Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Rotation
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
"Friends"
Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
FOCUS!
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML
Give me a break!!
Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Chair club
Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML
Today, a girl in my class threw a temper tantrum. Why? Because she wanted my seat. We're in high school. FML
Top comments
gc327072 31
Sit in between them. hatersgonnahate.jpg
daner10 5
Grade-A jerks!
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Comments (100)
daner10 5
Grade-A jerks!
TheZee 12
I wonder why does that matter to you... I also wonder if you simply wanted to be first to comment... I wonder "who am I" :O... I wonder if I'm going to be thumbed down for this... I wonder- *buried* :(
TheZee 12
#1 totally changed his comment from "I wonder who loses...". Now my previous comment doesn't make sense :(
emeraldisle 30
8 - I wonder what you're trying to say.
daner10 5
Nah, totally did not do that...
pradip 26
12- are you sure? The time difference between 1&7 is around 240 seconds. Given there's 120 seconds to edit each comment, there is a very little chance 1 could've edited the comment.
Carpy 8
Idea: next time lean over away from them & let out a nice silent but deadly or if you're not bashful, squeeze a nice squeaker out. Let them bask if the smell of your methane since they wanna be assholes.
Airman1988 9
I'm a loser baby so why don't cha kill me.
Airman1988 9
5 points for anyone who actually gets the song reference here
gc327072 31
-1 point for making an obscure reference.
LiterOfCola 16
In the time of FML comments, #2 was a monkey. Get crazy with the cheese wiz.
Airman1988 9
Hey Maybe I just like that song and felt like thinking about it, there is never a bad time to reminisce about good old Beck songs.
jmcr 27
From cage the elephant i forget the song name its from though
cristy91 33
It's not really that obscure, it came out in the 90s
cristy91 33
Ran out of edit time, just wanted to say I feel stupid. The 90s were over 10 years. Sorry guys, my mind forgets I'm not a little kid anymore.
Hiphuray4peas 27
Too bad it's not obscure. Loser by Beck made it to number 10 on Billboard's Hot 100 in 1994. Which means, despite it being 18 years later, it is well known.
LiterOfCola 16
If you've ever listened to the song in its entirety, you'd realize that is IS in fact very lyrically obscure.
SeattlesBest97 1
Yay glee covers for making me aware of songs!
thatonename 7
It makes me sad you needed glee to know that song... I'm not even ripping on glee at all. I'm just with 32, it seems so recent to me, its odd that you wouldn't have known it.... :(
Metallica36176 16
Well I got 5 points for knowing the song but went down 3 after the other comments and then it went down by 10 when the glee comment hit so my points are around the -7 -8 range.
tygerarmy 35
Despite it being a good and popular song I'm not surprised people don't know it. Despite being born in '86 I listen to music from the 50's through the present, but even with the Internet people today don't seem to want to know the artists that inspired the artist they love.
ALlamaOnFire 20
79 - You can keep that to yourself...
TheZee 12
Take a shower? I would assume that's the main reason to not want to sit next to someone, to stink xD.
newbiehere99 6
Did you read the FML?
TheZee 12
Yes I did. Two girls fight about NOT sitting next to him (the loser gets to sit next to him). What I was suggesting is that there is probably a reason WHY they are fighting to NOT sit next to him. The best reason I can come up with is if he stinks. Did you read my comment?
newbiehere99 6
16- You mad?
gracehi 33
That was my first thought too, Zee. I think Newbiehere (aptly named) is the one with reading comprehension problems, not you.
Eelam_star 2
That is not the only reason. Those two bitches could be the ones that think, if a guy does not look like Brad Pitt then he is a loser.
gracehi 33
43, No, it's certainly not the only possibility. It's what I immediately thought of, though, only because I used to know someone who similarly suffered from social problems because of poor personal hygiene.
TheZee 12
43 - I never stated it to be the only reason. What I was saying is simply a possibility, and I do think that my assumption is more likely to be the one, rather than the "Brat Pitt looking" one you stated.
newbiehere99 6
Man some people take these comments way too serious ...
