By Brilee Bruxvoort - 25/12/2020 09:58 - United States - West Des Moines

Revenge

Today, after I divorced my husband because of his extreme alcoholism, he's now sober and got his life together and I see the man I fell madly in love with. Apparently, getting better for revenge meant more than getting better for the marriage. FML
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By  Blimix  |  5

Substance addiction is usually a symptom of being trapped in an unhappy life. He did not clean himself up to spite you. He was able to quit because he was no longer subject to whatever was making him miserable, and so didn't need the alcohol to self-medicate any more. It may have been your treatment of him, or him having unrealistic expectations that you couldn't meet, or him just not being cut out for marriage: Maybe you two can figure that out together later, or maybe not, but in any case, you're unlikely to win him back. Holding on to hope will only hurt you more. Do your best to soothe and distract yourself until loving someone else starts to feel possible. Do things that interest you. Good luck.

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  Grizz8831  |  13

in a weird way it's quite possible. putting up with it, could have felt like it wasn't that bad and he didnt need help. and the divorce pushed him to a point where he had nothing. and rock bottom meant having to clean himself up. people can blame their partner for substance abuse... but a grown ass adult can choose to leave or talk it out instead of becoming drunks. it's a sickness, but in too many cases, starts with people's inability to admit to an issue and letting it fester and turn to something worse.

My ex decided $80 for an anger management course to help manage his anger was too expensive. His grandma paid for his divorce lawyer so even the divorce was too expensive for him. Everything happens for a reason.