I'm having is, having my pay withheld because of this situation, which wasn't a good enough answer for the cop. It's hard to prove my innocence because I was the one who found the money missing in the first place, $35 missing from the til and reported it to my manager who said it was probably just a mistake, and to check my coworkers deposit in the safe for the missing money, when I opened it there was only $4.15 when it was supposed to be $350 so I reported that and they came to the conclusion it must be my fault because, their words "I was the last person to see the money" but it was already gone when I got there. Then a week later I did my deposit for the day and put it into the box the next day my coworker said all that was left when she went to the bank was around $10 when it was supposed to be around $400, then my manger decided we take our own deposits home with us and deposit to the bank on our days off which fixed the money going missing problem, but then on Easter Sunday after I closed at around 6:15 and took home my deposit someone went into the store at night and used the alarm code that was just reset a few days before to stop the alarm from going off only me and the other girl know the code, I am pretty sure they didn't take any money that time just broke a bunch of pipes and bongs which is strange. My theory is maybe my coworker didn't know if I would take my deposit home and went to look for it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see!
Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML
Sexy talk
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML
Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor… who is a cop. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML
I'm not, but…
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML
What is wrong with my brain?
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
Compassion
Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral, I was told to "man up". FML
Mixing it up
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
What are you doing?
Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Mumble mumble
Today, I called a doctor's office for a referral. I was in public, so when she asked me what type of issue I had, I mumbled that I had a vaginal issue. After painstakingly having to repeat this several times, she said she was asking what kind of insurance I have. FML
Higher standard
Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Halfway through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML
Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I had to attend a meeting with my parents, my teacher, and my bully and his parents. When we started, my bully "broke down" and "tearfully" told the teacher that I was the one bullying him, and that he was getting blamed to cover it all up. They believed him. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML