Teenagers hm, theres a reason they have zits :) hope youre okay though!!

Re-read the FML. It said "The Guy". It doesn't necessarily mean him. OP could have been the one to help though.

We aren't all bad. The bad ones get more publicity.

But... He lives in Canada...

#22 I think you should re-read the comment too

Zits? But the proactive commercial told me to blame biology!

#1 We can't all poof from childhood to adulthood like you. Beside your magical powers, I fail to see how obtaining zits has to do with a teenagers actions.

I think #1 was referring to them going for the free candy.

Increased sugar levels often means more zits, at least it did for me back in the day.

Pretty sure adults still get zits too...

"How many Good & Plenties did you get?"
"Plenty."
"Good."

#22 re-read it again. "the guy" means him/OP.

#34, the FML must be fake then.

They've got their priorities straight.

He most likely rocked the machine anyways. Going to say YDI

You came from -12 to 39. I applaud you.

get all the candy then help the guy

Everyone wins!

I thought OP was the one stuck.

Well, I mean, if you get all the candy out first, the machine would lose weight......

And y'know. If you eat it all it would make it easier to get him free if it were to happen again.

And sugar gives you super-human strength to help get the machine off the guy.

See, there is a certain logic to their actions.

I'll take you to the candy shop.

Let him lick your lollipop?

Go ahead girl, don't you stop?

Keep going till you hit the spot?

Whoa!

FML, twisting ordinary events into something sexual since 2009.

Love how someone from India is saying "brah". And isn't this why all of us visit FML? Just saying.Thanks FML for "finding a common denominator that brings us all together". Sex, love, money, life, death and "whatever turns our crank", aren't we all in the same boat, brah? Peace

79, what??

Faith in Humanity... Still the same...-.-

Candy Crush!

Awesome! You won the comment section here today.

Somebody needs to send OP an extra life.

Quick question though... How did it end on top of you?

I want to know that too

Trying to get free candy?

I was thinking that since the vending machine was broken that he might have been a mechanic trying to fix it and something went wrong causing it to fall on him. I would still like a follow up to find out though.

Probably tried rocking it back and forth after the candy got stuck.

That's just plain stupid, mate...

Just making the machine lighter so you can rescue the poor fucker underneath it.

And you're surprised why? I think we all know that teens value food over people!

the sad sad truth about who will be in control of our planets future

I wish I could that I'm surprised. Sorry, OP.

Like, what?

I wish that I could pretend that I'm surprised.*

Or: I wish I could say I was suprised*