Porn

Creepypasta time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today some young teenager nervously approached me, saying he’d done a drawing of me, and that I could have it if I wanted, then he ran off blushing. I thought it was cute until I saw the picture. It was me and him in extraordinary detail, having anal sex, with a dildo up my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 98

How did I get here?

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 20:00

Today, I auditioned for and got a part in a small independent film based on the Count of Monte Cristo. I knew ahead of time it was a low budget remake, but I was surprised to be warned there would be a few soft sex scenes. When I got there, it was blatantly a gay porn movie set in an old dungeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 115

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Spicy

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 72

Hot or not

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 04:00

Today, my friend sent me a weird selfie in black and white. I sent one back, and she said I looked like an 80s porn star. It was funny, but then three of my friends had the same reaction. I didn't even look good in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 143

Kinda sussy

By Rosebud - 07/08/2023 04:00 - United States - Flint

Spicy

Today, I “caught” my partner looking at porn, again. I walked in on him with his cock out, looking at his phone. He jumped to put it away, except just like last time, I told him we could watch together, but he's “too ashamed” to even discuss it. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s just sexting someone else and doesn’t want to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 149

Alexa, play "Orgasm Addict" by Buzzcoks

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 04:00 - United States - Monroe

Spicy

Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 382

Not literally, surely?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my dad came across my nudes that got leaked online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 781

Busting makes me feel good

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband suggested we start making pornos online to make ends meet. I told him, “You bust so quickly, it’ll have to be a TikTok.” He’s been pouting all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 419

NSFW FML

By Anonymous - 25/01/2023 10:30

Spicy

Today, I signed in to my personal Google account on my work laptop. Unbeknownst to me, the browsing history and favourites from my personal computer synched, causing my kinky Pornhub history to show up, all while I was screen-sharing to my boss and prospective clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 1 660

ADHD brain

By Giggity - 04/12/2022 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 064

Screen time

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 14:00

Spicy

Today, we had a power surge. I don’t know how, but the living room TV blew up and burned the image into the LCD so that even though the telly is dead, you can still see a freeze frame of the last thing I was watching. It was a porno, and you can see absolutely everything. My dad is going to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 884

NSFW

By Pornstartled - 03/11/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Zutphen

Spicy

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 315

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Spicy

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 285

Not like that!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 18:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the universe smiled upon me and my longtime fantasy of seeing someone I know appear in an adult film finally came true. However, as a straight guy, I should have been more specific: I was hoping to see a woman I know appear in an adult film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 1 151

Getting on

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, I had to put my glasses on just to scroll Pornhub. I'm officially old and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 280

Alexa, play "Grounds for Divorce" by Elbow

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I discovered a bunch of porn on my husband's laptop, cartoon stuff with rabbit girls and monsters with octopus tentacles, I felt physically sick and I don’t think I can stomach being married to him anymore. It was disgusting FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 2 726

Nice try, kiddo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 228

Rabbit hole

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 17:00 - United States - Big Lake

Spicy

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 274

My eyes!

By ConcerneddSapphic - 21/05/2022 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Spicy

Today, my 73 year-old grandfather asked me to help him search up something on his PC. As soon as I typed in the first letters, one of his previous searches popped up, that being, "Lesbian porn." I still feel not so great about seeing that, and the fact that I myself am a lesbian and he knows that isn't helping much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 314

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 251

It was for research purposes

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was at work and was in a conversation with some colleagues. I go to check my phone and accidentally clicked on the Safari app. Safari still had PornHub pulled up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 1 359

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Granby

Spicy

Today, I feel guilty masturbating to Russian porn on the hub. Then I feel even more guilty because that's just wrong, because people in Ukraine and Russia both have much bigger problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 112

Dear PornHub…

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 236

Never check the history

By mszoe - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 3 719

Found one!

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, after many years of denial and avoidance, I've come to accept the fact that I'm one of those people who are turned on by furry adult art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 953

Punished

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 324

You deserved it 23 010

Dear Prudish

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 01:59

Spicy

Today, I got a job with a filmmaking company, turned up on my first day, and now I know why I'd never heard of the company before. Porn. They were making porn, all kinds of disgusting porn. I quit so fast I was barely even there. This was the only job offer I’ve had since graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 9 005

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Victoria

Spicy

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 814

You deserved it 14 401

Coworker from hell

By stupid! - 02/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 93

Horno

By horno - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I asked my dad why the WiFi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 2 624

Keywords

Work Medication Interview Health Embarrassing Proposal Awkward Love Weddings Housework Technology College Life Sex Smells Food Thief Cooking Intimacy Wanker Relatable Kids Parenting Cheating Transportation Accident Cars Money Scams Friends Jealousy

The Top

Aujourd'hui, alors que je secouais mon sac par le balcon, ce qui devait arriver, arriva : un truc coincé dans le tissu du sac tombe par dessus le balcon et se coince, à cause du crépi, pile-poil entre les 2 fenêtres de mon voisin du dessous. Le truc en question : mon string de la veille. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 30 336

You deserved it 10 232

Aujourd'hui, ma copine et moi faisons l'amour. Je l'entends pousser des petits cris. Fier de moi, je continue. À un moment, elle me dit : "Attends !" Elle se lève un peu et enlève la télécommande de ma télé de sous son dos. Après, silence total. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 50 454

You deserved it 5 968

The Top

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 763

You deserved it 6 685

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 709

You deserved it 385

Today, my 16 year-old nephew gave me advice on how to get laid. At age 30, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 303

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 24 821

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 677

You deserved it 45 171