Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost three months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
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Top comments
doc_j 0
what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on
khaya 9
What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?
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Comments (152)
jba1013 0
wow..
whiteboy7thst 2
...potato chips?
strizz18 0
must have been some good ass chips
The_Weirdo 10
Are you kidding, these BBQ chips I just opened are getting me pretty horny right now. ; D
ViciousFoxes 0
What brand of chips could possibly be that good? I think I'm buying the wrong kind.
humzizzl3 0
you should start banging chips then, seems like you get a better ****** out of that
fmlsaves 0
I see fat people o.O
PurpleRae420 0
Yah WTF ok I almost have an ****** over reese's but I don't weigh over 200 yah I think you do need some help because if you can only get an ****** over potato chips and not your husband then that is just sad why can't that be motivation right there that you need to join a gym?
YacL 15
76- Because food.
Prankster7o7 5
76- What the hell are you talking about? Where does it say that OP is fat?
TylersMB 0
wow. well at least you wwere enthusiastic about something.
ohrlynao 0
i'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!
vegaspowerlifter 0
wow
YacL 15
113- I'm sorry... but I think I love you
urdirtyolduncle 15
She gives a whole different meaning to "Lays"
misscalimar 10
You should just put a poster of food over the bed lol
rawrdiinosaurrz 0
76- someone replied to your answer on a different FML but imma say it again I have seen your comments a million times and they all have been a thumbs down or a comment has too many thumbs down every single time you post a comment
urdirtyolduncle 15
I was about to write that. I think she's probably a social outcast who gets many thumbs down, both on the Internet and in real life (assuming she has a life) ...
Spewn 2
Must've been a good ******.
Docbee 11
113 epic kira action :D
Randuhh_17 4
76- I don't nor can I ever understand your comments... WTF are you saying exactly?...
awesomeooo3 0
Love this. Just think of them whenever you have sex then. Maybe next time you can imagine a warm apple pie? Like warm apple pie...
KingofHearts215 0
That's the only word I could think of too..
imacreeper 3
I think 76 was referring to 70's comment..anyway, you do not/never do make ANY sense in any of your comments. I could thumbs down your comment without even reading it, but I don't because I'm just so damn sweet like that and always get a kick outta them!
cummbubble 0
76 your comments make me want to kill myself
coralita 0
your profile pic is my favorite motorcycle!!!
thetrollyoulike 6
HEY... shut up...
iownyou777 0
76 is a troll or a complete dumbass
jossiegregg 5
that's absolutely repulsive! you need help...
0hs0unique 0
yea I want some of what she got lol
DreBeezy 9
obviously pringles ;)
runnerguy1987 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What kind of fatass has an ****** at the thought of a bag of chips? You need to get some help tubby.
enoughgrace 4
This comment is pretty mean hearted but it's a good observation.
khaya 9
What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?
JustOhSoLovely 6
your picture and your comment together made me laugh so hard lol
stringking21 0
I replied to your reply!!
SnookieBaybie 0
lmfaooooo
starile 20
Lucky woman, if she can ****** at the thought of food.
KayBizz 0
i thought it meant she faked the ****** because she wanted chips
IdontWanna69 8
Well eating foods that you enjoy does give you a good amount of pleasure...
CaptainPickles72 18
33- No not jelly beans! What would you do for a klondike bar?
katiek69 0
what would you do for a Klondike bar?
HollyoaksFan93 9
Food, Glorious Food!
XZeenon 1
93 - No comment...
ihasbrains 10
What would you do-o-o for a Klondike baaar?
A7X_LoVeee 10
Nothing.
Thakidd_3497 0
36 your cute
effedml 5
Agree with #10
mkelly159 7
84 needs to learn a lesson from this. it's what would you do O-O for a Klondike bar. Get it right you weirdo
EvilPotato 15
I know you said what I wanted to say.
eliteteamdancer 0
Bahahaha! I know right?!
