Health: Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign....

By Harejordan - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20087

You deserved it

36336

Favorite

Health

Commando

Compassion

Alexa, play "Leave Me Alone" by New Order

By lolilovemyboyfriend - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58791

You deserved it

18487

Favorite

By Etherealskye1023 - 14/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Douglassville

Great parenting, dude

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1257

You deserved it

231

Favorite

By hannaslifesucks - Norway - Kleppe

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32617

You deserved it

1808

Favorite

By Tgreject - United States

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41391

You deserved it

3141

Favorite

By nick92 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26448

You deserved it

4367

Favorite

By MAC - France

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20318

You deserved it

3139

Favorite

By SmallTownCutie

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger, because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2002

You deserved it

434

Favorite

By mvgirl - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38932

You deserved it

5567

Favorite

By jend - United States

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42375

You deserved it

3746

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32879

You deserved it

5886

Favorite

By dmlk - France

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22947

You deserved it

5100

Favorite

By neednewfriends - United States

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32277

You deserved it

2925

Favorite

By Datingdisaster

Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3578

You deserved it

269

Favorite

By 102496 - France

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33659

You deserved it

4563

Favorite

By Jimseagoon

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2743

You deserved it

412

Favorite

By froyo - United States

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks

107456

You deserved it

4369

Favorite

By MrsGrinch

Today, I’d finally saved up enough to buy flights home for Christmas. After putting in the info several times, it wouldn’t work, so my husband decided to try and “help.” Not only did he buy flights to the wrong place, but now I have to wait another 5-7 days to be refunded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2612

You deserved it

238

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my road test. I'd never had driver's training and my mom taught me how to drive. I failed the test so badly, and when I got home my mom admitted to having taught me how to drive completely wrong because she didn't want me to get my license as she thinks I'm too young. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58765

You deserved it

4531

Favorite

By lala - United States

Red circle gang

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30594

You deserved it

4705

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5124

You deserved it

281

Favorite

By Toothy_Peg - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89057

You deserved it

4312

Favorite

By AkaiKitsune - Canada - Victoria

Today, while riding around the lake, a pair of kids thought it was okay to take turns yanking my horse's tail and running away so they didn't get kicked. When I told the parents not to let their kids do that, they said that I shouldn't be riding if I can't "control my beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4863

You deserved it

231

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18857

You deserved it

37388

Favorite

By idonthavelice - China

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

I agree, your life sucks

26013

You deserved it

2398

Favorite

By Peter - United States

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26483

You deserved it

2966

Favorite

By Shamdog48 - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34754

You deserved it

3726

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Perris

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26839

You deserved it

5178

Favorite

By nottrustworthy - United States

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31401

You deserved it

4551

Favorite

By Anonymous

No exit! No choice!

Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2135

You deserved it

267

Favorite

By jumanji

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33324

You deserved it

2626

Favorite

By GeeThanks - Canada - Toronto

Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3147

You deserved it

268

Favorite

By cduttl1230 - United States

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46982

You deserved it

3318

Favorite

By Noname - Canada

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59482

You deserved it

7581

Favorite

By And I'm still single - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42422

You deserved it

6020

Favorite

By poppet2010 - France

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

35600

You deserved it

2825

Favorite

By DrySpellcaster - 7/10/2020 16:57

Get it on, bang a gong

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1067

You deserved it

202

Favorite

By hihipanda - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41425

You deserved it

3309

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27336

You deserved it

5367

Favorite

By Anonymous - Poland - Polska

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62415

You deserved it

5594

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34730

You deserved it

5511

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By vfscx0aw6o7jshl | 0

#159 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:18

She stopped breathing to teach you the virtue of patience.

By DrDoog | 0

#17483 - Friday 6 March 2009 3:54

why does everyone say they deserved it? they didn't KILL the person.

COMMENTS

By vfscx0aw6o7jshl | 0

#159 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:18

She stopped breathing to teach you the virtue of patience.

sabrinatyler | 0

#820108 - Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:27

bahahha!

babe7260 | 30

#5555608 - Thursday 27 June 2013 23:45

Love it!!!

allyiscute1 | 22

#6228451 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 4:29

That's deep

By Imdead | 0

#164 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:25

I hope you tried to administer CPR. It wasn't too late if she was only there for a minute. Or if you don't know CPR, I hope you at least called for help.

By svsockerguy | 0

#174 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:31

you are ridiculous good sir!

By circayouandme | 0

#661 - Sunday 8 February 2009 14:20

That's what you get for being so inconsiderate

BigMacBoi | 3

#3109286 - Monday 15 August 2011 0:48

What an ironic comment..

By Guest_fml | 0

#1241 - Wednesday 11 February 2009 5:19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Eir_fml | 1

#4150 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:17

I'd have driven around after 10 seconds.

By DrDoog | 0

#17483 - Friday 6 March 2009 3:54

why does everyone say they deserved it? they didn't KILL the person.

Count_Coolness | 26

#6091360 - Friday 17 October 2014 1:28

Aye, but to get out and yell is to assume the person is sitting about for kicks. Jumping to conclusions and over aggression is why people vote they deserved it.

By TheEpicScrewup | 0

#20201 - Saturday 7 March 2009 22:42

I'm sorry, but that's hilarious :) Sucks for the old person and you, but still great.

By icy_snake_91 | 0

#24918 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:39

Haha thats kinda funny.. but kinda not.. I mean people get frustrated if the person isn't attention to stop signs.. you did what alot of people would normally do.. Wasn't your fault she was dead.. not like you caused it.. or didn't even know she died until you got there..

By Fed_up_life | 0

#65367 - Saturday 28 March 2009 20:59

PERFECT TOUCH!!!