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Hey, OP here. We are still together. Have attended counselling and we are both being much more open and loving with each other. The issue was both his and mine but we are both working on our problems together and I'm proud to say our marriage is better and more fun than ever :)

Bad idea

By Anonymous - 19/04/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 35 069

Everyone's so sensitive these days

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 18:00

Today, like every day for the past six months, I have to go to work and walk on eggshells so the newest employee doesn't feel like I'm being passive-aggressive. I need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 151

Family is for sharing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Leandro

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 183

You deserved it 4 621

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 07:47 - Venezuela

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 034

You deserved it 3 718

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 244

You deserved it 10 903

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

By Misha - 05/06/2022 06:00

Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 175

By medosin - 21/05/2012 12:10 - Austria

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 4 594

This is fine

By Anonymous - 16/07/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 46 328

The receipts, the tea

By over and over it - 20/03/2021 00:30 - United States

Today, I found out a guy I used to date is trying to get me fired from my dream job. He found an old flip phone with a text argument we had nearly 17 years ago. He wants me punished for things I said when I was an angry 15 year old-kid. HR is now looking into the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 126

I'm innocent!

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 04:00

Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 150

By Missedtheboat - 30/10/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 694

You deserved it 32 633

Haunting

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 22:00

Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 054

You deserved it 7 954

Grow up

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 00:30

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 133

Healthy relationship goals

By Anonymous - 10/06/2022 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I'm more interested in Facebook stalking a former coworker than seeing what my girlfriend is doing on a business trip. On her birthday. For a week. Where she insisted on staying in her ex's spare bedroom. That she decorated for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 907

Love language

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 486

You deserved it 3 936

By Username - 16/09/2010 23:27 - France

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 933

You deserved it 11 505

Hello goodbye

By mydatinglifesucks - 15/06/2014 06:31 - United States

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 891

You deserved it 6 800

By foreverbrown - 15/05/2012 02:23 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 3 165

By tickyette - 14/09/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 255

You deserved it 10 360

Great news

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 832

You deserved it 2 999

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 108

Bosses gonna boss

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 096

You deserved it 2 344

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Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 360

You deserved it 4 564

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 337

You deserved it 3 979

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." She then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 968

You deserved it 3 607

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 032

You deserved it 15 247

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 206

You deserved it 4 193

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 1 549