Eelam_star 2
All I was trying to say that you shouldn't point the finger at OP. My girl friend sometimes calls me a loser because I play lot of video games. It all comes down to the person. To correct my pervious statement, these girl probably wanted to only sit beside popular guys/girls. And trust me, their are tons of shallow people like that. At the end, we can argue all day but we can't really judge without further information.
Krissey_DJ 16
The OP is actually a big germaphobe, so it's not that she isn't clean She's just shy and quiet
gc327072 31
Sit in between them. hatersgonnahate.jpg
magicman13 9
That's funny
newbiehere99 6
You really think so?
laden_swallow09 35
How?
emeraldisle 30
Don't let those bitches get to you. They should feel honoured sitting next to you.
missL1z 5
Why honored?
Metallica36176 16
61- I feel that the only reason you commented is to try to correct her in the use of "u" in "honoured". Which is acceptable either way and just depends on where you come from and personal preference.
emeraldisle 30
61 - I should be asking you the same thing.
bestnameright 14
Wait why do you have an assigned seat but not them? And since they can sit wherever why next to you if they don't like you? There has to be more to the story.
forever12 8
It could be assigned seating where you're in pairs and can alternate between you and your partner. That's how it is for meee.
bestnameright 14
Ohhhh makes sense I guess.
unknown_user5566 27
Sounds like they're the losers, not you, IMO. Whatever the reason is for not wanting to sit by you, they could at least be more tactful about it. Finding out that you're unwanted like that has to hurt.
gracehi 33
They likely don't want to sit next to you for one of three reasons: You're ugly, you're creepy, or you're stinky. The process of elimination should determine what the problem is. I suggest you start by bathing.
Shrike 24
Or they have no good reason to put OP down, and are just stupid bitches, much like yourself. Who knows, just throwing out suggestions.
gracehi 33
Speaking of stupid bitches, I suggest you brush up on your joke recognition skills.
Shrike 24
Oh, claiming joking/sarcasm, that's not old at all. Well, while we're on terrible old cliches: "Jokes are supposed to be funny."
KiddNYC1O 22
This joke is well dead but- go play in traffic, grace.
gracehi 33
Oh, please. Get over yourselves. You're bring pretty hypocritical. OP opened himself up to such jibes when he posted this online.
Shrike 24
"OP opened himself up to such jibes when he posted this online." That applies just as much to you posting your own stupid comment on FML, so who's the real hypocrite here?
KiddNYC1O 22
Jibes
gracehi 33
Shrike, this is may be true, however, it is your choice if you want to throw a tantrum about something a complete stranger says about someone you don't even know. Either what I said is true, and OP likely either already knows it or didn't consider the possibility and now will improve his personal hygiene and social skills, or it's not true and OP will brush what I said off as inaccurate speculation by someone who knows nothing about it. I did not mean to offend anyone, including OP, and it's a shame if others, such as yourself, do not appreciate my sense of humor, however I'd be more apologetic if you did not display the same behavior you claim to observe in me.
Shrike 24
Wait, you'd apologize to me because I didn't like your comment, if only I was more polite? You'd apologize because I have a different sense of humor from you? Don't you have a spine, or any kind of backbone? Jesus. Unless you meant you'd apologize to OP instead, in which case you contradicted yourself when you said he'd either brush it off or take the advice and **** him. Holy shit, that makes less sense than bitching about someone doing the same thing that you are, which you just did.
KiddNYC1O 22
48- The thing is that you really aren't able to detect 'joke' or sarcasm in your comment. It just came off as inconsiderate and bitchy, to be honest...
ICastillo 25
Why you guys picking on the walrus?
gracehi 33
52, I meant that I'd apologize to you for offending you if you weren't such a raging (and apparently near illiterate) hypocrite, and also to OP if he expressed hurt. It would not be a display of weakness but of humility, since humble people recognize their mistakes. However, since only a couple of dick heads have expressed offense at my words, I am quite proud of them.
KiddNYC1O 22
This Walrus' tusks are sharp, dude.
ICastillo 25
I see, sorry I intervened carry on with your thread. * walks out*
KiddNYC1O 22
You could've stayed if you were a polar bear.
