By WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! - 09/08/2013 22:13 - United States

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 417
You deserved it 3 706

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I have a friend who thinks she's a vampire. She said "believe it or not, we actually sparkle" I almost died laughing.


I know right, werewolves don't exist, us werecats made them extinct. You're welcome :)

CaiDog 20

Still a better love story than twilight.

SnuWolf 15

Oh god. This is the exact same guy at my high school. He's a total douche, and, because I'm a fan of the supernatural world, (And u was trying to help him out) tried to explain to him that he can't go around exposing the rest of us. (Yes, I decided to play along and claim to be a were snow leopard) He dared me to transform in front of the whole cafeteria, and when I tried to tell him you can't do it in public, he actually tried to do it himself, attempting to "cure his virus." It was hilarious because he looked like he was trying to go Super Saiyan, and had to be taken home because everyone thought he was having an emotional breakdown. I actually feel really bad for the guy.

You read an FML about a kid who thinks he's a werewolf but can't turn into one due to a rare disease and thinks he has been rejected due to "friend-zoning bitches".

lightanddark 17

the question was rhetorical I think

nurchok 15

#9, +1 on that. I was literally just going to say the exact same thing :)

I think the +1 was unnecessary, you could have just thumbed him up.

Hey maybe he wanted to state that he was about to say the exact same thing, people can share their opinions. And OP don't worry he was probably just desperate and asked everyone already, you just happened to be saved as the best for last.

I have a friend who thinks she's a vampire. She said "believe it or not, we actually sparkle" I almost died laughing.

Eh, no one has the right to completely hate anyone. We all have our quirks, and although they can piss people off, they are inevitable. And some people actually DO, LEGITELY, enjoy twilight. Crazy, I know.

Yeah, I get what you're saying, 21, and I totally agree, but those people should be locked up in a mental hospital for their own good and for the protection of the general public. The Twilight fans, that is.

At #21, I like to scream "contamination!", when I hear poisonous words like those that end in "ism" or sentences containing the word Twilight or references to the plot of said movie.

I don't hate her, like i said "i have a friend who..." She's still a good person at heart.

there's a lot of kids in my school who this they're vampires it's really weird.-.

This reminds me of step brothers when the dad has to explain how he used to think he was a dinosaur.

as strange as this is, I have 4 friends, 3 "vampires" and a "werewolf" I think my city is full of crazies

#21: According to the rules of the Internet, I have to downvote you for the word "LEGITELY". "LEGITIMATELY" was the word you wanted, but since I'm a sporting fellow, I also would have accepted "LEGITLY". Better luck next time. Grammar matters! (TM)

Hopefully she doesn't drink blood if she thinks she's a vampire... only then should she go to a mental facility.

Sorry OP. I'm sure other guys pant over you and you just don't know it. ;D

assassinbanana0 20

I hate when people use the "friend zone" excuse everytime they get rejected. Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they're a friend-zoning dick/bitch I feel sorry for you, OP. you have my condolences

UnluckyGenius 21

Thank you, so many people I know have called me a douche because I tell those who claim to be "friend-zoned" no spine sissies.

it is definitely a friend zone if they say the words "like a brother"

#43, girls aren't just vending machines where you put kindness coins in until sex pops out.

Emily062611 6

I don't get the "friend zone". You have people you like as friends but aren't interested in romantically (maybe you don't want to risk the friendship) and then you have people you are interested in. I don't really see how this is a problem. Though this guy doesn't even seem to be a friend...

assassinbanana0 20

Not at all, #43. If she sees someone as a brother, that isn't friend zoning. Just because you like her, doesn't mean she has to like you the same way. If she sees you as a brother, you're like a protector to her. She sees you as family. Sometimes, that means more than being in a relationship. Don't bring people down by calling them friend zoners just because they don't like you the way you do. That isn't fair at all to them

SystemofaBlink41 27

I wouldn't call all of them "no spine sissies", but *insulting* someone because they friend zone you is pretty spineless...

THANK YOU. Being friendzone'd doesn't exist. It's called unrequited love.

not sure what to make of this.. i would stay stay away. stay very far away.

When I was in high school, I had a temporary lapse in judgement and was convinced that I was a vampire. It happens. Let him go through whatever he's going through.

What were you expecting from a kid like that, the teen wolf?

Why would this even bother anyone. Who cares what this weirdo thinks. Let him live in his world and you live in yours.