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This is my post. I agree with most of you. Total dumbass thing. I admit it. It didn't ruin my computer, just made my keys sticky for awhile and there are permanent smear marks on my screen. I did turn my head, ended up sneezing into my arm but it splashed down onto my computer. There just wasn't enough space to explain it. I decided to pay it before i spit cause i was trying to save time and only had to press a couple of buttons. Made sense at the time. Seemed like a waste to just stand there for 30 seconds and do nothing. Lesson learned. I had to pay it before I left for work because it was due that day by 3 and by the time i got home it would have been too late. Carry on the mocking :)

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 06:01

Today I found out my ex-girlfriend from college, who had to leave because her visa expired after we dated for a year and a half, actually came back to the States two years later to get her PHD and didn't tell me. We had parted on good terms and were good friends to each other. I've given up on dating altogether. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 180

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 16:00

Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 133

Small talk

By livvlynette - 27/02/2010 10:15 - Australia

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 151

You deserved it 4 278

Deception

By that'sokay - 12/05/2020 23:00

Today, I found out the guy I have been sleeping with didn't actually break up with his girlfriend. She just moved for a few weeks during quarantine. They are now living with each other, and I'm alone and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 506

Internet doctor

By ThatYourDoctor - 25/08/2021 00:01

Today, a patient came to the ER at 4 a.m., but left complaining I wasn't treating him properly. I treated his toothache with painkillers that would get him through the night so he could contact a dentist the next day. He showed me a TikTok video of the tooth surgery that he supposedly needed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 74

First impressions

By wiseoldone - 03/02/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I'm going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out. I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 093

You deserved it 8 233

Tricky situation

By Anonymous - 14/05/2020 05:00

Today, my roommate in our barracks posted trans hate-speech on Facebook. My choices are to report him and risk ending his military career, confront him and risk him finding out I'm trans, or do nothing and live in fear of him figuring me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 579

Proselytizing

By Jax - 17/11/2022 18:00

Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 222

By elphi - 15/12/2012 06:11 - United States - Savanna

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 3 225

elphi_fml tells us more.

elphi_fml 4

Sunday 16 December 2012 1:47

OP here! #35, etc. No second date. And...I can't discuss a ongoing investigation. #2 He tried to feel me up and I walked out.I was so scared I left my purse behind. #14 He's on security camera. #4 My limit's about 700 less than he wanted, and he didn't get any of it. #8 Card was instantly cancelled.He put it back. Haven't seen him since. At least the dinner was good.

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 731

You deserved it 26 873