By Akwa - 18/11/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom You're just saying that… Today, my mother and I got complimented on how we look alike. She's a German blonde and I was adopted from Vietnam. FML I agree, your life sucks 823 You deserved it 88 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lillian - 25/12/2020 01:58 - United States Are you OK, hun? Today, I walked into a store to buy a type of bread I like. The stuff was sold out, so I asked an employee when they'll be restocking it. The employee yelled at me, because, "They do have that bread," walks to the isle, and then when she saw that they really were out of the bread, she walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 954 You deserved it 105 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LeaveTheGuyAlone - United States - Brooklyn Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML I agree, your life sucks 45362 You deserved it 5072 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/11/2020 02:01 Does this smell bad? Today, I spent a full two minutes doing nothing but sniffing my computer. Don't worry, it was in the living room and my roommate definitely saw me. FML I agree, your life sucks 301 You deserved it 612 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By prin - United States Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML I agree, your life sucks 44475 You deserved it 5782 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Clauric - Ireland Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML I agree, your life sucks 31621 You deserved it 4867 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML I agree, your life sucks 49245 You deserved it 9010 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alii2349 - Canada - Brandon Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML I agree, your life sucks 48363 You deserved it 9986 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By murphslaw - United States Today, as I was doing the morning count for the registers, a lady walked by and saw me. She's got Alzheimer's, and thought I was robbing the guy I'd bought the store from, so she called the cops. I spent six hours in jail while they looked into it, and didn't even get an apology. FML I agree, your life sucks 76144 You deserved it 3109 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soupisyummy - United States Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 31213 You deserved it 4484 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Saphira - United States Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML I agree, your life sucks 38162 You deserved it 8047 412 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whoops.. - United States - Garner Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML I agree, your life sucks 15674 You deserved it 49555 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnSupported - United States - North Kingstown Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML I agree, your life sucks 44927 You deserved it 3885 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/8/2020 02:02 Great speech, thanks! Today, my biologist father had a slide show and speech prepared for my wedding. It started with, “40 years ago, there was a tree here”. I thought this would relate to me or the wedding at some point. 45 minutes later, I had to admit that it didn’t. FML I agree, your life sucks 1590 You deserved it 126 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By layout - United States Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 63775 You deserved it 4046 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By datgurllllukno - United States Food for thought Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML I agree, your life sucks 42118 You deserved it 5940 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotInTheRightPlace - United States - Falls Church Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML I agree, your life sucks 40989 You deserved it 6514 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 34_22_34 - United States Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 39127 You deserved it 4844 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ahsan - Pakistan - Multan Today, I was late for a meeting. The meeting hall door was made of glass, and it said pull, but in my rush, I pushed the door so hard that it shattered into small pieces. FML I agree, your life sucks 1366 You deserved it 739 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pandathepilot Say hello to my plastic friend! Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML I agree, your life sucks 4527 You deserved it 311 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By slitherasssnape - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes Today, in science class, I was bored and playing with a paper towel, dipping it into a container of water. When my teacher caught me and asked what I was doing, I panicked and said I was 'drying the water'. FML I agree, your life sucks 10773 You deserved it 3275 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - United States - Tulare Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 57875 You deserved it 4468 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pisser - United States - Portland Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 51097 You deserved it 5689 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Susan - Ireland Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML I agree, your life sucks 54484 You deserved it 15955 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonyme - France - Mitry-mory Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML I agree, your life sucks 28066 You deserved it 7698 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the guy who sexually assaulted me when I was a child is over to have coffee with my mother. She says that it's OK, because God wouldn't want her to turn away someone who has no family. FML I agree, your life sucks 3898 You deserved it 113 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dab1230 - United States - Binghamton Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML I agree, your life sucks 24689 You deserved it 42468 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML I agree, your life sucks 27813 You deserved it 3225 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 55377 You deserved it 16113 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - United States Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 20562 You deserved it 8374 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML I agree, your life sucks 36930 You deserved it 5687 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 29203 You deserved it 6306 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - United States Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML I agree, your life sucks 34997 You deserved it 3093 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML I agree, your life sucks 38357 You deserved it 12184 277 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By One Angry Vegan Today, marks 2 weeks since I got Oral Allergy Syndrome, a.k.a. randomly becoming allergic to apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, mangos, carrots, celery, beets, sunflower seeds, fennel, my toothpaste, and more things I just haven't tried yet. I'm vegan. FML I agree, your life sucks 4747 You deserved it 2179 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikmak - United States - Charlotte Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML I agree, your life sucks 20469 You deserved it 3088 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scabby - United Kingdom - Manchester Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML I agree, your life sucks 43385 You deserved it 3620 293 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazytortise - United States Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 10513 You deserved it 1634 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML I agree, your life sucks 7083 You deserved it 41166 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nothanks Today, at the healthy age of 26, I broke my hip during sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 16067 You deserved it 1344 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie Given | 23 #7696791 - Friday 21 September 2018 4:59 Looks like krypto(Superman's dog)& an angel had a baby together 😨😏 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7696791 - Friday 21 September 2018 4:59 Looks like krypto(Superman's dog)& an angel had a baby together 😨😏 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 720 You deserved it 51 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 310 6 Comments