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By TheHatedOne - 21/06/2009 07:26 - Qatar

Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 974

You deserved it 53 977

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 896

You deserved it 6 325

By ceciliebossow - 07/10/2015 01:26 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 001

You deserved it 11 971

ceciliebossow tells us more.

ceciliebossow 26

Wednesday 7 October 2015 17:45

OP here! Wow! I didn't really expect this to be posted, but cool that it did! I thought I might explain myself a little (although it does not make this less stupid). This actually occurred a few months ago on a final exam that was marked by an outside examiner. Thankfully the final grade also took another exam and an assignment into account, so I still got the final grade that I had expected (and actually completing the question is unlikely to have improved the grade). Before the exam started, we had five minutes to read through the questions, and I only got to read until question 9, so when completing the questions afterwards, I completely forgot to check the backside of the examination booklet (where question 10 was located). I know it was my own fault, but I am always really nervous - almost panick-y - when it comes to exams. I felt absolutely terrible afterwards, when I realised my mistake, but there was not much to do, as the exam was over by then. Thankfully it all turned out alright anyway. Thank you for all your feedback! I have been reading through all the comments and I appreciate what you have to say - even when you say "YDI", because I know I do. It was not very clever of me ;-)

Mostly OK

By hatemyboss - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Alameda

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 6 954

Panic in the streets

By Insane Guy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 633

You deserved it 8 071

The Soprano

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 787

You deserved it 12 253

By Moondoggie_ggk69 - 23/01/2010 17:53 - United States

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 540

You deserved it 2 910

By fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz - 05/09/2013 16:39 - Sweden - Solna

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 547

You deserved it 5 066

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 111

You deserved it 2 885

Uncertainty

By pat - 21/05/2009 13:06 - United States

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 857

You deserved it 3 646

Close, but no cigar

By RIPcareer - 18/10/2015 19:18 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 072

You deserved it 7 990

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 388

You deserved it 3 677

Go deep

By Anonymous - 28/03/2013 20:56 - France - Sainte-savine

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 234

You deserved it 17 061

By izerz - 26/03/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said "Wow, who drinks this?" Her reply was "Why don't you tell me? I found it in your room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 408

You deserved it 77 410

izerz tells us more.

izerz 0

Friday 27 March 2009 4:12

OKAY just to clarify some things.. because i am the one who posted this... i am 18 ... im a GIRL... and yes it was mine... i had left it in a bag months ago and when my mom was taking my laundry found it... and peach vodka? its actually quite good if you mix it with the right things.. esp cran juice, orange juice, and redbull.. i know its a lot.. but being a girl.. i dont really like hard liquor.. just the effects of it lol

By Adalia - 03/10/2009 15:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 802

You deserved it 39 441

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 16:45

Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 371

You deserved it 1 112

By DEATHBYEX1LE - 04/03/2013 05:01 - Australia

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 396

You deserved it 48 367

DEATHBYEX1LE tells us more.

DEATHBYEX1LE 11

Monday 4 March 2013 21:59

I know the difference, I just made a simple mistake....

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 3 863

No free lunch

By ParkingGuy - 15/08/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, while working as a parking booth attendant, I decided to be nice and give a woman free parking. I said, "Give me a high five and I'll give you free parking, since I already did the paperwork." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 653

You deserved it 8 576

Perfect timing

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 20:18 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered, "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you!" He broke up with me on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 922

You deserved it 16 356

By pissedandpoor - 15/04/2016 17:50 - United States - Meadville

Today, my wallet got stolen. I had a bunch of cash, my SS card and my license in it. Now I have to replace everything, only to have to renew my license again when I turn 21 in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 004

You deserved it 2 967

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 619

You deserved it 4 610

Freak out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 460

You deserved it 3 621

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 01:59 - Canada - Waterdown

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 677

You deserved it 5 618

By nicetomeetyou2 - 25/09/2013 16:35 - Canada - Nepean

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 734

You deserved it 3 518

Oh really? No way!

By verydepressed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation - Seversk

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 326

You deserved it 3 760

By me - 19/12/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 931

You deserved it 28 613

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 04:04 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 656

You deserved it 2 551

By MegasaurusRex89 - 18/10/2014 00:04 - United States - Daly City

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 7 755

MegasaurusRex89 tells us more.

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 18 October 2014 21:55

I did run, but I stopped when I saw another squirrel looking at me and that's when the first one caught up. Greedy and determined little bastards I tell ya! (I'm OP, by the way... And a girl.)

By 2pale - 01/11/2015 18:22 - United States - Humble

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 500

You deserved it 2 360