By Anonymous - 14/5/2020 05:00

Tricky situation

Today, my roommate in our barracks posted trans hate-speech on Facebook. My choices are to report him and risk ending his military career, confront him and risk him finding out I'm trans, or do nothing and live in fear of him figuring me out. FML

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1960

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Crowded House

Compassion

Vultures

By me - 20/11/2013 15:28 - United States - Bronx

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

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30419

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4434

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By HistoryFreak - 1/2/2013 09:19 - France

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

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38382

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By live2dance4ever - 6/7/2019 14:00

Today, I went to attend my summer school class again after being out sick for a week. When I said "Here" during roll call, everyone started cheering and clapping. Apparently, my professor has been badmouthing me while I've been absent for pretending to be sick. I'm sure my grade will be fantastic. FML

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1578

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166

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By student414 - 10/1/2012 17:15 - Canada

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

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21108

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30430

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By SherryBaby - 29/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

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13801

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By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 9/5/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

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1460

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288

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By Eli - 20/9/2011 00:21 - Canada

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34389

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3214

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

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54206

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5193

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By Tempted to hide a fish under the floor - 22/9/2018 05:30 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I marked 3 weeks since meeting my crazy new landlady. Apparently I can't use the dishwasher because "there's no soap", can't bring the trash cans into the garage to keep the bears from getting it, and have to sweep before the cleaning service comes because "it's not their job". FML

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2647

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200

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By julieseattle - 28/10/2019 18:00

Hyperviolence

Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML

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1240

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292

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By pukishgirl - 18/11/2010 12:12 - India

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33232

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2870

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By dumped - 26/7/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36464

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5576

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By conley19 - 15/9/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

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35110

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By Mortified - 22/7/2009 09:48 - Australia

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

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51899

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By finallyready - 8/1/2013 19:56 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

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61928

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By Anonymous - 7/7/2015 02:21 - United States

Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

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26933

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

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9462

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24134

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By Anonymous - 4/6/2012 18:21 - United States - Hollandale

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

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43255

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By shaggy - 30/8/2009 21:26 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

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60768

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4848

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By but why - 21/8/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

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2436

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341

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By Anonymous - 9/2/2013 01:53 - Australia - Rowville

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

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31339

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3000

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By Shell - 5/3/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

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56191

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By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 16:23 - United States

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

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28338

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2498

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By BirthdayBoy - 25/9/2009 14:54 - United States

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

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39804

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By youshitme - 25/11/2009 14:45 - Australia

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

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36168

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7790

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By GGimabeast - 29/7/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

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34139

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By CoffeeBoy - 6/11/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to meet a potential client at StarBucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other StarBucks. FML

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32935

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6429

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By wtf - 1/7/2017 16:00

Today, I got yelled at multiple times by my boss because my boyfriend didn't show up to work. FML

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4688

You deserved it

405

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By friend - 29/6/2012 20:48 - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

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26573

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3657

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By Anonymous - 9/6/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

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15440

You deserved it

50810

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By makin bacon - 8/11/2019 20:00

Bad smell

Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death! FML

I agree, your life sucks

2003

You deserved it

388

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2014 21:02 - United Kingdom - Broxburn

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

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44874

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3582

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By Zit-Blues - 4/1/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

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26971

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8016

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2013 07:50 - Australia - Sydney

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49810

You deserved it

3576

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By Karl - 21/2/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34596

You deserved it

5932

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By Chaznuts - 8/9/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42399

You deserved it

5184

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By bummed - 14/4/2014 01:57

Today, my family and I went on a hike to a local abandoned gold mine, with the hopes of being able to explore the caves. What we didn't expect was four miles of treacherous, rocky, near vertical trails that led to the mine. Once we finally got there, exhausted, it was blocked off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35704

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12198

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By mish - 22/9/2013 20:41 - United Kingdom - Leominster

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

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48076

You deserved it

4151

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By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

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33538

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3190

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Top comments

By bobsanction | 16

#7905994 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:14

It's not your duty to protect his career. Reporting him is your duty to your fellow military members, and to refuse to is to dishonor your uniform.

By Sagar Nair | 11

#7905993 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:12

Follow your protocol. If it puts his military career at risk that’s all on him. Military don’t need people like him. You’ll be doing the right thing. Thank you for serving our country.

Comments

By Sagar Nair | 11

#7905993 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:12

Follow your protocol. If it puts his military career at risk that’s all on him. Military don’t need people like him. You’ll be doing the right thing. Thank you for serving our country.

By bobsanction | 16

#7905994 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:14

It's not your duty to protect his career. Reporting him is your duty to your fellow military members, and to refuse to is to dishonor your uniform.

Sagar Nair | 11

#7906215 - Thursday 14 May 2020 21:42

That’s not for you to decide.

julfunky | 29

#7906285 - Friday 15 May 2020 4:14

What you really mean is “we don’t want people who don’t abide to my idea of sexuality.” Trans people understand their sexuality just fine, YOU just don’t like it.

s_ve | 2

#7906316 - Friday 15 May 2020 5:35

100% well said

By William Uy Vu Le | 9

#7905995 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:24

You should definitely report him - I’m sure you can do it anonymously. At least ask your higher ups for advice, I’m sure they’ll counsel you accordingly.

By clair_brodie | 34

#7905998 - Thursday 14 May 2020 5:49

I am sorry but you need to report them. We do not need that kind of person in any type of leadership role.

By TheSminty1 | 17

#7906004 - Thursday 14 May 2020 6:25

You aren't risking ending his career, he did that all on his own

By thatkorean | 4

#7906015 - Thursday 14 May 2020 7:04

He wants to be bigoted let him but not when wearing that uniform. Report him.

By tounces7 | 26

#7906017 - Thursday 14 May 2020 7:11

Seems like the first choice would be obvious. There's no room for that in the military AT ALL. As per the immortal words of your drill sergeant - You are all equally worthless.

By guiltyschuldig49 | 11

#7906040 - Thursday 14 May 2020 9:01

Report him. Someone with a mindset like that does not deserve to be in a career that requires protecting people of any and all types.

By skippydoda | 32

#7906063 - Thursday 14 May 2020 10:56

Freedom of speech means the government can't stop him from posting it. That doesn't mean he is free from the consequences from others.

By kendonmcb | 17

#7906073 - Thursday 14 May 2020 11:42

Report that POS, he is not going anywhere in his life anyway.