Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
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Top comments
Philintheblankz 14
If your friends are out getting drunk practically every night then I would say your gonna be much better off than them.
PandaBurst 10
Good on you for deciding to be one of our sexy men/women in uniform. It'll pay off. Plus, you'll get more franks bought for you in the future when you're wearing your uniform. ;-)
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Comments (86)
RodzillaX 30
Just keep from answering when you believe they're drunk pal. Best of luck to ya.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well you'll be a lot better off after it's all said and done. And don't let it get ya down. They may be drunk and all all the time but at least you'll come out with a good education and if I think how you put it right a career you can be proud of in twenty years. With full benifits most likely while they are still working. You'll be able to see the world and call them at night and tell them what you are drinking and where. Good luck and the best to you and your career.
icyhottt 11
In a few months you will be calling them from some country around the world telling them about how much of a great time you are having don't worry about it.
PandaBurst 10
Good on you for deciding to be one of our sexy men/women in uniform. It'll pay off. Plus, you'll get more franks bought for you in the future when you're wearing your uniform. ;-)
ellenjasmin 18
They're shit friends
RodzillaX 30
That's a pretty broad assumption. One never really knows for sure how their relationship is.
Kibaruto 33
If my drunk friends called me practically every night, I'd be pretty pissed.
_parth 20
Or bestfriends....
Chris93Jones 20
there's two ways to see this, 1, they're teasing, or 2 they are thinking about you when they can barely think.
Philintheblankz 14
If your friends are out getting drunk practically every night then I would say your gonna be much better off than them.
wallandpiece 16
But getting drunk is fun.. Much more fun than a military academy.
schadenfreud 6
in ten years time youll be able to call them and ask if they stock a certain product at their walmart outlet. your current misery is worth your future success op
youdontknowwho 19
Well, they miss you and they want you to be with them. Keep that in mind :)
_parth 20
Exactly. Only best friends do this kind of stuff...
SweetasCandy0609 28
Well why they are at home getting drunk you are doing something with your life and that's something to be proud of.
thatnucca 36
It will all get old pretty soon...
soulebelius 17
Stop whining. This should be a career move you wanted to make. If this is really what you wanted, their actions wouldn't affect you. You don't sound like you're ready.
RodzillaX 30
Just because you've wanted to make such a career move, doesn't make it any more enjoyable. It's not an easy thing to do.
mackdeezy 22
10 You are over assuming. Or you read it wrong, he's not complaining that hes not allowed to drink, he's showing irritation that his friends know better but continue to call him and taunt him with the fact that they are drinking and he cant. Frankly he's annoyed, not complaining. Move along now.
RodzillaX 30
I see no such 21. Move*
mackdeezy 22
I edited my comment when I realized my mistakes.
RodzillaX 30
Disregard my last.
Wakachulak 22
That's some friends you got there OP