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Australia where else

HowAreYouToday 34

why don't you take those puns and shove them up your butt


You cat to be kitten me right meow

HowAreYouToday 34

why don't you take those puns and shove them up your butt

#1 You realize those puns were used on an FML like yesterday...

Puns get you nowhere on this app.

On the previous FML your comment got negatives, good job on this one

Puns have to be both clever and original to get upvoted on this site.

I groaned in exasperation for at least a full minute. That's a new record.

You know who's good at those? Neoplasm.

Australia where else

I hope you caught and got rid of it or you will probably never sleep again.

In the spider's head: "you remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell on the other side of the bed? I remember too"

I think it's time to move somewhere else.

And I think it's time to burn down the house to...KILL IT WITH FIRE! FYL OP

" I saw a spider in my bathtub so, I got a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down."

Thats a awful way to wake up! I feel so bad for you OP!!!

Wow these are the shitty first comments i've ever seen even including my own

Was this comment solely for the purpose of attention?

I'm not going to lie I really really thought this was going to get down voted

ikr they are retarded

I can't imagine a spider being as smooth and furry as a cat.

Huntsman spiders might beg to differ.

most tarantulas beg to differ, including my own :)

I've never touched one. Too afraid.

the spider was cat sized... how did your cat not eat it.. sorry, I'd burn the bed

Op should either grab a vacuum and suck it up, or my favorite, if you're man enough, get a tissue, light it up and very gently burn down

wait I'm confused how or where do you place the tissue

it must have been jealous of the affection the cat got that's why it killed the cat and went to bed with op

Because OP lives in Australia

You'd burn the bed, I'd burn the whole house just to be on the safe side. Edit: @19 sorry I didn't see your comment till now. Great minds think alike?

Tom and Jerry: Tom finally kills Jerry.

#28- Correction: If OP was a man, then the spider beat the Pussy to the bed ;-)

The spider ate the cat, thats how! Does OP live in the amazon?

Even spiders need some loving attention once in a while. I'm sure he appreciated the attempt at affection, however misplaced it was.

I don't think love is an emotion any spider can feel or appreciate.

Peter Parker disagrees.

Loving attention from my size 8 boot to the face!

Yup time to burn somethings like the house perhaps

How did you get a cat confused with a spider? surely you'd feel the covers move when the cat would have went under them. then again you may have been too sleepy to function. either way, FYL.

That's terrifying! Wow. Run like hell!

They love when you run. To them, it's like foreplay.

#39, every comment I've seen you post has been fucking fantastic.