Top

Top of the day Top of the week Top of the month Top of the year Top all time

By AwkwardPotato - 02/07/2013 02:37 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

agreeclassic 43 945

vote type 1 3 762

By mylifesucks - 02/12/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

agreeclassic 37 498

vote type 1 4 974

By MissBeEyeTeeSeeH - 08/11/2009 11:46 - Canada

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

agreeclassic 35 659

vote type 1 4 445

By TheVengefulGeek - 13/09/2015 21:28 - Canada - Hanmer

Today, I got excited about finishing up my laundry detergent and softener, because I could get new ones. FML

agreeclassic 22 480

vote type 1 3 486

WretchedOnyx app_comment_confession_title

WretchedOnyx 29

Monday 14 September 2015 15:01

OP here. Can't believe this actually got published. Insight time: we've been stuck in the little-to-no-money rut for a about a year now. The detergent we had smelled like hospitals and that weird plastic-y smell you get hit with at the dentist's office. We finally have enough money to get the stuff that has an actual scent instead of whatever "clean breeze" is supposed to be, so it's a small victory that is actually quite symbolic to us. Your comments had me laughing. A lot of you are right; enjoy the little things. You tend to miss out if you overlook them :)

By Faaccckkk - 25/03/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

agreeclassic 41 993

vote type 1 3 342

Not like that

By weirdo - 21/02/2010 08:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

agreeclassic 26 339

vote type 1 5 048

By CzechMeOut - 04/08/2009 13:19 - United Kingdom

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

agreeclassic 41 432

vote type 1 3 664

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 17:04 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

agreeclassic 19 616

vote type 1 2 684

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

agreeclassic 21 075

vote type 1 1 930

By lectro - 24/11/2008 06:08 - France

Today, I learnt that the girl with whom I've being going out for 6 months has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

agreeclassic 43 578

vote type 1 3 795

By Judgeisalwaysright - 01/03/2016 08:57 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

agreeclassic 11 718

vote type 1 21 056

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

agreeclassic 40 415

vote type 1 8 543

By j4 - 19/12/2014 23:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

agreeclassic 37 620

vote type 1 2 964

By JK2010 - 11/01/2010 18:12 - Israel

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

agreeclassic 39 447

vote type 1 3 240

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

agreeclassic 21 818

vote type 1 1 568

Don't push your luck

By go choke on a gonad - 08/08/2013 13:13 - United States - Dayton

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

agreeclassic 45 304

vote type 1 5 594

Take what you can

By omglifee - 20/12/2009 04:13 - Canada

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

agreeclassic 23 930

vote type 1 4 134

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 30 578

vote type 1 5 195

By KKimrae_ness - 28/05/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

agreeclassic 15 473

vote type 1 47 314

By Ryuun12 - 03/10/2014 03:20 - United States - Morgan Hill

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

agreeclassic 34 484

vote type 1 8 809

Ryuun12 app_comment_confession_title

Ryuun12 4

Saturday 4 October 2014 4:57

Lol. I'm not overweight. I just have meaty thighs. Yet my calves are... veryyy skinny. I do have me some moobs though! Lol. And a bit of a belly. I was trying to be funny not complain about being fat, lol. But its not really that obvious. But you know. Always appreciate these nice comments. (Hint thats sarcasm. Besides the few that were nice.

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

agreeclassic 15 736

vote type 1 32 237

By newswithabitofbite - 28/08/2014 10:31 - Australia - Richmond

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

agreeclassic 39 877

vote type 1 3 232

By gracehi - 10/09/2015 17:45 - United States - San Diego

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

agreeclassic 25 681

vote type 1 4 587

gracehi app_comment_confession_title

gracehi 31

Friday 11 September 2015 5:01

YES? I was waiting for someone to say that! I'm guessing you and I are in the same boat. But who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both be second classes in a few months.