Love: Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So,...

By topfisherman - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

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14729

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Love

Late term

Age ain't nothing but a number

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - United States - San Ramon

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

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48289

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By Anonymous

Today, my father, who I haven't spoken to in over 12 years, contacted me. He just wanted to let me know that I should get tested for a rare neurological disease. The only thing the man has given to me since my conception is potentially a death certificate. FML

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1871

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By sexaddict - France

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

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13952

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80858

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By TMI - United States

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

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42545

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 05:02

#1 Dad of the day

Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML

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1191

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By Dogsbody

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

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1531

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By embarrassed - United Kingdom

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

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By Brinty - Australia

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

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By ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Careless Whisper

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

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40559

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9926

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By Pissed - United States - Newton Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

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24477

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By Ugh

Today, I got a job offer and was asked to come in at 5am for training. I sat there for about 2 hours before giving up. I was at the wrong site. FML

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2165

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. Im blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55758

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By Scorned

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3729

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318

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By LAXsucks - United States

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

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14914

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By drive thru madness - United States - Amherst

Today, I was working the drive-thru. Everything was going fine until I handed a customer her order and said, "Happy Holidays". Before she drove off, she yelled, "it's Merry Christmas, bitch" and threw her coffee at the window. I'm Jewish and was trying to be polite. FML

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8974

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918

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

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37791

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By Confused - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

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33589

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By MoveOn!

Today, and at every family event, my parents and grandparents go on and on about my ex and how much they miss him and wish I would get back with him. This would be fine, rude, but fine, except that they tell this to my husband. It's been years and we're expecting our first child. FML

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4098

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281

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By laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

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30692

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2643

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By Bee - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

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40839

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Not now, mom!

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

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1166

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153

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By Groomzilla? - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

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35815

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3980

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By LetMeOut - United States - Richmond

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

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50878

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By Porche - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

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24483

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By leogs23 - 2/3/2021 20:01

Force of habit, or just mean?

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

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828

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By Ella - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

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22359

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By MrsCasillas - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML

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35392

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

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24777

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By Saraitkddh

Today, my friend told me that my brother sent her a picture of his dick. How did she tell me this? By sending me the picture. FML

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3306

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By LonelyHeart - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

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39622

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By PillPopperApparently

Today, after constantly shaming me for my ADHD and anti-anxiety pills, my family finally convinced me to drop $250 on their trusted psychiatrist friend because they thought he’d talk me out of taking them. He recommended higher doses of everything. FML

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2561

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 11:01

Bad day?

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

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850

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246

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By HereWeGoAgain

Romance in Appalachia

Today, my mother beamingly asked for my opinion on her wedding dress. She is engaged to her cousin. Conveniently, they already have the same last name. FML

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4054

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By Alana - Australia

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

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27623

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By Misspoopypants

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

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5164

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45843

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By northernlass - United States

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

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13339

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By coldwetnose - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

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47074

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By :( - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40594

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4805

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By EmoToyBoy

Spiritual connection

Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML

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Top comments

By taycandy96 | 2

#828448 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

omg....that mustve been akward...I wonder how daddy acted

By slice_of_fried_g | 0

#830567 - Saturday 6 February 2010 16:50

a blaw jab?

COMMENTS

By RushFanatic | 0

#828444 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

LOL! Sucks for you. xD FYL.

jake_fml | 0

#828492 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:16

first reply to first!

jake_fml | 0

#828517 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:23

first reply to first

jake_fml | 0

#828630 - Saturday 6 February 2010 0:04

first reply to first

MBTnauset | 0

#828725 - Saturday 6 February 2010 0:52

"Daddy" probably joined in on the fun... WINcest

ClaraLewy | 0

#828805 - Saturday 6 February 2010 1:16

FYL!!!
He might have wanted to join in!!!

StoryOfTheYear | 13

#829019 - Saturday 6 February 2010 2:45

lol let's hope this isn't his freshman year, or he'll have 4 years of hell

MBTnauset | 0

#829045 - Saturday 6 February 2010 2:55

Let's hope it is his freshman year. if he's a senior the principal could tell every college slander about him as revenge. if he's a fs or sophomore he might forget abt this by then

craigkid | 2

#829223 - Saturday 6 February 2010 4:23

Epic Win!!

Alex373 | 0

#829334 - Saturday 6 February 2010 5:17

MBTnauset is complete win

stewpididiot | 11

#829680 - Saturday 6 February 2010 8:05

hmmm, do ya think he knew where to look ?
maybe she's "been there, done that" hmmmm ???

comedychick | 1

#1100600 - Saturday 17 July 2010 6:58

double time BUSTED!!

Overseer211 | 1

#2413905 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:28

you should've beat him up.

ProfessionalTrol_fml | 14

#4323462 - Wednesday 18 April 2012 22:08

That's like a "FYL" x2 situation

thuminthumz | 5

#5372948 - Monday 18 February 2013 15:44

LOL

By CYNNER | 0

#828445 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

What the fuck

By matt0794 | 1

#828446 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:04

haha fyl!

Towelie_31 | 0

#828576 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:45

no, we don't know the outcome, so all we can assume is he was just dropping by to make sure they were using a condom.

davidhasmorefun | 0

#829863 - Saturday 6 February 2010 9:48

your pic wins. lol.

By taycandy96 | 2

#828448 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

omg....that mustve been akward...I wonder how daddy acted

XDNurse | 0

#828835 - Saturday 6 February 2010 1:28

omg.... ur not graduating fyl forreal

matrasveer | 1

#829936 - Saturday 6 February 2010 10:29

Another: I was making out/having sex with my girlfriend/boyfriend, and we got caught by (enter title here) which also happened to be his/her/my dad.

FizzyMtDEW | 0

#833912 - Monday 8 February 2010 6:46

wats up wit the /s?? lol. my/her/his dad? tht doesnt make sense. eithr tht or i dont get it Xp

By Jen_J_the_J | 0

#828451 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:05

first. ouch. was it worth it?? ;)

Freeze_fml | 16

#828494 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:16

Fail.

By thisgirlraven | 0

#828460 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:06

damnnn. FYL !

By gtrevino1281 | 0

#828473 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:08

Holy crap! that sucks !

infiniti_G | 0

#828585 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:47

That's all the more reason to try IMO

By animaniatico | 0

#828476 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:10

FYL, lol expelled

By Shmeaty | 0

#828478 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:10

fyl for being in high school.

ZleveL | 0

#829610 - Saturday 6 February 2010 7:30

ydi for even BEING in school :p jkjk

By jonnymohio | 2

#828497 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:18

Well at least she wasn't giving you a [email protected] [email protected]

ibrett93 | 0

#828511 - Friday 5 February 2010 23:21

Tell him y'all were fixing to practice safe sex. Or just say, "Well, at least your daughter ain't gay!" :)

slice_of_fried_g | 0

#830567 - Saturday 6 February 2010 16:50

a blaw jab?