By trifioso - 08/01/2014 13:56 - United States

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 824
You deserved it 3 797

trifioso tells us more.

I am the OP, and I thank those of you who offered support to me, and my children. For the record: my husband and I divorced a month ago. I asked him REPEATEDLY what the status of his relationship was with his roommate, and he looked me right in the eye every time and denied they were involved. Two weeks after the divorce was granted in court, he told the kids the truth. FML only accepts stories that start with "today...." so yes, I fudged that bit a little. They have been together for two years. We were still in marriage counseling when they started up. And no, I didn't know. Seriously. I didn't, When someone you have known and loved for 20 years tell you something, you tend to believe it. Until you find out your whole life was a lie, that is.

Top comments

Did you kids say:"We like having two dads like you, daddy. Mom's the bitch anyways." Now, that, would be FML squared!

They must have been older to be able to go home themselves and tell you. But that is terrible OP, it's hard for the kids to deal with (parents will divorce, dad will suddenly be with a man) and they have to tell you and see you break down! (considering you were either in denial or really didn't know) No one deserves a partner like that


Did you kids say:"We like having two dads like you, daddy. Mom's the bitch anyways." Now, that, would be FML squared!

They must have been older to be able to go home themselves and tell you. But that is terrible OP, it's hard for the kids to deal with (parents will divorce, dad will suddenly be with a man) and they have to tell you and see you break down! (considering you were either in denial or really didn't know) No one deserves a partner like that

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Aaah_ if my dad EVER turned gay, I would never talk to him again.

Stephanie- you're absolutely right. Don't listen to KaySL, that hater. If your dad "turned" gay, he wouldn't be the same man who raised you, loved you, changed your diaper, and supported you for your entire life. You should definitely shun him if he ever dared to make a very difficult, extremely personal, life-changing announcement.

C6Racer 0

No, YOU **** off. It's called an opinion. Deal with it. Besides, what 9 said doesn't necessarily mean she hates gays. How do you think OP's children feel now that their father has suddenly left? He's the world's biggest idiot for lying to them and he should be ashamed.

C6Racer- chill, dude. A) Nowhere does it say the father left. It's probable, but not a given. B) Stephanie said she would never talk to her father again if he did the same thing. That's a big implication there. C) Just because he didn't tell his kids for so long doesn't mean he loves them any less. It may have just taken him that long to be able to admit to himself who he is, let alone admit it to his family. Edit: That first sentence is remarkably similar to KaySL's. Interesting.

lemonypower 6

Hey, shut up. When my best friend was five and her sister was three their dad decided he was gay, and now he has a husband (not legally) and he still has a wonderful relationship with his daughters and you can imagine how confused she was when "daddy moved away got a boyfriend" but she is fine and So is her sister. Oh, and by the way retard people don't turn gay

PSQ91 6

This conversation is more interesting to read then the FML was.

Hahh I agree PSQ91. What Stephanie said is..understandable. Imagine if your father one day told you he was gay and was too cowardly to tell his wife that he was no longer in love with her-because he is attracted to men, so he had YOU tell her instead. I mean that's pretty devastating. Not to mention that could cause you to believe your parents Entire 19 year relationship was a sham. This would also most likely mean a divorce, which in it's self COULD cause a child to never want to talk to their parent again. I'm not saying what she said was right or wrong; I'm just saying Maybe she's not the "bigot" you're assuming she is.

lwd305 0

I think KaySL's just mad because he's a secret fag.

C6Racer 0

OP said he "sent" his kids home to tell her. I realize that's not proof positive that he actually left, but it sure as hell looks like it. Doc, I don't mind if people are gay. It's those who are hypocrites that severely anger me. If Kay isn't gay, my mistake for lashing out. Otherwise, I'm standing firm.

C6Racer 0

Those last two sentences came out wrong. I'm not implying only those who are gay can be hypocrites.

