Too late - FML

Too late

By BlueSteele220 - 29/07/2020 17:01

Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 125

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Isoneedtomove - 09/11/2018 16:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 841

You deserved it 175

Porch piracy

By Denofthieves - 16/09/2022 16:00

Today, I received a text saying that a package had just been delivered to the house. By the time I reached the front door, it had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 01:30

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 265

The nerve!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 20:01

Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 83

By ivegotapackage - 05/01/2015 23:47 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 764

You deserved it 2 086

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 145

By kirstiexoxo - 07/02/2012 08:11 - United States

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M&M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 557

You deserved it 4 030

Rare W

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out one of the neighborhood kids has been stealing from my mailbox. Several packages marked "delivered" had gone missing over the last few months, so I set up a trail cam in the yard. I notified the USPS and the police; they confronted him at his house. He's been reselling everything I ordered on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 87

By Dumbass - 20/06/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 692

You deserved it 3 742

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 03:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 020

You deserved it 1 992

Next

Top comments

jkjorn 16

Wednesday 29 July 2020 17:46

That's "Gift of the Magi" - level irony right there.

Robert Cruikshank 7

Thursday 30 July 2020 1:35

Install a lockable box next to your door. Have two chambers. This way the mailman can use one, and UPS can use the other. Just have a message and locks available for the delivery person to use.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 29 July 2020 17:07

Maybe you should shop-lift a video doorbell to even things out. Then you can install it and prevent crime going forward. At least you'll be even-Steven.

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 30 July 2020 2:12

There is only one thief. Everyone else is just trying to get there shit back!

jkjorn 16

Wednesday 29 July 2020 17:46

That's "Gift of the Magi" - level irony right there.

Robert Cruikshank 7

Thursday 30 July 2020 1:35

Install a lockable box next to your door. Have two chambers. This way the mailman can use one, and UPS can use the other. Just have a message and locks available for the delivery person to use.

Mortimer14 9

Friday 31 July 2020 14:45

A video doorbell doesn't "prevent" anything. All it does is take pretty pictures so the police can track down the asshats that are stealing packages. Make it not worth stealing and then maybe they will stop. Used cat litter makes an unholy mess when someone opens a box full of it. Similarly with used dog food (buy "used" I mean it's already been through a dog). Quit shopping online, make sure someone is home to receive those packages, or install a lockable box for the delivery company to use so the packages cannot be stolen.

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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

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You deserved it 2 157

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

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The Top

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

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You deserved it 70 969

Today, for the 2nd time in a month, I've been rear-ended at a stop light. One insurance company refuses to pay because of prior damage from the 1st accident, and the other won't pay because of new damage not caused by their client. I just want my car back. FML

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You deserved it 203

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

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You deserved it 5 603

Today, I accidentally revealed to a close friend that I have a stash of furry porn. FML

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You deserved it 590

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

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You deserved it 5 799

Today, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, and I just found out he has an OnlyFans, on which I found he messages girls, and talks to one specifically nearly regularly all year. I have no idea how much he's spent on there, but a lot: tips, requests, di** ratings. This is only a small part, and we just got a house. FML

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You deserved it 182