Miscellaneous: Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless... - FML

By divineinstrument - United Kingdom

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

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Rock, hard place

Can't handle it

Stealth bomb

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

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By Che_likes_you - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

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By thewrittenrebel - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Springfield

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

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By HR nightmare - United States - Glendale

Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for work anymore. He said no and went crazy. HR and the police are now involved. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

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By larsn - United States - San Antonio

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

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By ouch - Mexico

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

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By Michelle - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

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By nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Chester

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

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By Denki - China - Beijing

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

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By VoodooPriestess - 28/11/2020 14:02

What a catch

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years responded to my opening up about how I felt like I was always put on the back burner, was to ghost me for a week, and break up via text. Don't worry though, we can still be friends and maybe later, when he's ready, start the relationship again. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/2/2021 11:01 - United States - New Haven

Yeah, some "nice guy"…

Today, I tried to tell a girl that I had watched her Purdue boyfriend flirt around at every frat party. She thinks I'm lying and blocked me. Now all my friends are angry at me because he was a "nice guy" and she "didn't need to know." FML

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By pussy - Italy

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

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By maniac11 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Paul

High Times

Today, I got hit by a car while I was on the phone. I was sat at a bus stop. The driver was high and lost focus lighting another blunt. My family and some friends are mad that I'm pressing charges and making weed look bad in the media. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

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By seriously? - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

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By "schober60" - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I frantically finished a paper that I needed to complete before midnight about the competencies of my pharmacy school. When it came time to submit, I accidentally selected the file below my paper, which was my personal log of beer reviews and personal favorites. FML

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By YYY

Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

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By NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

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By haileyjunkin

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

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By quick blow - United States

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

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By yeahno - United States

Today, I wore my high school letterman jacket while I was out shopping. A man saw me and muttered to his wife about how sad it is some adults can't grow up and continue to wear their high school paraphernalia, constantly trying to relive their senior year. I am a senior. FML

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By Andrew - United States - Monroe

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

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By Professional_Ars

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gurnee

Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Family Ties

Today, I found out via Facebook that my older sister just had another baby, a whole week ago, whose name is my middle name. No one told me. I didn't even know she was pregnant. FML

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By BunniesOnAcid - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

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By GidleyWife - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

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By Airhead - Canada

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

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By StupidNurse - Germany

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

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By Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

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By Danou - France

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

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By MerryChristmas - United States - Moore

Today, I went to a Christmas-themed amusement park with my 21-year-old autistic sister who adores Christmas. She took her picture with Santa and started crying happy tears. Then Santa asked her loudly, "Aren't you beyond old enough to know I'm not real?" Vacation ruined. FML

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By enderw - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

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Top comments

By ChefFrenchie | 0

#390714 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:23

ummmm really if you know enough about computers to spend "hours and hours" trying to figure out why the wireless internet isn't working then you should know enough to check if it's on or off. Isn't that fairly easy to discover? I mean, I have a MacBook and it shows right at the top of the screen if my wireless is on or off. I'm sorry but this has to be a YDI for a total "here's your sign" moment

By gavintlgold | 0

#390726 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:25

Well, windows is pretty unclear and if the guy was used to using a desktop where there's no switch he could be pretty confused.

I remember it took me a while to figure out about the wireless switch in the first laptop I had with one.

COMMENTS

By ChefFrenchie | 0

#390714 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:23

ummmm really if you know enough about computers to spend "hours and hours" trying to figure out why the wireless internet isn't working then you should know enough to check if it's on or off. Isn't that fairly easy to discover? I mean, I have a MacBook and it shows right at the top of the screen if my wireless is on or off. I'm sorry but this has to be a YDI for a total "here's your sign" moment

Reply

lexilovesyou | 0

#390885 - Sunday 12 July 2009 21:28

Samee!
Just yesterday I had the same problem and I called my boyfriend & he came over and fixed it haha!(:
I felt like a complete idiot Lol

Reply

AnaMaree | 0

#391327 - Monday 13 July 2009 2:10

Blonde moments happen to everyone.

Reply

bskballa92 | 0

#391866 - Monday 13 July 2009 6:30

lexilovesyou, let's reply to the first one to get our comment read....

Reply

iBimmer | 0

#392768 - Monday 13 July 2009 16:52

YDI for using a PC.

And all, yes it's a PC, Macs don't have a stupid wireless switch.

Let the negative voting begin.

Reply

AMOCH | 0

#395376 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 14:50

Win. Pure win. I registered because of your amazing comment.
Macs FTW

Reply

OliviaNicole | 5

#968942 - Saturday 27 March 2010 4:26

I agree with te above, the reason this sucks is because your using a PC, not because your blonde.

Reply

Theatregeek788 | 0

#1006300 - Tuesday 25 May 2010 3:03

OP is a dumbass

Reply

CryosFear | 14

#6030327 - Thursday 7 August 2014 16:37

Macs are pretty inferior to PCs for anything other than art

By smileygirl123 | 0

#390717 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:23

ur soo stupid hahahahaha its ok though hahah

:)

By wolfgirl_fml | 0

#390720 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:26

Don't feel bad, I had the same thing happen to me the other day.

Reply

cuttie_babe | 0

#392149 - Monday 13 July 2009 10:17

Me too! Once I figured out what had happened I felt like the biggest idiot on the world!

By sevenoh | 0

#390724 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:26

Fail.

By gavintlgold | 0

#390726 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:25

Well, windows is pretty unclear and if the guy was used to using a desktop where there's no switch he could be pretty confused.

I remember it took me a while to figure out about the wireless switch in the first laptop I had with one.

By vvvalori | 0

#390736 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:27

way to go. At least your brother wasn't under 10...that would just be sad.
YDI, tech-master

By parabola | 0

#390739 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:30

that happened to me loads - im 16

By master565 | 0

#390749 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:32

so many FML about retards

By master565 | 0

#390755 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:34

ugh so many FMLs about retards :(

By gracie27 | 0

#390773 - Sunday 12 July 2009 20:39

Its ok, i did this the first time it happened it me, it took 3 people to figure it out. you will know for next time though

Reply

girandwogpig | 0

#391307 - Monday 13 July 2009 2:02

....says the person who doesn't know how to spell "retarded"

Better yet, says the person who is making fun of someone with a mental illness they can't help

You sir, are "retarted"