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OP: Um, sir, it isn't a pr-- *phrrrrrrrRRRRRRp!* -ank, um, I actu--- *PraaaaaaaaaAAAAAAph* *shittle* *shart* --a condi-- *toot* Boss: You think you're funny, huh?!? I'm sick of your shit, you're fired. OP: But sir I-- *BrAAAAAAPPPPPphhhhizzzzz* Boss: GET OUT! I'm dying in here! Maybe you should get a job at prank shop, OP. You could use it to your advantage!

I'm sorry OP, that's embarrassing. Try talking it out.

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I'm sorry OP, that's embarrassing. Try talking it out.

I've always found that the best way to handle an embarrassing situation like this is to explain it maturely, then make a joke out of it. If you can't laugh at yourself it makes it much more awkward for everyone else.

Yeah, at least let them know you have a condition. Or go to your doctor for help.

How embarrassing! Hopefully you'll get some medication maybe?

If OP has a condition that does this, I can't imagine what laxatives would do to them.

Shit Op talk to your boss and let him know it's you doing the crop dusting in the office. Be proud of your smelf... Na but really you should get that shit checked.

You don't usually use laxatives to relieve gas. There's several OTC meds that will do the trick; Gas-x, Mylanta, Pepto-Bismal, Flatulex, Di-gel, and Phazyme are just a few of the most common ones.

Or you could wear deodorized undies like they sell for dogs. It wont mask the sound, but at least your farts will smell like lilacs or irish spring or some such BS.

Yeah, not sure why I said laxatives. I guess I rushed head over heels for that third comment.

Gas-X does not make you stop passing gas, no matter what anyone may think. It makes you fart more and usually causes it to smell much, much, worse then it did before you took it. All it seems to do is make you pass gas quicker, I think in hopes that you'll get it all out of your system quicker. If you have a condition this wouldn't work because I imagine the condition causes greater amounts of gas to be produced, otherwise there wouldn't be more farting than normal.

Just tell him in a professional manner, I'm sure he'll likely feel embarrassed about calling you out and would apologize.

OP: Um, sir, it isn't a pr-- *phrrrrrrrRRRRRRp!* -ank, um, I actu--- *PraaaaaaaaaAAAAAAph* *shittle* *shart* --a condi-- *toot* Boss: You think you're funny, huh?!? I'm sick of your shit, you're fired. OP: But sir I-- *BrAAAAAAPPPPPphhhhizzzzz* Boss: GET OUT! I'm dying in here! Maybe you should get a job at prank shop, OP. You could use it to your advantage!

Heh, thumbs up for using shittle and toot. Something about those words seems to embody humor.

TOO. LONG. TO .BE .FUNNY.

I actually found it hilarious.

I don't really give a shit how many people disliked it. As long as I made someone laugh, I'm satisfied. My comments are usually hit or miss, anyway.

23 - If you don't like it, just thumb it down. There is no point in saying so.

That was very funny!

Lol the "toot" was my favorite part. I could envision it.

That was hilarious!!! thank you for taking the time to write that all out!!! I think two drop of pee came out I was laughing so hard!!!

This made me laugh so hard!

Atleast from now on you have an excuse.

So this is what you do instead just because there's a sign prohibiting masturbating at your desk?!

I'm not going to say anything. Just get thumbed down like the immature adult you are.

Believe it or not #24, this is a reference to another FML fmylife.com/intimacy/20043181

24- You realize that leaving a comment stating "I'm not going to say anything" is completely pointless, right?

@43 It's called an apophosis and you're right, in this case it is completely pointless. Also it should be noted tha.... SQUIRREL!!

I'd like to know what condition OP has... Friday is chili night and I need an excuse for Saturday.

Maybe Crohns disease

It's not Crohn's disease, I was diagnosed with it almost 5 years ago. Although every 'Crohnnie' has differing symptoms, I haven't actually heard of excessive gas as a symptom. But, of course, there probably are some Chronnies who do experience that. It's just not very common.

I have Crohn's Disease and know that everyone's symptoms are different, just like the Disease itself can be very different in each person. For me, personally, gas isn't a big issue. However, if i'm having a rough time lately, I feel bad for whoever's around me lol

Just explain the situation. I'm sorry you have to live with that. Maybe a doctor can prescribe some medication to help

Sounds like you're in-between a rock and a hard place. You could tell your boss it isn't a machine but he might not believe you. Good luck OP! Hopefully your boss is an understanding man/woman.

Get a Drs note OP because he probably won't believe you.

Damn Op that stinks

"No pun intended"?