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Time to call it quits

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 18:00

Today, marks the sixth month in a row my husband of two years refuses to have sex with me. I've shaved everything, I lost weight to try to be more shapely, I do more chores, work, and go to school. I can't even get him erect with a BJ. I don't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 156

By bobbeta30 - 11/01/2012 16:33 - United States

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 408

You deserved it 44 475

bobbeta30 tells us more.

bobbeta30 14

Saturday 14 May 2016 5:35

i'm the OP, I just stumbled upon this FML after over 4 years.. I'm pleased to announce that I've moved on from spending $5 on virtual cats to over $300 on virtual anime girl cards. and I have 2 real cats now. don't let your dreams be dreams, guys

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 4 249

Freudian slip

By someonevexed - 01/02/2009 19:01 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 045

You deserved it 10 236

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 07/03/2011 01:48 - United States

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 977

You deserved it 8 929

By Jack - 01/02/2009 08:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 638

You deserved it 3 293

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 342

You deserved it 2 716

Family ties

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 14:00

Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 060

You deserved it 156

By chels - 10/12/2012 07:47 - United States - Youngstown

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 3 391

By N1ch0la1 - 08/08/2009 09:35 - South Africa

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 2 978

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 556

You deserved it 3 365

By unwantedforlife - 20/11/2013 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 005

You deserved it 3 852

By kids next door - 18/11/2013 10:14 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 299

You deserved it 3 695

By sparkx555 - 03/01/2012 16:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 028

You deserved it 43 002

sparkx555 tells us more.

sparkx555 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 21:18

ok, my mother lives with my brother, she is in the early stages of demetia, she's never left alone, i do everything for her, except answer the phone 15 or more times a day to answer the same questions. i do love her, more than anything, but the phone thing, between her and the nusiance sales calls, I feel a little demented myself! And I could have done with the day off, I would have spent it with her.

By trainhump - 20/02/2010 10:54 - Australia

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 339

You deserved it 3 053