XZeenon 1
I got thumbed down for saying "no comment"? Fine I'll just say: 93 is fat, of course shell think of food as glorious. -.-
HollyoaksFan93 9
209- You don't have to be fat to enjoy food you nobhead.
donnatones 0
I agree!
gorina 0
I get excited over bags of potato chips. Not because I'm a fatass but we just don't have them often so yeah. ramble ramble.
XZeenon 1
216 - I don't think of food as glorious...
XZeenon 1
216, 217. - How would you guys know?
valdancer99 0
everything...
F14Shado 0
33, I'm dying. lolol
gawkward 2
209- i think 93 was making a reference to the song "food, glorious food. "
SkkyeMessor 0
you have potato in your name and we're talking about potato chips.....lol that's a little funny to me ;p
SkkyeMessor 0
We're talking about potato chips and "potato" is in your name (y) I find that funny, lol ;p
SkkyeMessor 0
Fail, lol, double post xD and I was referring to #191 "Evilpotato"
528Alice491 3
I'd like this, if it weren't for the rude name.
Annies 20
Where does it say OP is fat?
FMLandurstoo 9
At least you orgasmed. I like it better when guys ****** though. Mmmmmmhmmmm.
hook_em 0
ohhhhhh noooooo! Mr Herbert is back. hide all your children people because he likes little boys oooooooo
hook_em 0
btw congrats on your first ****** in 3 months oooooo
hook_em 0
btw congrats on your first ****** in 3 months oooooo
FMLandurstoo 9
I'm pretty sure I'm starting a family guy community on here
hook_em 0
yea we just have us quagmire chris and Cleveland that's it
chiddy_bang71 0
23 ooohhh nnooooooo! make sure you tell Jeffrey that that nasty old Herbert is snatching up them children again to fill his Nast fantasies (I tried to say what your picture would say, bear with me)
chiddy_bang71 0
nasty*
deekiin 0
he's climbing in you window, snatching your children up, so hide yo kids
WavinFlag 3
hide yo husband xD
Sadieladean 0
cuz he's comin' in and rapin' everybody!!
jaidonsafira 0
Giggity. Oh god wait! Nevermind. Giggity.
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
cuz they rapin errebody out here :)
amadais 1
i couldnt help myself
kkmwong 11
lol you're awesone
Bassgeek 0
HERBERT AND BRUCE!!!
jaidonsafira 0
Brian get out of here!
sweet_blue 3
wow that's pretty sad
unluckiestperson_fml 14
True, but at least she had one, and made her husband happy. Smiles all round, everyone's happy, plus she gets potato chips!
WiderWille 11
I would cum too if I got potato chips as reward. At least OP had a good reason.
sensoon15 7
chips get you horny?...probably tastes better
GreekYogurt 26
He sounds like he really tries. Op is a douche.
YacL 15
Foodgasm.
qwert1994 0
Mmmmmmm chips I want you, inside me. Sooo bad I orgasmed.
xjessxjessx 0
lol nice :)
The_CookieMonste 0
Okay seriously that's just pathetic. I could understand cookies but seriously common.
Averance 8
who orgasms over chips?
orphinz 3
Peter griffin
ThatLooksSticky 16
exactly! this would make so much more sense if it was cookies, not chips.
imOaks 3
Clearly OP does.
fylnotmine89 1
your mom
aardvarkish 17
Who the hell doesn't??!!
ak7477 9
apparently not you...
Mpsteve13 7
chip fetish ftw
whiteboy7thst 2
More like wtf
Mpsteve13 7
well the thought of cheetos gives me a semi, so I can relate
noah1213 0
lol!
WhiskeyMouse 0
#49 what the hell the thought of cheetos?!?
doc_j 0
what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on
imcutefml 0
u sir are an epic win
starile 20
Women would enjoy giving blow jobs a lot more if dicks tasted like candy.
CitrusGirl 0
That's what flavored condoms are for.
ImYourVirus 0
I hear they have an operation for that now...
courttpaiige 0
skitttles.. yum
savanh_fml 0
champion!
GabyGirl555 2
I really feel like that would make it exciting....certainly make it more frequent lmao
zane952 0
akward
iAmScrubs 19
You loved the saltiness of the potato chips?