Jam it in my ears

By missmom83 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Torrington

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from third grade and figured out how to play the highest-pitched note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of Ibuprofen. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 558
You deserved it 5 650

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I'll get my trumpet, my brother knows the sax! lets get vocals in on this and get a band going!

Is mayonnaise an instrument? I'll bring some.


It sounds like you're not doing to well

Really? How did you come up with with that conclusion?

incoherentrmblr 21

I guess your kids are all of out of f**ks to give as well...

OH NO I FAILED!!!! I was trying to make a pun with the word "sounds" and I fucked up. I'm sorry...

gingaa96 18

Try OxyContin.. That's pretty powerful

Or try and get them to go and play with instruments outside in garden or in garage.

Realism 4

Not very helpful advice, I eventually became reliant on several variants of Oxy including OxyContin so no please do not try it

I'll get my trumpet, my brother knows the sax! lets get vocals in on this and get a band going!

Is mayonnaise an instrument? I'll bring some.

I'll be the bassist although I've never touched that instrument before. but based on OP's description, my skill level seems fitting enough.

What about horseradish?

Attacksloth 33

Good that we have a mayonnaise player onboard... was afraid we wouldn't find one in time.

I have a clarinet somewhere around here lol, I doubt you need it though with all the woodwind instruments there already

I'll be the groupie

No worries 28, I've been playing the mayonnaise professionally for 14 years. Im quite the player.

Excellent. Now that were have enough players in our bandit, we must conquer the world... I've also heard that maiyonaise is an exquisite choice of weaponry.

Can you guys play for my daughter's birthday party? When you do the birthday song include the "mayo wishes come true" verse. That should be a sick solo for your mayonnaise player.

ElementaryEdGuy 18

Too lazy to read this, but I'll play clarinet if needed!

braidedsilver 8

I play flute and piano, we can put my toddler on the piano to accompany hers.

The name of your band should be Chinaferarrisexorgydeathcrash

#58 *ChinaferarriSAXorgydeathcrash

maggiefox 25

I play clarinet! Let's get some more woodwinds in on this!

Can't wait your your next show

Im a good vocalist if you ever need a lead singer also every good band has atleast 2 tromboners

incoherentrmblr 21

Add Epic Sax Guy & Ron Burgundy to it and it'll be a good smooth jazz session...

Hold on, I'll get my electric triangle!

whatsername3114 11

I play the trombone too! you can never have enough horns!!! Any Tuba?

I've got my air guitar, i'm in!

Man that quote was from ages ago

tiptoppc 16

I’ll bring my washboard. Been needing to do laundry anyways and might as well kill two birds with one stone.

thatgirlc 10

shoulda had it put up

Attacksloth 33

Try duct tape and night time cough syrup... for the kid, of course.

Time to get that flute out!

sounds like you're annoyed by your kids

Are you sure? I thought she sounded really happy? :p

This is the type of situation top shelves were invented for.

BradTheBrony 19

It wasn't the OP's recorder, it was her daughter's. Wherever it was was probably where the daughter put it.

Trombone is cool though

Gotta suck being a parent when you can't even handle a little noise.

I'm pretty sure that a trombone and a recorder played on its highest note make more than "a little" noise.