By texasrose921 - 26/01/2015 11:29 - United States - Momence

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 574
You deserved it 2 499

texasrose921 tells us more.

texasrose921 9

Hi, I wrote this FML. Have any of you ever seen an older friend of the family you haven't seen in a while? They've most likely said something like, "Oh, how you've grown!" Or given you a compliment, and then given you a hug or patted you on the head. That's what happened with this guy. He was commenting on a compliment my dad gave me, and decided to pat my face, like a much older uncle would. It wasn't in any weird, predator way. But it was gross. And yes I scrubbed my face with anti-bacterial soap right after.

Top comments


Sharing is caring! (I've never been tempted to wipe my face with hand sanitizer but under such circumstances...)

How about if the OP just squirts that same sanitizer in the guy's hands and says, "Here, have some hand lotion." If he calls her out that it's not actual lotion, act like you must have gotten the bottles mixed up. Better than him contaminating everything he touches in her house, right?

Do you normally randomly squirt lotion into other people's hands? That's a fairly strange habit..

Normally? No. Would I in this situation? You better believe I would!

He probably did not wipe, not as bad as it could have been.

jbombdighetty 11

Seeing as OP could hear everything he was doing in the bathroom, lotion is the last thing I'd give him.

Oh god i'm so sorry, thats horrendous! Hope you took a looooong shower after ...

hugozac88 22

Dude what the heck?! I would have told him to go back and wash his hands

Biznu 4

I'm not even sure how to respond to this one...

Because no one likes redundant commentary.

ChristianH39 30

Because if you have nothing to say, the smart thing to do is say nothing.

Did you wash your face after? Hope it's yes.

bluebluhblou 15

also use chlorine and drink some for good measure. you know, better safe than sorry.

pwnman 33

Sounds like a shitty situation. I would crap in my pants if this happened to me!

badluckalex 23

why did you let him touch you at all!?

OP was probably a little shocked and caught off-guard that by the time he realized what happened it was already too late.

OP probably wouldn't be able to do much, but rub his face look his dads friend in the face and say I know what you did!!!

I would scrub my face with soap until I couldn't feel it anymore.

While I agree it's gross not to wash your hands after using the restroom, I think everyone's comments are a little extreme. It's not like he touched inside the toilet bowl. OP doesn't need to jump off a bridge or grow new face skin or anything drastic like that. Unless he did touch inside the toilet bowl. Then you can definitely go jump off that bridge.

#48 Everyone is freaking out because we are under the assumption that the dude wiped himself after the dump - except he didn't wash his hands. So he had shitty hands and then touched OP's face, which is disgusting.

You should come out of the bathroom with Nutella on your hand and pat him on the face with it

AngryRabbit 2
angelk19 22

You need to get some faster reflexes lol. I would have slapped that hand away too quick!!