#1 Mom

By Eden - 14/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 952
You deserved it 3 152

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Just lie so you can get the medical attention! Groundation is a lot nicer than possible death from not being able to breathe!


Calling 911 might sound like a good idea, but if the OP's mom is anything like mine, I'd be in more trouble for calling 911 and having an ambulance pick me up than "admitting" that I kissed someone. Those things aren't cheap.

2ndSucks 15

You could just make someone up. Calling 911 is a bit extreme for swollen tonsils, especially if you're able to take the time to post an fml about it.

Say you kissed someone and had sex and then call your mom a prudish bitch. Tear your house apart and slam your head against the wall break your arm and get that bitch put in prison for assault, child abuse, etc.

That's a little extreme, even for joking.

garrettsgirl 0

Shit parents piss me the **** off. Plus I'm in a bad mood. So no it's not too harsh. If you're abusive you need to go to prison.

mynameis1339 0

I was wondering how OPs mom could be such a moron but then I noticed that OP is from New Jersey then it all made sence.

I think 37 was deprived of hugs from his mommy as a child

^ No you idiot. I love my mom, my mom did everything for me. I owe her all I got. That's why it pisses me off to see assholes like this mom.

62- he had a bad day give him a break

kportal69 5

before you call someone a moron you should spell sense correctly

swimchica22 0

you should have called 911....if your tonsils swell up enough it might stop you from breathing. too extreme?! I think not!!

Why the hell do I need to calm down? Am I hurting anybody??? No I'm not. It's words. Learn to accept them.

swimchica22 0
FunnyWeasel 7

if they were good prostitutes they wouldn't be homeless

84 : my tonsils have been that big , and one still is. You can breathe fine , you just can't eat or drink , or swallow ANYTHING. ha thats what she said. ;Dq

swimchica22 0

99- but if they keep swelling... that's what I was saying....

Idonebeenhad 17
AirForce48 2

The mom sounds like a bitch for not putting the well being of her child first

@71... You obviously have never traveled out of New Jersey.

I'm telling you to calm down because you're making yourself look like a moron.

I'm not sure why everyone's pissed at 37's comment. Wether or not he was being serious. It was still ******* hilarious to me.

You think I give a shit. I make myself look like an imbecile every day. Why would I care what any of you guys think of me? None of you should care what others think of you either...

at first glance thought it said nostrils not tonsils

KiddNYC1O 20

33- How is calling 911 extreme? 84 is right... What would you do if your breathing was constricted by something growing in your throat? Not just lodged in there, growing.

StudMuffinette 17

127 If you don't care then quit trying to defend yourself. You seem to be the kind of person who has to have the last word, and that my friend is a complex. What you posted originally was extreme, and you know it. Acting like a jackass isn't helping your defenses so stop. And if you feel like you can't stop, don't panic: there's medication. Now I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

56 ******* dumbass if you had any proper spelling I would assume you are a ******* 12 year old. Who the hell are you to say New Jersey people are morons. Dont criticise New Jersey, you ma'am, are the only moron here.

guys calm down he was just joking about that comment

Wow lets stop hating on new jersey...

#56: this coming from the idiot who misspelled SENSE. I'm from NJ and I got straight A+ in all my classes which were and still are, in highschool, all honors.

It's funny because your profile is so ******, yet you're trying to act proper.

at 141 how old are you, you twisted ****? and also your profile is ******* hilarious! half an inch penis...lmfao

I'm your age and I go on here to talk shit for fun.

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be responding

Can we just stop, please? Why don't we all just respect everyone's opinions and consider the fact that we don't know the person and therefore can't judge what they think, say, or do, as they are a product of their past? We don't know where they are coming from so let's just stop arguing.

OkayImSorry- I know you don't care what people think, but I have to tell you, I think you're awesome. :)

justynicole 0

"mom I kissed someone." now how hard is that?

posting something with your fingers has nothing to do with ur mouth stupid.

Arguing is fun as shit. What else is there to do while I'm driving other than go on Fml and not look at the road?

zendaddy0 0

#1 and say what "nuh muhh nuh nuh hurrr mouuuuu blooo noh ngh ghth"

kinder10_fml 0

that's when you grow a set & tell your mother to quit being a piece of shit. just sayin'

OkImSorry- just because you're in a bad mood doesn't give you the right to act like a giant jackass to everyone and criticize them. You just need to calm your ****, take a break from FML, and come back when you can act mature and even-headed. You could also cuss less, it makes people seem less intelligent when they cuss in almost every sentence.

#199, you realise you're speaking to a website filled with idiots who think they're always right, right?

the cops will side with OPs mom because she has " the authority"

Last time I checked I DO have the right to be a jackass. I don't like you guys and you guys don't like me. This app/website is my entertainment when I am bored. Especially on Thursday nights when there aren't any parties.

DudeItsMelvin 0

I think the word your looking for is criticize…

Sacurason 0

While that us too extreme, I do agree with him in some ways. So many people are punished for giving spankings, yet who is punished for waiting to take a child to the hospital? And when the alternative is lying( or begging, really ) to receive medical attention, I would expect eventual psychological damage. It's quite abusive, and I have an extreme dislike of it. my suggestion: hold on, be strong, and get out the second you're eighteen.

JennaMason 6

your mom sounds like a huge ******* bitch? holy.

new jersey doesn't have 911. governor Christie cut it from the budget. he also personally ate the numbers 9 and 1 from every household phone.

I'm loving how everyone hates new jersey. we should start a club.

DudeItsMelvin 0

So you have that same scene kid attitude to not care about what anyone says. You will be among the first to be eaten by the living dead.

