Work: Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees...

By mcmanager - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39672

You deserved it

3593

Favorite

Work

Vulture

This Charming Man

Fucking Facebook memories

By "axon Impulse"

Today, a reliable source informed me that my suspicions that I would soon be fired were wrong! Instead, my boss plans to make my life miserable until I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3444

You deserved it

222

Favorite

By ohshootgirl - United States

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11956

You deserved it

28028

Favorite

By shameonme - United States - Nampa

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12786

You deserved it

17217

Favorite

By Sean - Canada

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34555

You deserved it

4712

Favorite

By sauve dino. - France - Groslay

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18331

You deserved it

4346

Favorite

By Santa - United States - Cocoa

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33481

You deserved it

13368

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Chestnut Hill

Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34009

You deserved it

2234

Favorite

By Scarred for life - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11697

You deserved it

1317

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54050

You deserved it

30261

Favorite

By nano123

Played yourself

Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1488

You deserved it

508

Favorite

By Childhood - United States

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31302

You deserved it

2740

Favorite

By CARnage - Australia

Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11340

You deserved it

23605

Favorite

By Li - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28874

You deserved it

15283

Favorite

By Dulok Warrior Princess - United States - New York

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

3346

You deserved it

711

Favorite

By Depressed and clueless - United States - Manhattan

Today, after months of being told I'm just being paranoid, my hallmates admitted and proved that there really is a dorm-wide conspiracy to socially isolate me. I don’t know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3462

You deserved it

186

Favorite

By Anonymous - Israel

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43805

You deserved it

6269

Favorite

I'm in a hurry

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2449

You deserved it

125

Favorite

By Taylor - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56201

You deserved it

8152

Favorite

By khannnn - United States

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16017

You deserved it

7409

Favorite

By - 4/4/2021 07:59

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Today, I found out that they won't hold my stimulus for child support, only to find out that they withheld it to give it to me when I file my taxes. Which child support will take. FML

I agree, your life sucks

401

You deserved it

1102

Favorite

By poked - United States

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63805

You deserved it

4125

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/7/2020 23:01

Unwanted

Today, I found out that I was not invited to my grandma's 80th surprise birthday party. I found out about it from my mom who lives out of state. I’m the only immediate family that would've been able to come. Due to coronavirus, I also missed my grandpa's 80th birthday. Guess I’m 2/2 this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1236

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31242

You deserved it

6819

Favorite

By kaz89 - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26514

You deserved it

8222

Favorite

By Anonymous

"Shit ticket for one"

Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2963

You deserved it

245

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42032

You deserved it

5158

Favorite

By RightInTheFace - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23466

You deserved it

1870

Favorite

By livay315 - United States

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

74781

You deserved it

4102

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 17:02 - Canada - Waterloo

The more the merrier

Today, I apparently I created a group chat with the four guys I saw any potential with, ruining every single one of the possible future relationships all at once because they now know about each other. I give up on dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

168

You deserved it

1604

Favorite

By ouch

Today, me and my hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. He’s always wanted to eat food off my body but never wanted to deal with the mess. He got a little too excited and ended up biting my nipple instead of the spaghetti. I didn’t know someone was capable of biting that hard on soft food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1966

You deserved it

608

Favorite

By HiImAlfredo - United States - Hampton

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45961

You deserved it

7371

Favorite

By Belle - United States - Berwyn

Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because tonight I'll be the lead at the opening show of my school musical. This is a dream come true. Too bad I just got bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20066

You deserved it

1357

Favorite

By Celeste - Singapore

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35532

You deserved it

3238

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46266

You deserved it

3046

Favorite

By creepyyy - United States

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52321

You deserved it

9911

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after playing on the same basketball team for eight years with the same coach, he kicked me off the team to make room for my younger brother, who I taught to play basketball in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33637

You deserved it

4249

Favorite

By Ditzyfitzy

Today, after spending 2 years saving for my flights, I was denied boarding due to issues with my passport. I heading straight to the embassy only to be told a replacement will take 8 days. The airline will only hold my place for 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2560

