Love: Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four...

Who's to say it wouldn't have happened after marriage? And two sets of twins? Who would abort? It wasn't a bad relationship, just ended badly that's all. People divorce after ten, twelve, hell twenty years and none of them deserve it in my book. Ijs.

Love

Walk the line

You tried

My booze

23/06/2011 14:19

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 923

You deserved it 4 098

21/08/2012 02:30

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 220

You deserved it 16 412

05/05/2014 02:58

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 203

You deserved it 4 006

31/12/2010 06:13

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 749

You deserved it 7 685

27/06/2013 23:56

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 512

You deserved it 8 756

05/07/2009 06:30

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 936

You deserved it 3 776

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 17:58

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 103

11/12/2010 16:16

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 740

You deserved it 6 112

22/06/2016 22:13

Today, it's my 7-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I was excited so I asked him what day it was and he said, "Wednesday?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 321

You deserved it 2 524

27/07/2019 15:01

Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 437

14/04/2019 20:00

Today, my grandfather told me I could bring a date to my cousin’s wedding. I said I didn't have anyone to bring. He replied, “That's the saddest thing I've heard all day.” He’s 98. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 264

06/12/2008 04:54

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 274

You deserved it 11 823

17/11/2009 20:05

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 5 904

I'm here!

By handygirl - 31/01/2020 14:00

Today, I tried fixing my bedroom lock because the push button hadn't retracted. When I closed the door, I couldn't open it again because the spring isn't attached to the latch, so that didn't retract either. I'm locked in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 519

You're a natural

By Blackout at The Gym - 27/11/2020 14:08

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 939

26/11/2009 09:22

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 943

You deserved it 28 235

12/01/2012 19:24

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 402

You deserved it 5 342

23/11/2012 17:20

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 2 830

23/04/2009 02:22

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 74 107

05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 582

You deserved it 707

01/01/2016 22:41

Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 320

You deserved it 3 303

11/10/2010 00:37

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 225

You deserved it 3 604

20/07/2011 16:37

Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 820

You deserved it 4 524

20/01/2011 21:37

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 369

You deserved it 15 791

12/07/2011 16:45

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 52 241

Are you experienced?

By Karenfast17 - 03/03/2021 14:58

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 304

03/06/2013 05:32

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 351

You deserved it 3 894

22/10/2010 13:26

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 204

You deserved it 30 864

18/06/2013 00:55

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 205

You deserved it 47 135

Burning up

By Eliana - 06/05/2021 14:01

Today, my left eye is bright red and painful. Also, I have pimples all over my genitals. Spoiler alert: it's herpes. The eye? A bacterial eye infection. Welcome to a week of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 265

23/02/2016 03:14

Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 1 812

26/03/2011 06:32

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 999

You deserved it 6 936

07/07/2009 04:48

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 690

You deserved it 14 177

23/06/2009 11:31

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 118

You deserved it 4 489

Ross?

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 22:02

Today, my wife had a dream that I was in the bath with our newborn baby. In the dream, I threw the baby out like a football. She can't get the image out of her head and won't forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 63

20/11/2010 06:20

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 5 068

01/07/2016 14:10

Today, I set up a hidden camera in my room so I could prove that my sister beats me up when my parents aren't home, since they always accuse me of lying about it. When I showed them, they wasted no time accusing me of "provoking" her off-camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 450

You deserved it 888

04/09/2012 16:44

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 589

You deserved it 53 987

15/03/2012 17:49

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 636

You deserved it 38 021

03/03/2015 02:03

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 984

You deserved it 4 302

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Top comments

Googolman 29

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 13:55

Great! He's automatically out of your life. You are now free to forget about him. You don't need him.

nunyabiz112 10

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 18:03

Comments

jessmonkey 15

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 13:54

Classy guy.

holyshmolly 13

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:18

Fiancé WITH kids for 7 yrs should've been the red flag.

KeannaLove 32

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:20

Why would that be a red flag? You don't have to get married to have kids.

noisyboy4000 23

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:37

Not exactly. But after 4 kids and still nothing? Not really a good sign

zAstonish 20

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 13:54

Give up on him.

Googolman 29

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 13:55

Great! He's automatically out of your life. You are now free to forget about him. You don't need him.

Mpii 11

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:55

I feel like you're forgetting the kids.

organizse 28

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 13:56

What a complete asshole. There's no hope for cowards like him

BlueBaronBitch 22

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:00

It's people like him that should not be allowed to reproduce in the first place, out of your life and out of your mind I'm so sorry to hear about that OP, I hope your kids are doing okay as well as you

staminprime 12

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:12

hey you can make him pay for being a douche bag. its called child support :)

maz08 11

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:15

You're far better off without him and your kids don't need to grow up seeing their mother being disrespected

SlimFILS 4

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:18

4 kids in 7 seven and u're not married?? What were you expecting??

rldostie 19

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 15:24

Not everyone believes marriage is the ultimate commitment. For some, children alone are seen as more binding than a marriage contract. If the guy is willing to break the hearts of his kids, then something tells me he wasn't going to take marriage vows very seriously either.

zeffra13 31

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 16:39

#21 if they didn't believe in marriage, why get engaged?

chinaski7628 32

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 17:02

That's right, 8, I forgot, married people never cheat or leave their children…

ThatOneChick856 36

Tuesday 9 February 2016 17:15

I think #8 means that it's really fishy that he's willing to have 4 kids with the OP but won't seal the deal on marriage after 7 years of engagement. Unless there were major things that prevented the marriage from happening, it's odd that he didn't want legal ties with her for so long (outside of the kids) since he got engaged to OP. It's one thing to never want to be married and have kids anyways, but another to wait for your partner to keep their promise after 7 years.

Bravewolf 15

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:18

at least you weren't married, sucks for the kids though.

youdontsay123456 21

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Tuesday 9 February 2016 14:21

Take this as a sign that he's a two timer and you deserve better. Hope you get better OP.