ICastillo 25
*Walks back in* What about if I was a killer whale?!?
gracehi 33
56, As stated, I did not intend to offend. To reasonable people, and perhaps to OP, who may have been offended by my misconstrued sarcasm, I apologize. To hypocritical ass holes, thumb my comment down and then go cry about it to someone who cares. In the mean time, I will no longer respond to personal attacks on this thread, as I have a life to attend to. I suggest you acquire one yourselves.
gracehi 33
As for you, ICastillo, sadly, we misunderstood walruses have for centuries been the victims of both poaching and misguided criticism. Having no lips and no facial expressions, oratory speech is beyond us, and thus our only means of communication is through text, and even this comes as a great challenge to us due to our lack of fingers. A joking tone or a goofy face is often lost in translation, and so many times some of our "edgier" jibes (we walruses are also notoriously edgy) are often met with unnecessary outrage. Weep not for me, though, dear ICastillo. I, like my walrus forefathers, shall carry on, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity. We walruses, however, do not discriminate against the non-water dwellers. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar, and are welcome on my iceberg any time. I serve lovely crumpets.
gracehi 33
As for you, ICastillo, sadly, we misunderstood walruses have for centuries been the victims of both poaching and misguided criticism. Having no lips and no facial expressions, oratory speech is beyond us, and thus our only means of communication is through text, and even this comes as a great challenge to us due to our lack of fingers. A joking tone or a goofy face is often lost in translation, and so many times some of our "edgier" jibes (we walruses are also notoriously edgy) are often met with unnecessary outrage. Weep not for me, though, dear ICastillo. I, like my walrus forefathers, shall carry on, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity. We walruses, however, do not discriminate against the non-water dwellers. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar, and are welcome on my iceberg any time. I serve lovely crumpets.
unknown_user5566 27
As soon as I saw Shrike's original comment on this thread, I knew it was going to turn into a battle. I should've grabbed some popcorn and watched the magic happen.
jetsown08 21
You know, 21, you're right. FML seems to always hold OP in perhaps a too-positive light. No way, nothing could possibly be wrong with OP, those people are just randomly be jerks? Has it ever dawned to some people that perhaps there is a reason behind why the FML happened? People don't randomly just not want to sit next to you. Yeah, I agree that sucks that they decided to be so rude about it, but you never can know the full story, so it would be unfair to jump to conclusions and call them assholes, right? But I digress. I understand this comment as well as 21s come off as a bit inconsiderate. But hey, sometimes you have to look at things in perspective, because most of the time, there is a rationale behind people's actions.
Chaylbs_Draco 8
I always find it funny how people will come on to a site called "**** my life" and read about people's misfortunes and ill experiences for their own amusement... Yet become offended and defensive when someone makes a comment they don't agree with. Get of your soap box people, we are all here for amusement don't play the righteous hero hahaha...
Krissey_DJ 16
OP is actually quite clean, thank you very much She is just very quiet and doesn't talk much
DocBastard 40
There's obviously some reason for this. A) You smell B) You talk too much C) You're strange D) They are stuck-up twats who couldn't give two ***** about getting to know a perfectly normal guy and are too preoccupied prattling on about the Kardashians and who is on TMZ. I'm going for D.
newbiehere99 6
"D" ...
majorjeneral 0
Why is "E.) all of the above" not an option?
gracehi 33
Yes, E is definitely a possibility. Even if OP were smelly, strange, or overly talkative, it's pretty mean and inconsiderate to make a show of their aversion to him in his presence. The kind and mature thing to do would be to either suck it up and keep it to themselves, or to confront him about it in person, tactfully. A kid I used to work with had the same problem: he smelled like a dumpster in July. I felt bad for him because I thought it must be a manifestation of some personal problem. Some people were cruel to him, but his superiors confronted him about it privately and tactfully. Sadly, though, the situation did not improve and he ended up getting fired.
bestnameright 14
Lol 36 you really thought about it eh?
gracehi 33
46, I'm just saying there may be truth to what Doc said, based on my experience. I don't know OP, though, so I really have no idea if it's the case here.
Krissey_DJ 16
OP is a girl and she is doesn't smell The problem is the fact that she is really quiet and doesn't talk much