Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 114 You deserved it 10 823
Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 671 You deserved it 422
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 193 You deserved it 2 589
Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 423 You deserved it 6 310
Today, I looked in my voicemails on my phone. I recently got a message saying that I got the job, which was very exciting because it's my first job. Too bad it was sent 2 weeks ago and I just got it because I upgraded my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 657 You deserved it 2 131
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 231 You deserved it 7 473
Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 456 You deserved it 13 792
Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 963 You deserved it 3 373