DudeItsMelvin 0

people like you make me lose hope in humanity.

WikedWaffle 0

luvppl no. no we can not, welcome to the interwebz I'm just kidding we can do that as long as okayimsorry shuts the **** up

slushpup9696 12

I don't really care about how OkayImSorry acts. We're all different people when we're not on the computer. He's not a huge douche in person, I bet.

WikedWaffle 0

no not a huge douche just a fat ass who lives in his mothers basement playing world of worldcraft and taking his anger out on people who are just posting there problems while jerking it cause because it's the only way he'll bust a nut.

danaynicole94 0

everyone needs to stop hating on jersey. just because of one neglectful parent we are all morons? well then in that case every state would be screwed...especially Florida with Casey Athoney there!

I think it's funny how 37's name is OkImSorry lol

FunnyGuy5051 7

where are the admins to ban people like 37?

32- every fml starts with today. op could have posted the day after. 99% of fmls don't happen the day they are posted.

StopDropNRoll 11

I don't think he kisses and tells..

If you're going to call 911, I hope you have insurance.

Yup. Make up a name. Try: Ivana Humpalot.

that's what I'm saying. don't sit there w| ya throat swelling

dontyawishyaknew 12

Why does it even matter if OP did kiss someone?

@6 ambulances are free..... the doctors are expensive

I had a boner for four hours, and I was going to call the doctor, but luckily your picture made it disappear!!

DoubleDanielle 0

88- that's so mean!!! But you made me laugh...

KingGeorgeGal 12

i would still call 911. But it all depends on what u got to lose. let say your mom starts hitting. easy call police she goes to jail and u go to child services. But what if lose a nice room with a tv ect. Or your life sucks already with basic things child services won't be anyworse maybe a step up. 88- that was really uncalled for I didn't laugh at all. unless you did it make fun of her making a short coment to be first then I aprove.

DudeItsMelvin 0

you're saying getting a boner is gross, but your description says you have a website that girlfriends/wives shouldn't see? okay.

her site is all about how she has the biggest **** in britain

94- I checked out your website, to give a general review, you're fat and you're **** are too big, there is nothing about you worth money.

88 ur gonna get your 4hr boner again once u look at 94's pic

swimchica22 0

94: I bet your boobs are fake huh?

Alex94xela 0

holy shit those are huge **** O.O anyways 88 is a winner.

WikedWaffle 0

okay i guess I'll just say it... are those boobs real

WikedWaffle 0

okay i guess I'll just say it... are those boobs real

94- u think thats gross? take a look at ur profile pic!

ExplodingToaster 6

"I agree, your life sucks." There's a button for that

Just lie so you can get the medical attention! Groundation is a lot nicer than possible death from not being able to breathe!


Well normally being buried in the ground also means you cant breathe...

Either by death or punishment, the OP will ultimately end up grounded.

soulfulemo 0

I prefer the term "hilarious". #51, it's his mating call.

Lmao 52!:) just say something OP! Being grounded isn't as bad as not breathing... I would think. Anyways, FYL:(

I see what you did there! Very smart, very smart;)

trust me , I know this ; you can still breathe when your tonsils are that big.

Groundation? I've never heard that used before. I'm too old to be grounded but I'm definitely using it when I have kids. Anyway, I agree. Just lie and admit you kissed someone so you can get medical attention. Groundation is better than being very sick or worse...

tacocannon99 5

I don't know why, but this FML gave me a ferocious ******.

myspacer117 0

wow... it was a joke, sherlock

zendaddy0 0

well the problem is ops tonsils are soo swelled op can't speak so even if he wanted to she couldn't lie

ReynshineCutting 10

100- Not always. My fiancé was rushed to the ER 2 1/2 years ago because his tonsils were so swollen he couldn't breathe. It does happen.

It doesn't matter anyway because either way she can't leave the kitchen.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Usually I laugh at the kitchen jokes but this one is stupid.

you cant call 911? but fml is always there right?

bryyxoo 0

Ambulance rides are expensive, up to $1,200 here. Calling them would probably get the OP in more trouble.

Well then, when OP's mom has to foot the bill we'll have another FML on which we can click YDI. She's using a petty, imagined excuse to avoid taking her kid to hospital, so she deserves to be shouldered with the resulting expense. Call it asshole tax. Or bitch tax, I suppose.

tacocannon99 5

that's not what your mon said last night!!!!! phew, I'm on a roll!

no you're not. what is wrong with you...

212- If by "roll" you mean "marijuana" then possibly.

tacocannon99 5

damn. it was a simple joke. I would never cheat on 278s mom with anyone.

tacocannon99 5

my comment was removed? I was trolling. was it that offensive? damn. both of them were. well I received my anal punishment from the mod hammer. I now obliviously shit my pants. thanks for widening my rectum Sirin!

You should probably stop kissing homeless prostitutes.

KingDingALing 9

Homeless prostitutes are the best kissers, though.


who kisses prostitutes that's not what they're for.

It's not their fault they're homeless!

CommonSenseKarma 17

kissing homeless prositute is fun they cuddle with you afterwards all for a ham sandwhich..

WikedWaffle 0

the'll do more than that for a sandwich.........

slushpup9696 12

Sometimes I hire them to make me sandwiches. I guess that makes them chefs and not prostitutes.

xxxlovesENEMYxxx 0

kiss her & she'll see her tonsils won't swell this proving u right

KatieLov3sChu 4

well at least ur getting practice having things in ur throat ;)

Could this posibly be who DocBastard was talking about?

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

182- sweet ass guitar by the way!! is it urs?

KatieLov3sChu 4

probably not :D seeing as I joined yesterday