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Frittering it away

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 13:59

Today, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, and I just found out he has an OnlyFans, on which I found he messages girls, and talks to one specifically nearly regularly all year. I have no idea how much he's spent on there, but a lot: tips, requests, di** ratings. This is only a small part, and we just got a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 199

By GymnasticsQueen - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 3 377

GymnasticsQueen tells us more.

GymnasticsQueen 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 2:26

Ok, first of all you don't know me so you have no right to criticize me. You don't know how much pain I am in. I twisted my wrist when I fell. I am really good at gymnastics so don't say ANYTHING about that, but now I can't go to practice until my wrist is better. I was putting her present in the passenger seat, I wouldn't get out on the passenger side if I was driving so I had no way to know there was ice there. I'm not rich and neither is the rest of my family. My sister has been wanting these wine glasses since the Christmas of 2008. I couldn't find them anywhere. I have money set aside for gifts and things like that so I don't have to worry about making sure I have enough money; I have been setting money aside like that since I was 16.

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 236

You deserved it 3 796

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 21:43 - France

Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, added her new boyfriend to her friends, and changed her status to, "I'm so happy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 349

You deserved it 6 801

Let people believe what they believe

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 15:00

Today, my wife and I finally got in touch with a therapist to deal with the fact that our daughter resolutely believes in Santa, despite being told by everyone and by common sense that he is made up. Before you make mad comments, be aware she is 17 and has no mental disorders we are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 247

By oxbonxo - 07/02/2011 08:38 - Australia

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 612

You deserved it 6 171

Bankrolled

By Anon - 02/01/2023 12:00

Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 227

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 770

You deserved it 42 282

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 2 736

By poro123 - 05/11/2012 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 4 885

Keeping it real

By mchhhoi - 20/07/2009 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 13 348

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 934

You deserved it 2 158

By UnidentifiedFun - 31/01/2015 18:22 - United States - Troy

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 450

You deserved it 3 173

UnidentifiedFun tells us more.

UnidentifiedFun 37

Sunday 1 February 2015 18:19

Alright, some of you need clarification.. So my friend and I were paddle boarding/kayaking (she had the kayak), and I decided to backfloat in the water for a bit, as it was smooth waters and a relaxing day. But alas, my friend thought it would be hilarious to full-steam ahead into my crotch. Needless to say, it was a painful experience.

Trashed

By rainey - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 727

You deserved it 2 642

She's a keeper

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 04:00

Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 266

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 132

You deserved it 5 739

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 17:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 976

You deserved it 37 637

Too late

By BlueSteele220 - 29/07/2020 17:01

Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 131

By texasrose921 - 26/01/2015 11:29 - United States - Momence

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 2 502

texasrose921 tells us more.

texasrose921 9

Monday 26 January 2015 19:19

Hi, I wrote this FML. Have any of you ever seen an older friend of the family you haven't seen in a while? They've most likely said something like, "Oh, how you've grown!" Or given you a compliment, and then given you a hug or patted you on the head. That's what happened with this guy. He was commenting on a compliment my dad gave me, and decided to pat my face, like a much older uncle would. It wasn't in any weird, predator way. But it was gross. And yes I scrubbed my face with anti-bacterial soap right after.

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 10:32 - United States - Levelland

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 835

You deserved it 2 712

By RadYoHeaD - 04/12/2008 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I went running to the gym on the way to work and I forgot to bring a spare shirt. All I have to wear is a wet white tshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 246

You deserved it 21 770

By bluediva24 - 26/01/2011 00:54

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 4 157

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 406

You deserved it 4 419

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 395

You deserved it 3 460

By Christian - 28/09/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 839

You deserved it 3 570

By computergeek - 26/01/2010 21:25 - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 375

You deserved it 2 448

By divineinstrument - 12/07/2009 14:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 615

You deserved it 58 429

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 955

You deserved it 2 305

Bedtime

By FML Videos - 21/09/2018 00:30

I believe I can fly...

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 70

By hegchog12 - 16/01/2015 02:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 351

You deserved it 2 434

hegchog12 tells us more.

hegchog12 18

Friday 16 January 2015 18:25

What makes this FML worse is that I still live and work in Scotland. I brought it up with my boss, turns out he thinks it's "disrespectful" to put on my "fake" accent after the referendum. I really must look for a another job. I don't want to offend anyone but Im one of the few people in the Scottish highlands that don't speak the "queens English".