Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle....

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 584

You deserved it 21 161

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 961

You deserved it 43 590

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 783

You deserved it 3 286

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 653

You deserved it 5 548

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 488

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 825

You deserved it 6 815

By sunshine - 29/06/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 901

You deserved it 938

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 621

You deserved it 845

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 2 980

By Scarred Nephew - 10/05/2016 22:28 - United States - Allen

Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 837

You deserved it 1 406

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 076

You deserved it 54 997

Lomus 24

Monday 29 July 2013 22:56

Probably should have just said hi like a normal person.

MissMustard 20

Monday 29 July 2013 23:32

In the chap's defence, she did pounce on him and invade his personal space first!

Comments

AlwayzCelly 13

Monday 29 July 2013 22:52

Not sure who has it worse in this situation

sammyprosnit 8

Monday 29 July 2013 23:05

or maybe he was your uncle o.O

buckeyed 20

Monday 29 July 2013 23:07

you kidding? she probably made non-uncle's day!

MissMustard 20

Monday 29 July 2013 23:32

In the chap's defence, she did pounce on him and invade his personal space first!

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Tuesday 30 July 2013 0:19

I agree with #31. It was a mistake but you did "throw yourself" at the stranger.

salazara 10

Tuesday 30 July 2013 0:47

Always look before you act..........these wise words should be taken seriously.

arleenxo 11

Monday 29 July 2013 22:53

Awkward.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Monday 29 July 2013 23:13

More than just awkward, it was flat out un-cool.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Monday 29 July 2013 23:57

I could see how it's awkward since it was some random dude and all. Butt her jumping on him kinda provoked it. I always get my ass grabbed and slapped at concerts. As long as its a cute girl, and not some guy going after my wallet I don't mind. Asses should be grabbed as long as both participants are ok with it, and it's not some random person ass grabbing everything in sight.

Uramonkey 11

Friday 2 August 2013 23:59

OP should have yelled Uncle!

Zeishah 26

Monday 29 July 2013 22:54

that will teach you to mistake random strangers for relatives

buckeyed 20

Monday 29 July 2013 23:08

i don't believe it was intentional...

tranced_ 45

Monday 29 July 2013 23:19

you don't say?

MateRicks 18

Monday 29 July 2013 22:55

Hello psychotherapy it's good to finally meet you

Baytheshark 14

Tuesday 30 July 2013 0:38

What the- If you need therapy of any kind after this, you probably have some other crap to deal with. This is one of those, 'oh shit!' moments where you simply run off and hope to never see the person again.

MateRicks 18

Tuesday 30 July 2013 0:48

Yeah I wasn't being serious

Lomus 24

Monday 29 July 2013 22:56

Probably should have just said hi like a normal person.

Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16

Monday 29 July 2013 23:14

I agree. People mistakenly say hi to the wrong person all the time, and it's awkward as hell. But a hi to a stranger is a helluva lot better than surprise hugs and even more surprising ass grabs.