By Ladycakes - 04/06/2012 10:13 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 829
You deserved it 6 912

Same thing different taste

Top comments

BubbleGrunge 18

Umm no 20 you have half of that statement wrong. Yes, you are right; no one should use sex as a punishment, but if he cheats that is not her fault. Don't justify cheating as ok, it never is. If you have to cheat then you need to end a relationship.


She knows he isn't faking it. You see, he accidentally died in a tragic accident when he tripped in their messy abode. Driving herself mad thinking it was her fault for not cleaning the house better, her grief-stricken psyche forced her to believe that he was alive, and that she could still prevent such an accident. Deep inside, she knows that it's insane and hopeless, and she let it show in this brief moment of weakness. Yet she cannot stop, nor fully accept his death. She can only clean.

Most likely not 1. Every time my girlfriend goes on about something it's not that hard to just zone out until she's finished.

syley 5

Seeing as it was in bed I wonder if she even checked if he was awake to begin with

Mirequetz 6

I've been there. I work 50 hours a week, he's in school but on summer break at the moment (with no job). I pay for everything and am expected to do all the cooking and cleaning as well while he plays his video games. I guess it's my fault for saying "yes" when he proposed.

asoptavlo14 6

80- That's really depressing.. Maybe you should talk to him about it?

Dinner with the shmucks technique!

SystemofaBlink41 27

80- i agree with 89... Let me just tell you he won't get any better unless you confront him about it... good luck

80 - I say you should consider your options and be prepared to just leave. If you don't have a kid with him, then just tell him a change is necessary or you are leaving. I mean, think about it. You work 50 hours, you pay the bills, and you cook and clean. You can do the same thing without him.

Wow 80 I'm sorry. I mean in the summer time he should help since he is home from school. If you pay for his schooling he should definitely help all year then. Like what the other people are saying, if u do all of that (work 50 hrs a week, clean, and cook) by yourself you can probably literally do it by yourself. Then find someone who treats you better. I know that would probably be the hardest thing to do.

Inheritance 10
Mirequetz 6

Thanks for all of the replies. I didn't expect that. I've talked to him about it in the past, when he was working full time as well, I didn't mind too much because we were splitting the bills and his job was more stressful. I think he got into a bad habit. I had lived by myself for about 5 years prior and when we moved in together he was coming straight from his parents house so he never had to deal with things on his own. I think that should be a prerequisite for moving in together, both parties have to have lived on their own for at least 6-12 months lol.

FML Relationship counseling at it's finest!

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How do you know he doesn't work 14 hours a day to provide money to pay for the home they share, as well as paying all the household bills, taking OP out to dinner, to watch films, buying her presents, etc? Surely keeping a roof over someone's head is treating them well.

lululu333 7

I'm sorry but if he cheats that's her fault, don't use something as important as sex as a punishment or a weapon, is a bitch move and it could backfire.

BubbleGrunge 18

Umm no 20 you have half of that statement wrong. Yes, you are right; no one should use sex as a punishment, but if he cheats that is not her fault. Don't justify cheating as ok, it never is. If you have to cheat then you need to end a relationship.

30 if she doesn't have sex then he's going to cheat. It would be her fault.

lululu333 7

Yes you are right on that, but in MY opinion, I would at least partly blame myself if he finds it somewhere else while I was punishing him for not having it my way, I would feel I was the one who started the problem and that all went downhill after that. Cheating sometimes come from not being satisfy in a relationship, and sex is a big part of that.

Using sexual manipulation is the best way to end any relationship, fast.

Cheating is never excusable. If he's that desperate for sex he can either ********** or break up with her THEN find someone to sleep with. How would you feel if someone cheated on you?

Im Sorry if you are working and paying bills I don't see that as an excuse to not help out. It's not that hard to vacuum when you come home or even loading the dishwasher/washer/dryer. I work between 50-70 hour weeks between two jobs pay rent and buy important things for my house and I still do dishes or even take out trash. There's no excuse for not helping. And about her deserving to be cheated on. That's like saying if she pisses him off she deserved to be slap. No one EVER deserves that ever. If he's that weak that he can't hold out on sex and that much of a douche to just end the relationship he doesn't deserve any one nice ever in his life.

