Love: Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So,...

By topfisherman - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

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Love

Understandable

Uninvolved

Social media was a mistake

By cantcloselegs - United States

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

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By NeoDepressed - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

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By sober - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

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79260

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By really mature, GRAN - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

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By superman_not - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

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By justdancebbyx3 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

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By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

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By Christine - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

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By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

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By Rhianna - Australia

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

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By ImOverHere - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

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By jacobscrackers - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

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By Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

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32987

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By Anonymous - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

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By YYY

Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML

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1744

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By Megan

Weren't there two girls?

Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML

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2308

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By Ally - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I wrote a song for my boyfriend on paper. The first thing he did was correct my grammar. FML

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21938

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By Courtney - United States

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

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39815

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By lulabell - United States

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

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16214

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By Anonymous - United States - Kansas City

Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML

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By jacie

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

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By Rochelle - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

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By Jenna - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

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By Drew - United States - Newark

Today, at school, I wore a back brace because I have fractured vertebrae. During first period, a girl tapped me on the back to ask me a question. It made a "knocking on wood" sound. She looked at me like I was a freak. FML

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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By Maggie - 17/3/2020 17:00

Nice mental image

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

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1558

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By Anonymous - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

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By b3ardown23 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

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30587

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By Unsatisfied - Canada

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

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29909

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By malicious_melons - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

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By LostSoul

Today, I found out why you never leave wet leather shoes in a van when it's over 90 degrees. FML

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By TheRoad42 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

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46602

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By getting real crafty.. - United States - Sanford

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

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By Sub - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

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40503

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By hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

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By insanitycalling - Canada

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

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By no snow day - United States - Round Lake

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

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By maidmyday - United States

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

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By Kate - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

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Top comments

By taycandy96 | 2

#828448 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

omg....that mustve been akward...I wonder how daddy acted

By slice_of_fried_g | 0

#830567 - Saturday 6 February 2010 16:50

a blaw jab?

COMMENTS

By RushFanatic | 0

#828444 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

LOL! Sucks for you. xD FYL.

jake_fml | 0

#828492 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:16

first reply to first!

jake_fml | 0

#828517 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:23

first reply to first

jake_fml | 0

#828630 - Saturday 6 February 2010 0:04

first reply to first

MBTnauset | 0

#828725 - Saturday 6 February 2010 0:52

"Daddy" probably joined in on the fun... WINcest

ClaraLewy | 0

#828805 - Saturday 6 February 2010 1:16

FYL!!!
He might have wanted to join in!!!

StoryOfTheYear | 13

#829019 - Saturday 6 February 2010 2:45

lol let's hope this isn't his freshman year, or he'll have 4 years of hell

MBTnauset | 0

#829045 - Saturday 6 February 2010 2:55

Let's hope it is his freshman year. if he's a senior the principal could tell every college slander about him as revenge. if he's a fs or sophomore he might forget abt this by then

craigkid | 2

#829223 - Saturday 6 February 2010 4:23

Epic Win!!

Alex373 | 0

#829334 - Saturday 6 February 2010 5:17

MBTnauset is complete win

stewpididiot | 11

#829680 - Saturday 6 February 2010 8:05

hmmm, do ya think he knew where to look ?
maybe she's "been there, done that" hmmmm ???

comedychick | 1

#1100600 - Saturday 17 July 2010 6:58

double time BUSTED!!

Overseer211 | 1

#2413905 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:28

you should've beat him up.

ProfessionalTrol_fml | 14

#4323462 - Wednesday 18 April 2012 22:08

That's like a "FYL" x2 situation

thuminthumz | 5

#5372948 - Monday 18 February 2013 15:44

LOL

By CYNNER | 0

#828445 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

What the fuck

By matt0794 | 1

#828446 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

haha fyl!

Towelie_31 | 0

#828576 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:45

no, we don't know the outcome, so all we can assume is he was just dropping by to make sure they were using a condom.

davidhasmorefun | 0

#829863 - Saturday 6 February 2010 9:48

your pic wins. lol.

By taycandy96 | 2

#828448 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

omg....that mustve been akward...I wonder how daddy acted

XDNurse | 0

#828835 - Saturday 6 February 2010 1:28

omg.... ur not graduating fyl forreal

matrasveer | 1

#829936 - Saturday 6 February 2010 10:29

Another: I was making out/having sex with my girlfriend/boyfriend, and we got caught by (enter title here) which also happened to be his/her/my dad.

FizzyMtDEW | 0

#833912 - Monday 8 February 2010 6:46

wats up wit the /s?? lol. my/her/his dad? tht doesnt make sense. eithr tht or i dont get it Xp

By Jen_J_the_J | 0

#828451 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

first. ouch. was it worth it?? ;)

Freeze_fml | 16

#828494 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:16

Fail.

By thisgirlraven | 0

#828460 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:06

damnnn. FYL !

By gtrevino1281 | 0

#828473 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:08

Holy crap! that sucks !

infiniti_G | 0

#828585 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:47

That's all the more reason to try IMO

By animaniatico | 0

#828476 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:10

FYL, lol expelled

By Shmeaty | 0

#828478 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:10

fyl for being in high school.

ZleveL | 0

#829610 - Saturday 6 February 2010 7:30

ydi for even BEING in school :p jkjk

By jonnymohio | 2

#828497 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:18

Well at least she wasn't giving you a [email protected] [email protected]

ibrett93 | 0

#828511 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:21

Tell him y'all were fixing to practice safe sex. Or just say, "Well, at least your daughter ain't gay!" :)

slice_of_fried_g | 0

#830567 - Saturday 6 February 2010 16:50

a blaw jab?