Top

Hey All. I did immediately go wash up once I confirmed that he was okay, he thought I was going to kick him out for moshing, I don't think he realized quite yet that his nose was broken, he was pretty drunk. And I am a chick, not a dude :) I get tested regularly anyway, but he and I did have a conversation after he went and cleaned himself up too. I explained that I was worried about disease and he looked positively horrified at the thought and insisted that he was clean. But I did get checked, came back all good. And I love my job, it's only part time, I only work the big shows, been doing it for a while and this is the only time this has ever happened to me. It didn't scare me off like my boss thought it would when he saw me marching off in a huff to the ladies room to clean myself up! lol

Sneaky

By crazy_bitch122 - 29/06/2011 05:13 - United States

Today, while we were making love, he farted, then blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

agreeclassic 41 651

vote type 1 6 308

By LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

agreeclassic 41 645

vote type 1 11 658

By lord kuntface - 22/08/2013 21:33 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

agreeclassic 41 641

vote type 1 3 548

By yeah hun i think insects arent animals too - 09/10/2013 07:51 - Germany - Leipzig

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

agreeclassic 41 633

vote type 1 23 881

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

agreeclassic 41 632

vote type 1 15 247

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

agreeclassic 41 631

vote type 1 12 949

By whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

agreeclassic 41 629

vote type 1 7 460

Rude awakening

By blackcat37 - 28/09/2013 10:53 - United States - Independence

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

agreeclassic 41 629

vote type 1 4 926

By megs2129 - 16/09/2009 21:28 - United States

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

agreeclassic 41 627

vote type 1 4 662

megs2129 app_comment_confession_title

megs2129 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:27

It was an expreimental treatment for Endometriosis. And it wasn't only the taste that was bad, it was how it made me feel. There were multiple portions of it, and some sizzled as they went down and stuff like that. The one that made me throw up made me feel like time stopped. I can't explain it, but it was like nothing was right. And it tasted horrible

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

agreeclassic 41 625

vote type 1 3 592

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

agreeclassic 41 624

vote type 1 8 465

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

agreeclassic 41 619

vote type 1 4 881

By Anonymous - 03/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML

agreeclassic 41 611

vote type 1 4 679

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 05:23 - France

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

agreeclassic 41 611

vote type 1 6 381

By Greg - 11/02/2013 04:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

agreeclassic 41 610

vote type 1 2 555

By mk - 14/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

agreeclassic 41 610

vote type 1 5 722

Jam it in my ears

By missmom83 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Torrington

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from third grade and figured out how to play the highest-pitched note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of Ibuprofen. FML

agreeclassic 41 609

vote type 1 5 674

By sober judge - 03/10/2013 03:46 - United States - Enfield

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

agreeclassic 41 606

vote type 1 7 870

You can't say anything these days

By Ashley Marshburn - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter walked into my home office and said, "Fuck you!" Then she ran to my husband and said, "Did I say it right?" FML

agreeclassic 41 605

vote type 1 5 383

By saraitkddh - 24/09/2013 17:51 - Lebanon

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

agreeclassic 41 604

vote type 1 3 350

saraitkddh app_comment_confession_title

saraitkddh 47

Wednesday 25 September 2013 20:02

Thanks everyone for your support :) To make things clear, I am gonna answer some of your questions. First, I am the youngest child and the only daughter of her first child. Second, she has 22 grandchildren and I visit her regularly. Third, she has more than one picture of me but she just put them inside the drawer. she always ask my cousins for pictures of them, and my mom once offered her to give her new pictures of me but she ignored her. She even has pictures of her immigrant grandchildren whom she never met before or know how to speak their language. And no, I am not adopted, I am old enough to know that. I just don't know why she is always cold and mean to me.