Inheritance 10

He works all day everyday I guarantee. Along with paying bills for the house. But anyone who cheats, especially a guy is an asshole, nuff said.

So if it's a girl, they aren't really an asshole. Just a slight one. Fail logic.

I detest how everyone on this site thinks that something, for example, as simple as complaining about doing all the housework is a reason to end a relationship, or go cheat. Not everyone is in relationships that fragile, some couples are willing to do anything to stay together. As for cheating because of lack of sex, I doubt Ops FIANCÉ would do such a thing. Most likely he would start helping out more, or they would find a way to settle it, without having to frickin break off the engagement.

105 "it's not that hard" have you ever worked full time? is exhausting

I think a punch in the balls can cure his sleepiness.

Punching a man in the balls to wake him up seems a bit much.

It's called a joke, they're used often on this site. Don't take me to seriously.

hwkfan1 10

So are many suggestions on FML, they're called jokes...

SystemofaBlink41 27

Leave the jerk. Housework is no easy feat.

Maybe he's the breadwinner of the house and works an all day shift while OP tends to the housework. It would explain why he's too tired to help out (assuming he's not just a lazy toolbag).

Housework is an incredibly easy 'feat'. You might get tired doing it for several hours, but it isn't difficult to do

Sooouuunndddss good...then u do it..n do it properly..we'll see how easy it is then..

She's 17. Stop hating on her. But house work isn't hard, it's more tedious and boring.

My husband works, I don't, he pays for everything, including my vehicle... I solely clean the house, it's not that hard, yes it's boring, but so what? He works a legitimate paying job, so I take care of the house (that's my job). It sucks OPs boyfriend fell asleep, but in my opinion he has his job, she has hers.. Plus it doesn't take 40 hours a week to keep a house clean.

Shit, I apologize, I read another comment and thought OP didn't have a job. Sorry. Haha.

FreaksandGeeks 5

Housework isn't easy? I'd much rather do housework than work a 40-hour a week job doing anything else. Especially, if it's in my home.

hwkfan1 10

Grab a bullhorn and scream into his face "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW????!!"

What the hell is a bullhorn going to do?

Maybe she should shut up and let the man sleep.

Get some speakers, turn them up REALLY loud and then talk to him with a microphone. See if he can sleep thru that

I know how that goes, and I will say this: it's never gonna change. Either you are someone who takes pride in their home or you aren't. And if you are old enough to live together and he isn't contributing he is clearly in the latter group. Either get used to your new role, or get a new boyfriend.

One does not simply 'get a new boyfriend'... By the way; It's her fiancé.

RedPillSucks 31

Still, her advice is sound. OP has to come to the realization that the person she is choosing to marry may never help with the housework, or be appreciative of her doing it. If she cannot, then she has to decide whether to move on or not. Hopefully they've been together long enough for her to communicate to him her dissatisfaction (without him pretending to sleep).

unknown_user5566 26

I disagree, this is something that can definitely change, and should. OP isn't trying to change his personality, she wants him to change his habits. If he's not willing to clean up a little for someone he is in love with and wants to marry, then there is a serious issue.

Sure he may never change but he deserves a chance. I like letters or emails for this sort of thing. You get to lay out your points uninterrupted and have time to revise. Edit until there is no accusatory language. Just a simple statement of what you would like and why. No ultimatums. Recommend solutions because he's not going to know what precisely you want unless you tell him. If he slags it off, then you need to decide if you can accept it. Look at the balance of the relationship. Does he do things for you? Do you show your appreciation? My mum stayed home for years and kept an immaculate house. I never heard my father thank her for housework nor did I ever hear her thank him for paying the bills. They showed their appreciation by just doing their part so the other could do his/hers.

Sometimes it's just good to say it out loud. Even if no one heard it. If anything it was practice. You'll work something out.

wildsweetchild 19

Agree. That's exactly what I wanted to say!

Strip him naked, tie him to the bed and as he awakes stare at him menecingly holding a pair of scissors while proclaiming the two of you should talk. I promise he will listen to every word you say.

He won't hear a word. He will probably be too busy yelling "YES, YES I WILL. I CAN CHANGE! YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIGHT! PLEASE DON'T CUT MY PENIS OFF, IT'S THE ONLY ONE I HAVE!"

Be more exciting in your emotions and use exciting words.