I would be pissed off. Not because he's gay but because he broke up the marriage, can't tell his own wife and is leaving the family. You can't expect someone to deal withthat news calmly, it's a big deal to come out so reactions won't always be supportive.

I don't see why whenever it comes to homosexuality everyone gets so uppity. I didn't have a dad but I'd imagine if I'd grown up with someone who I thought I knew everything about and thought loved my mum, I'd be upset. I'm not saying I'd never talk to him again but I'd be hurt that I felt like I had been living a lie so long. Peoples parents get divorced all the time and kids are messed up about it. Why, if it's over one of them being gay, would it suddenly make a kid a bigot to be upset about it? If you're struggling with sexuality, fine. It sucks you feel like you have to live a lie. But for crying out loud, just stay single. Don't get married to someone you aren't attracted too, have kids with them and hurt them all later.

Stephanie, you have a lot to learn and A LOT of growing up to do! Welcome to 2011 you terrible little bitch.

These comments really are better to read than the actual FML.

see people don't just turn gay, I assumed op husband knew he was gay all along but only decide to drop this bomb now, since the society is more open than 19 years ago. plus Drbastard I have to agree with you at some point but not all. it's op husband fault that he kept the secret this long and drop this bomb that would literally tear the family apart. beside your father raised you up, how can u turn your back on him just because he is gay? Drbastard you are a dad urself I'm sure u know how's like for some reason to have your daughter hate you for something you did or you are.

well it's not so simple to just tell someone who's confused about their sexuality to get married to a woman and start a family because at that point they could really want to be straight and have a straight marriage with kids and all that and/or they could've been raised to be told that being gay wasn't an option and that they needed to marry a woman among other things

How the **** can he be gay if he married you and had sex with you more than once? He must be bi with a higher preference of men, but NOT gay.

There are lots of gay men who have gotten married and had kids only to "come out" years later. He may have been in denial. He may have wanted to seem "normal" back when being gay wasn't as socially accepted as it is today (not that it is close to accepted by everyone). One of my cousins did this exact thing after his girls were in college. I promise you, he is undoubtedly homosexual, not bi.

See, here's the thing. When they've done studies on sexually active teens, they have found that those who are in the closet are actually MORE likely to have straight intercourse, and are actually more likely to have children than those who are straight. Why? I'm not saying that this is a conscious decision, but it's believed to happen because it is really hard to call someone gay if they have kids. If you want to stay in the closet... It's one of the best ways to stay there. That doesn't mean they're NOT gay. I have a relative who is gay.... He has three children, and was married for years. He is still closeted due to his extremely homophobic son... Or at least that is the assumption. You saying that someone with a kid cannot possibly be gay is simply untrue.

varkey 7

i know that this happens [when gay guys marry women]... but what i dont get is how can a guy have sex with a woman and still be totally gay [not bi]? I mean he has to ****** doesn't he? which means that he enjoyed the sex with the woman. again, i'm not disagreeing with anyone, but i want someone to explain this. don't call me bigoted or anything cuz i'm not.

It's a little thing called the penis. A man is capable of being aroused by physical stimulation even if it's by someone he's not attracted to.

or he could've been thinking about a man while they had intercourse

KristinaKreme 0

That's soo gay! Sorry for the gay joke. Oops did it again. My bad.

gay doesn't mean stupid or bad. just think about how offensive that is to gay people...


haha thts wat i was thinking the whole time

beatlesfreak 0

Is that supposed to be funny or something? :/ '

divali 5

HEY MOMMY,HEY MOMMY!!!..Guess what??? Daddy is GAY!!

I am the OP, and that is exactly what my children said. So, well done you.

Than your children suddenly seem very young in the way they talk to you and I highly doubted they were 6 till 10 years old to go home to tell you the news. How old were they anyway?

Lichinamo 33

Actually, some kids call their parrents Mommy and Daddy for a very long time. And before you people try calling me an idiot for still calling my parents Mommy and Daddy, I stopped around the time I was four because I thought it sounded childish.