By dagreatpumpkin - 02/10/2012 18:48 - United States

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 674
You deserved it 2 067

dagreatpumpkin tells us more.

The pumpkin was for a contest. It weighed in at over 500 LBS. No-one was hurt by it being in the intersection, only vehicle damage. Cuplrits have been found and charged with Meyham, 2 counts of Grand Theft (one for the pumpkin, and one for a forklift), Criminal Trespass, and Vandalism. Cinderella, didn't make it to the ball.

Top comments

LilFlutter 10

Wow, nice job on growing the pumpkin! So sorry that some idiotic jerks stole it (and your possible win) from you!

iCherryPanda 12

Well that's not only mean, but dangerous too. Jerks. Sorry OP! Maybe next year!


Pressure of the first comment get to you?

1, I'm just as sad as you!! It's a shame the first comment wasn't put to good use. :(

thatpeachyperson 12

Are you a mute pumpkin or a mute banana?

The replies to bad first comments are almost more annoying than bad first comments.

Is anyone else wondering how OP knew what the theif did with the pumkin?

Comet_Candy 23

He probably saw the remains of his beloved pumpkin in the nearby intersection... What a tragedy!!

Since when does galiger have something against pumpkins too?

pom3440 22

that's exactly what I was gonna say! ...why was this down voted to hell?

iCherryPanda 12

Well that's not only mean, but dangerous too. Jerks. Sorry OP! Maybe next year!

Galliger's cousin, the pumpkin smasher, strikes again!

Hav ha ha hav you seen my my my pumpkin? Something about marry just popped in to my head. Lol

Azellia 15

Competition or just wanted to grow a big pumpkin?

mollysticks 10

I now have a goal for next year... I'm going to grow a huge ass pumpkin.

Reminds me of the 'Hey Arnold!' episode where Stinky grew the giant pumpkin.

reguz 2

Aww ... I am sorry for that :(

Don't be thick, 16. If someone offered condolences on the death of a loved one, would you shout "Murder!" as well?

raraisbang 12

27) I believe that penguin was joking. The way the apology was written made it sound like she stole the pumpkin. "I'm sorry for that" could mean "I'm sorry I stole your pumpkin." Therefor, it seem Penguin took this as an opportunity to make a witty joke that seemingly went right over your head. At least, that's what I got out of this whole ordeal :D

fromthesuck 8

In order for it to be a witty joke that went over 27 head it'd have to first be witty. However for you to perceive this as witty I really must question your mental capacity as well.

raraisbang 12

I didn't perceive it at a witty joke, I said Penguin used it as the opportunity to make it a witty joke, meaning Penguin might've thought they were making a witty joke. My entire comment was situational; maybe Penguin did, in fact, think that 4 was the pumpkin thief.

I'm wondering where he found the time to do it and how he did put it in the middle of a busy intersection.

Maybe it wasn't he, who stole the Pumpkin, maybe the Pumpkin run itself and got stuck in the middle of the road, when seeing a lots of car running towards it. You know like one of those scary movies.

I have never seen a movie where a pumpkin got up and ran into the street.

How did he manage to put a giant pumpkin in the middle of a busy intersection, was nobody wondering what the hell he was doing?

The question is: how did he put the pumpkin in the middle of the busy intersection without getting hit by a car?!

Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It didn't. It got stuck in the middle.

lacespace 8

"busy itersection" Translation: he smashed it.

50 - The answer to the question in your profile picture is that you have succeeded in failing. That's all..

the thief probably just rolled it out or put it there at night when there weren't so many cars out.

JustAnotherKid4U 5

This is the greatest thing I have ever read hahaXD

Really? So when someone hits it and causes a major accident in which people get hurt, it would be awesome?

7 - I recommend Tolkien, Hemingway, or just about anything at your local bookstore. Trust me, they're all a lot more entertaining than an FML.

JustAnotherKid4U 5

Haha agreed. A book is more entertaining. But its really pThetic people cant see the humor in putting a giant pumpkin in an intersection.

bingababe 16

I find the people who CAN find the humor in endangering peoples lives pathetic. But that's just me.

69- Humor is always at someone's expense. Car accidents usually aren't funny, but one ring caused by a giant pumpkin in the middle of a busy intersection is. At least to me.

bingababe 16

"Usually" aren't funny?? I'd say car accidents are NEVER funny. But again, that's just me.

I kind of see the morbid humor. Imagine that Insurance call: "Hi. I have a claim to file. No the damage is only to my car. I hit a stationary object. No. No. It wasnt a pole or anything. I was a giant pumpkin that was in the middle of an intersection. My fault? What?" Or the calls to the police: "Uh hi, there was just a giant pumpkin that appeared in this uh intersection. No. Not Kidding. Serously. Stop Laughing."

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

One does not simply buy a massive(possibly prize winning) pumpkin.

perdix 29

Was there a Smashing Pumpkins show nearby? Their fans are too literal.

Psych101 9

Let's just hope OP isn't a literal fan of Avenge Sevenfold, or the culprit(s) may be the one(s) in the middle of the road next time...

Avenged Sevenhold has some pretty ****** up songs.

Mix it with 36 Crazyfists and five finger death punch and the guy who stole the pumpkin just dug their own grave

perdix 29

Watch out for the Butthole Surfers. They might go find your iPhone!

And Queens of the Stone Age. I suffered several concussions.

gczizza1997 15

Find out who it was, pick up all the pumpkin and scatter it all over their lawn. :3