The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By justdancebbyx3 - 06/06/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 030

You deserved it 3 017

Thieves like us

By Broeman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her unemployed stoner boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 429

You deserved it 4 441

Oddball

By Fatherless - 24/06/2021 18:00

Today, the guy I’ve been dating told me to lose his number and never see him again all because I told him I grew up without a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 83

Nice guy

By fiercehawk - 18/02/2014 05:45 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 236

You deserved it 5 350

By Anonymous - 10/02/2013 17:55 - Norway - Bergen

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 951

You deserved it 2 628

Monday morning sucks

By Linds - 28/06/2021 14:01

Today, I came home to find that maggots had taken over my garbage can this weekend. We weren't home to catch it, and I didn't use the garbage this morning. On top of that, I hadn't had my caffeine for the day because I ran out and forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 293

By woah - 04/05/2011 11:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 042

You deserved it 8 243

Rough patch

By nosexlife - 12/09/2009 15:31 - United States

Today, I was with my seven year-old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it. She loudly responded, "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 711

You deserved it 5 045

Happy Anniversary!

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 06:00

Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 304

It's not a phase, Mom!

By worried mama - 31/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 176

Use it wisely

By armywife980 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, after teaching my 4 year-old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming, "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 448

You deserved it 7 947

Mom has an interesting past it seems…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2022 21:30 - United States

Today, I was informed by my mother that my extremely long pinky fingernail could probably get me mistaken for a coke addict. My fingernails grow uncontrollably fast, and my pinky nail is completely natural. It just happens to grow much longer than the others. Imagine explaining that to a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 342

By none - 28/02/2012 18:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 951

You deserved it 35 415

That's what I call Heavy Metal

By Jordan - 30/04/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing air guitar and headbanging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 315

You deserved it 37 465

Chill out

By customerservicesucks - 26/05/2010 04:26 - Canada

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her TV repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 3 018

Wild

By harrassed - 11/09/2022 02:30 - Australia

Today, my housemate yelled at me because I'm "ignoring" her and it makes her feel "rejected and hated." Last week, she yelled at me for saying hello, and told me not to speak to her unless she spoke to me first, because she was "stressed out" and "can't be disturbed." I can't take her mood swings any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 124

Trick question

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 21:57 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 607

You deserved it 33 705

Riveting

By Kebabjoon - 29/04/2011 11:36 - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 623

You deserved it 4 883

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 13:49 - United States

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 228

You deserved it 44 794

Bittersweet

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 05:58

Today, I, a woman, realized that only women find me attractive, which is fine, except that I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 104

By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 01/02/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 161

You deserved it 6 431

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 373

You deserved it 3 202

By AH. - 07/09/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents said no, because it would cost too much money. I came home to see my parents had bought a huge TV for $800. We already have 3 televisions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 917

You deserved it 4 376

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 8 860

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 01:00

Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy I could think of, I finally went to go to a doctor for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more tea and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 248

By ab1e - 12/05/2010 20:07 - United States

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 3 068

Single and ready to Pringle

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 892

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 651

By sidldaking - 21/01/2014 23:24 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 7 617

sidldaking tells us more.

sidldaking 18

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:38

To follow up on the FML, I complained to my teacher and informed him about the situation. The project had multiple parts and we were given some time to work on it in class. I managed to finish my part of the project a few days earlier and all I had to do, was wait for my partners to finish their parts and I can put the whole thing together and hand it in. I kept goading my partners to finish their parts but to no avail. Finally on the night before the deadline, I begged my partners to finish, but they refused due to the possible snow day the next day. My teacher understood the situation and he decided to accept my part and grade it for me while the rest of my partners failed. P.S. Sorry for being so late

Betrayal

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sexting my friend for about a month. I've already paid for our wedding, which was supposed to be next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 133

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Cars Transportation Awkward Work Miscellaneous Drunk Weird Alcohol Gross Music Annoying NSFW Porn Intimacy Parenting Babysitter Kids Suspicious Health Phobias Geek Neighbours Dreams Family Animals Landlords Sex Anxiety Stressed out

The Top

The Top

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 375

You deserved it 1 870

Today, my boyfriend was extremely angry. He found a naked photograph of me online that he thought I'd been sending to other guys. It wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 133

You deserved it 1 211

Today, the only reason I have toilet paper is because someone decided to teepee my driveway and left an entire roll behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 886

You deserved it 2 072

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 008

You deserved it 3 046

Today, my depression has seemingly hit a new low when I barely reacted at all to my sister excitedly telling me that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm not going to be a fun one at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 163

Today, a week after my girlfriend of 6 years checked herself into a rehab program 5 hours away, she called me and said I was too much of a toxic enabler and not good for her mental health, so she ended it and I have to move out before she gets home. I was going to propose when she came home. I’m completely broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 135