Miscellaneous: Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player...

By jarrettsorko - 23/08/2011 16:38 - Canada

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 244

You deserved it 6 420

Miscellaneous

Batman

You tried

Triage

RIP, Moggie

By strangeprincess - 09/09/2019 16:00

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 273

Not lovin' it

By jared576 - 05/06/2015 03:01

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 733

By A.W - 24/06/2012 13:57 - United States

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 964

You deserved it 2 238

By the lannisters send their retards - 17/06/2014 20:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 253

You deserved it 4 539

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 983

You deserved it 12 014

By pottie69 - 07/09/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 609

You deserved it 7 150

By lion2294 - 05/03/2015 09:19 - United States - Laingsburg

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 7 192

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 2 812

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 589

You deserved it 3 852

By ditched?? - 06/08/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 242

You deserved it 5 692

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 36 011

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 933

You deserved it 3 458

By L0L59 - 07/09/2018 14:30

Today, I got my braces checked by another orthodontist since I've had them for years and my teeth never got the way they should be. After 8 years and 27 x-ray exams, my orthodontist didn't do much except loosen the root of the tooth to the point where I can move it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 176

Being nice is so 1968

By Anonymous - 23/06/2017 01:00 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 249

You deserved it 533

By stupid - 07/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 669

You deserved it 61 186

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 142

By my boyfriend is a slut - 03/11/2017 04:00

Today, I took my new boyfriend to my step-sister's wedding. He knew more people there than I did, including 3 bridesmaids he used to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 826

You deserved it 482

By tellingthetruth - 21/03/2012 16:25 - United Kingdom - Studley

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 157

You deserved it 14 106

By Graverobber - 23/11/2018 14:00

Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 948

You deserved it 266

Bullshit excuse

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 08:00

Today, my girlfriend recently dumped me because she's serious about her career (temp secretary) and needs a man who’s also serious about his career. I’m an area manager for 6 hotels, making almost six figures. I found out she's now dating a very low level weed dealer. Serious career. Sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 20:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 783

You deserved it 3 558

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 860

By Claudine - 30/06/2015 06:18 - Belgium - Li?ge

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 273

You deserved it 2 068

By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 619

You deserved it 30 652

By oooooops - 23/03/2015 00:32 - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 015

You deserved it 7 600

By notgoodenough38 - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 564

You deserved it 3 852

By jolene11 - 17/05/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 651

You deserved it 3 841

By 4gottenmemories - 08/04/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 659

You deserved it 3 623

By Anonymous - 09/12/2015 02:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I turned to face the cashier at the supermarket, I managed to knock over an entire display of gift cards with my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 4 119

By StellarSapience - 22/05/2009 01:18 - United States

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 581

You deserved it 8 422

By dirk855 - 18/01/2009 10:29 - United States

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 2 319

You can count on it

By amie - 11/08/2009 08:43 - Canada

Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry, my sister looks at my mom and says, "I win!" She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 085

You deserved it 7 976

By telefucked - 31/07/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 4 205

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 15:19 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 184

You deserved it 7 263

Does it taste good?

By Oregon - 04/12/2019 18:00

Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 497

By tootles - 22/05/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 823

You deserved it 6 221

By Ew - 26/05/2016 13:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 432

You deserved it 12 025

By masterman - 27/08/2012 06:45 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 034

You deserved it 2 924

By bras r expensive ppl - 27/01/2017 16:00

Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 093

You deserved it 699

By Pop - 15/01/2014 02:38 - United States - New York

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 484

You deserved it 4 770

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

flockz 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:10

sorry no one likes twilight that much...

tsim_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:13

gay pornos

meanmeli 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:09

lmao oh wow that's too funny. I wonder what kind of movies u had

tsim_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:13

gay pornos

SunnyUserName123 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:13

^ I'm sure there's another reason.

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:23

Blah!

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:23

Blah!

nixter5 18

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:31

Did you have 98 copies of sex and the city 2?

SteveTheJanitor 6

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:11

Just because they took two out of 100 doesn't mean OP has bad taste in movies... Maybe the robbers didn't have enough room in their bag....

shybear15 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:12

I love how ops stuff got stolen and is complaining about taste in movies , tf

bagginzy 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:13

How did you even notice you were missing 2 movies? Do you have them counted out?

eshhayz 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:20

As long as they didn't take jumungi , because. It's a board game movie

goebsy 8

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:29

"Let's see what movies they have...Catwoman, Disco Godfather, Leprechaun in the Hood....Dammit. Nevermind."

tona01 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:41

Apparently i forgot how house robbers are know across the world for their great tatse in movies. So why sweat it op, your taste is your own, i would rather concentrate on the fact that your house was robbed instead of your taste

PutItIn 8

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:53

Sex in the City series, 2 and a half Men series, Twilight Series, Twilight Limited Edition. The 2 good movies were True Grit and Forrest Gump.

yadisingh 5

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:23

21. He got robbed. Why the fuck should he be happy?

juicedboi 7

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 4:27

They left Street Fighter live action with van damme didn't they? I'm goin to get on my botte, and I'm going upreever. I am going to kick that sunofabeetch bye suns ass so heart! the next bye sun wallaby is gonna fill it. For the 3 of you who get this reference, I feel bad for you.

CreeperIRL 14

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 5:11

Should have had renter's/owners insurance. Then you don't have to worry bout anything...

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 6:28

This reminds me of that commercial where the robbers steal everything but the family's computer. Obviously, OP, you need to go buy a whole new movie collection with movies worthy of theft.

charlotte100 2

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:12

Excuse u, u can bash SATC movies all u want but the series was awesome!

Majstr 23

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:27

I guess romantic comedies.

nolarboot 10

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:28

Or maybe the robber was the one with bad taste in movies. :)

grapisy 8

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:29

64- Thats most likely true. I can tell you that after stuffing a TV and a DVD player into a duffel bag, you don't have much room left.

musicphreakk 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:59

Or Maybe , Your Taste Is SO Good , That The Robber Already Had 98 Of The Movies You Did :)

futboljem 1

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:09

Second

hilobude 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:09

Not really an FML

Socalledproblem 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:09

Oh no, never. They just can't read.

OneBigMessUp 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:53

Or they have a bad taste in movies

BADDiam 4

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:08

After reading "they took 2 out of 100 cds" part,i thought op homemade dvd was stolen..if ya know what i mean..

MagicallyFat 12

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:12

Not a really smart robber. He could've always sold them. Anyways I guess it's good u have ur specific type of movies and a bad robber

sxe_beast 11

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:15

Maybe they just didn't want to lug around 100 DvD boxes so they took their favorites? Or maybe they have bad taste in movies? And why are you worried about your taste of movies? I would worry about trying to make my home more secure and the uber expensive equipment that was stolen.