The Top

Who's to say it wouldn't have happened after marriage? And two sets of twins? Who would abort? It wasn't a bad relationship, just ended badly that's all. People divorce after ten, twelve, hell twenty years and none of them deserve it in my book. Ijs.

By Singlewife - 23/03/2019 22:00

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 1 619

By CallMeMrFunny - 22/12/2016 18:27

Today, I mentioned to my parents that Sunday is going to be awesome because it's Christmas. They responded with "Wait, this Sunday? In 3 days?!" Apparently they forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 466

You deserved it 732

By ccat209 - 20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 685

You deserved it 9 088

By MBoomer - 16/11/2016 06:36

Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 427

You deserved it 968

Timing

By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 06:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 3 481

Driver 8

By _guy_j - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 509

You deserved it 3 591

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 594

You deserved it 1 339

By PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 392

You deserved it 2 371

By C8H18 - 10/08/2016 19:16 - United States - South Pasadena

Today, I had to abandon my normal duties and help out the electrician my boss called, all because my boss couldn't handle speaking to him since he was attractive. She's in her fifties. I'm in my twenties and I'm the more mature one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 916

C8H18 tells us more.

C8H18 33

Thursday 11 August 2016 16:22

The full immaturity: So the manager and supervisors, (all of which are middleaged females) were at the front of the building with me. Electrician arrives and I let him in the building. By the time I turn around, all the ladies are at the opposite side of the building. I don't think much of that at the time because I know a lot of people aren't comfortable working around wiring. So I help the guy out for the day. Once he left all the ladies suddenly appeared again; giggling and acting like little school girls. My manager started bombarding me with questions like, "What's his name?! He's so handsome! Is he married? When's he coming back? Will you warn me before he does?" I was quite shocked at the behavior honestly. He did return and I caught manager and supervisors spying around corners as we worked. He needed the managers signature for the work he'd done when he was finished. She refused to approach him because she was blushing too much. I had to bring her the paper in the back room before she'd sign it.

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 1 130

By yeah... - 22/01/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I am still in love with, sent me a text message that said, "I miss you, baby." It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 830

You deserved it 2 256

By C2 - 17/01/2009 23:17 - Australia

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 409

You deserved it 3 208

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 03:01 - United States - Fremont

Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 1 963

By MySonshine7 - 07/03/2016 16:23 - United States - Redding

Today, I started training my replacement for my job. My replacement already makes more money per hour than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 415

You deserved it 1 522

MySonshine7 tells us more.

MySonshine7 13

Tuesday 8 March 2016 4:06

OP here. I'll start by saying I'm leaving tis job voluntarily. I'm moving to a new town, I'll actually be making more at my new job. I have no hard feelings towards my current company. They even offered to pay me more to get me to stay, but sadly they don't have a branch in the town I'm moving too. To be clear this is a manager position I worked up too and they decided to raise the starting pay of my job after they started looking for someone. Apparently they think if the pay is good enough they might get someone as close to how good I am. So I took that As a compliment, I don't plan on screwing the new girl over. I just find it funny they wait until they are losing me to finally listen to me about how my department is under appreciated. I do wish them all the best though, they are making some great strides to being better. Sorry for the long response!