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Hey guys, this was actually me before I signed up for an account. Thanks for all the supportive messages, you guys rock! You're right, anxiety is a bitch! All those who said YDI, no-one deserves anxiety or any other mental disorder... just like no-one deserves any illness eg. cancer.

On the down low

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Montreal

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 141

You deserved it 8 169

Pretend

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 16:34 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 785

You deserved it 6 972

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 230

You deserved it 3 427

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 735

You deserved it 24 351

By Bostonian - 02/12/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 584

You deserved it 5 771

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 932

You deserved it 4 390

By ohshootgirl - 04/10/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 010

You deserved it 28 143

By dontaskdonttell - 24/04/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 507

You deserved it 5 642

By Gone With the Wind - 12/05/2014 03:29 - United States - Omaha

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 703

You deserved it 4 877

By bowser_rawr16 - 12/03/2012 20:12 - Canada

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 2 693

bowser_rawr16 tells us more.

bowser_rawr16 13

Tuesday 13 March 2012 14:55

OP here. Thanks lol. That's actually exactly what I was doing. I'm only 21, and I work in a very professional office, and I always need to look my best. I can't afford new shoes at the time, so that's why I sharpied them.

By whatawaste - 07/03/2012 16:25 - United States

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 2 370