Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML
Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML
Today, I watched Gigli. FML
Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great-gusteau
beaverteaser 16
living the whole apple a day ?
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Comments (75)
Askzombie 14
Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great-gusteau
Gingerette 8
Surprisingly, Gusteau gave me better life advice than most of the people I looked up to as a kid.
ManicGypsy 22
Ramen noodles are like 20 cents a pack at Walmart.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wouldn't compare! Ramen noodles aren't very good in my opinion.
karlcolt45 19
exactly! I really hate ramen
DrippingSarcasm 20
But you see, they're not making ramen in Ratatouille.
laurenasabutton 26
OP lives in the UK, where there is no Walmart.
ThatPlankton 15
There actually are Walmarts in the UK, they just never changed the name of the company they own there.
Zebediabolical 45
And there's definitely still cheap ramen and sriracha.
Ukeee_X 19
ASDA is from the place you're looking for :)
bubblyhayley 16
why is she thumbed down... ASDA is the uk version of walmart... but no way can you get 20p noodles from there...
RedPillSucks 33
Well. Apples are more nutritious than ramin...
tukies 28
Ramen may suck ass, but if OP has only had an apple a day it's somewhere to start. It has a lot of sodium. I wouldn't eat it all the time, but come on. Flip that sofa up find loose change, and eat something.
davidislost 11
ASDA Smartprice :')! I once tried their 9p noodles - disgusting!
happyfingers 15
I add spices and stuff to my ramen. Helps a lot. I make some awesome ramen. Except chicken. I still don't like chicken ramen. Beef or shrimp for me. But maybe it depends on the seasoning. *shrug*
straww_fml 13
There are plenty of things cheaper and better than apples. Carrots, onions, water, spices and salt makes a soup that can keep you going for far longer than any apple, and at about the same price per portion if not less. Add some rice (or ramen, or cheese) and you've got several full meals. ... Or you can hunt for mice and small birds, as I do and stay as fit as an owl! Is that not a saying amongst you humans?
beaverteaser 16
living the whole apple a day ?
Madster15 14
there's probably no doctors on campus.
iLike2Teabag 27
So I guess the janitors are teaching the med school classes and the rats are profs in all the other subjects then? No doctors my ass...
EdenCrystal 21
#24, well, an apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
askullnamedbilly 33
Bit of your own fault, isn't it? I've no idea where in the UK you live, but I can nevertheless guarantee that your city has some kind of charitable organisation giving out food to people who cannot afford it otherwise.
Ihavegas 22
plenty of food banks around. But then again if you have internet and no food there is something wrong.
Coeliacchic93 21
foodbanks are very helpful. not only do they give you about 3 days emergency food (that can last longer with the stuff they give you) they can give you advice on how to get up on your feet :-)
laurenasabutton 26
9, most halls of residence provide internet access as part of your rent, so it makes sense OP would have internet but no food.
snydeeli000 27
I'm wondering if OP has an eating disorder..?
snydeeli000 27
Oh sorry, I just reread it, oops.
Trickiest_K 9
Anyone can cook !
B1ackthesun 31
If they have food to cook to begin with maybe. Doubt op is a 'starving student' by choice.
SammyS2012 21
the downvotes are from people who's never watched Ratatouille, Im guessing?
teyyoshi 19
I didn't watch
nnnope 26
cool story bro
beckiebear 15
I wasn't a starved student when I watched that movie, but it still made me hungry!
Oppression_fml 19
I don't understand why people impoverish themselves for a peice of paper that can only be used as toilet paper. Start am not easy job, climb your way up to the ladder like a champ, and and then you can consider going to college or university...
syki 22
It's not the 1930s. To even get those jobs--any job with significant upward movement--you generally need some sort of post secondary degree.
laurenasabutton 26
A lot of those jobs require a degree to get in to. Also, most field specific jobs won't look at you without a degree. Like medicine for example.
gracehi 33
I don't know what it's like in the UK, but in the US a lot of people with degrees are either unemployed or under-employed and not working in the field in which they have their degree. My boyfriend and my sister both have degrees and I don't, but I make more money than both of them put together. But I joined the Navy and they have degrees in computer animation. But it seems to me that these days, unless you get a degree in something like engineering, you're better off going to a trade school or starting an entry level job at a restaurant or department store or some manual labor job and working your way up into management than going to a university.
Kolzard 3
Try watching 'Harold & Kumar go to Whitecastle'... Gives serious munchie madness...
kmartFTW 12
And some nice Boobage
buttcramp 21
if your that broke, sell whatever device you used to watch the movie (or post this) on.
Posthuman 26
"you're". And maybe she watched it with a friend who doesn't want to be a kind individual and feed her. Or maybe they're both broke as hell and watch food movies together. Soon they might come to their senses and eat each other. Mmmm human.
Merylwen 24
Students need computers and internet access to work.
buttcramp 21
my bad! I'm usually not so careless with the obvious spelling/grammar.. smh. you guys are right though I was quick to judge. I also know what its like to be hungry in college but I was trying to offer a solution. I suppose it wasn't a good one lol