You deserved it

357

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/3/2021 20:01

Evil always wins

Today, I was in the Walmart parking lot listening to some music in my car and some lady comes up to me and say, “Boy, the music you listen to is so unholy, I think you need some Jesus in your life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

766

You deserved it

276

Favorite

By mylifeblows - United States

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32952

You deserved it

8463

Favorite

By Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his cell, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me "he was so sad that we broke up." I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36496

You deserved it

2474

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Hunthas | 17

#6034198 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:08

I think I would rather have bugs in my food than raisins :D

By Marie54321 | 19

#6034204 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:09

Raisins in cookies are the reasons why I have trust issues

COMMENTS

By Hunthas | 17

#6034198 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:08

I think I would rather have bugs in my food than raisins :D

orphanclubber | 8

#6034215 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:18

You don't just let it slide if someone Is attractive I hope you are joking

PsychoOtaku | 7

#6034219 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:20

I actually love oatmeal raisin cookies, but they are no match for chocolate chip.

King_Nero | 15

#6034220 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:21

14- I really hope you're joking... Looks do not excuse being stupid or a bad employee.

pjsr | 32

#6034244 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:36

Even if it was a joke, it wasn't funny

zarosian | 17

#6034280 - Monday 11 August 2014 20:11

Lmfao this is the type of person that votes for a person if they are attractive or not.

By MaddyLannister | 8

#6034199 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:08

aham, you just spotted an alien.

1dvs_bstd | 41

#6034235 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:28

what?

mallu86 | 9

#6034256 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:52

Ok, man in black.

I_cant_think | 10

#6034456 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 0:12

Who's ham?

By soulreaper12296 | 28

#6034201 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:09

Wouldn't blame him. I hate raisins in cookies. Although I probably wouldn't be calling them "bugs".

By ladoom | 23

#6034202 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:09

He wanted raisins.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6034949 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 8:46

He was probably after a raise-in.

By Demonface54 | 20

#6034203 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:09

Raisin cookies taste awful anyway

By Marie54321 | 19

#6034204 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:09

Raisins in cookies are the reasons why I have trust issues

AnyaS | 19

#6034329 - Monday 11 August 2014 21:59

That would be awesome on a button or a shirt.

Cas88 | 8

#6034621 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 2:47

You're so clever using a quote probably read from a meme off Memedroid...

paigexox0 | 37

#6034674 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 3:46

Its straight from tumblr haha

shay_serendipity | 29

#6034712 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 4:26

While your comment is funny and relevant, no points for lack of originality. Honestly though, I've seen that on Tumblr at least a million times :/

Marie54321 | 19

#6034804 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 5:20

Good for you #78 and #80, you figured out the internet

By vikky538 | 28

#6034205 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:10

wow.. you have got great employees working for you..

vikky538 | 28

#6034742 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 4:34

lol i totally forget that...

By Zanelle | 2

#6034206 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:10

gracehi | 31

#6034255 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:48

What a creative, interesting, and well thought out comment.

rosheno | 4

#6034299 - Monday 11 August 2014 20:43

41, the irony in that comment isn't going unnoticed.

By Pleonasm | 34

#6034207 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:10

The employee shouldn't need an excuse for riding the world of the atrocity that is raisin cookies. Fuck raisins.

Pleonasm | 34

#6034243 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:34

ridding*

Shit.

asnakelovinbabe | 16

#6034337 - Monday 11 August 2014 22:06

Am I the only one who freaking LOVES oatmeal raising cookies...?

Xquisite1 | 28

#6034638 - Tuesday 12 August 2014 3:01

#66 Well once oatmeal is done "raising" cookies, I hope oatmeal can afford to send them to college.

By silveronica5 | 12

#6034208 - Monday 11 August 2014 19:12

It might've been a joke? I'm not sure but I'm hoping it was