Work: Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with...

By ReComatosed242 - 09/03/2016 00:29 - Bahamas - Eleuthera

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 967

You deserved it 1 402

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Same thing different taste

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 3 096

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 17 973

By Ouch - 14/11/2018 05:00

Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 327

By spreadburger - 21/11/2014 00:29 - United States - Tampa

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 950

You deserved it 2 844

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 021

You deserved it 7 807

Battery

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 05:00

Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 168

You deserved it 3 185

Violence is never the answer

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker warned me that if I made one more dad joke, she’d belt me with a frying pan. Alas, I did not believe her capable of such violence, which is why I now sit here with a bag of frozen peas pressed to the 3-inch lump on the back of my head. Plus she was sacked, so now I feel horribly guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 699

By Popscene - 26/09/2012 09:06 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 393

You deserved it 2 937

ellyhan 11

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:57

Well, that got my attention.

xStarzx 11

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:54

That's a little harsh

Comments

xStarzx 11

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:54

That's a little harsh

ellyhan 11

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:57

Well, that got my attention.

Imhere4fml 24

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:57

What was the argument about?

slingerslasher 24

Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:21

about how OPs balls would look like fresh, popping doughs if flattened by a paint roller

FYLTHOUGH 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:57

some peoples brains work in mysterious ways

ChocolateScyther 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 22:50

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

RetroGameNinja 7

Wednesday 9 March 2016 23:54

This has no likes? smh

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:58

Do you guys work at Subway by chance? Because that's exactly how they makes their bread every morning.

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:15

They use paint rollers at Subway?

Symba_fml 14

Wednesday 9 March 2016 20:59

They use testicles at Subway?

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Thursday 10 March 2016 16:02

Yes, how do you think they get the salt exactly right?

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Thursday 10 March 2016 16:03

And it's not exactly paint, I hear it's in fact rubber.

emeraldisle 30

Wednesday 9 March 2016 17:58

I don't even have balls but I still cringed at this.

v4valour 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:06

You do, they're just higher up

hfslkp47012759 28

Wednesday 9 March 2016 22:26

...no.

Ayasha_fml 12

Wednesday 9 March 2016 22:44

emerald, hope you are never made more aware of your internal egg sacs Picture it, Sicily, 2000s. I'm on my period, and my best friend's bro and I were hanging out. He's mentally special (no really, not being mean) and gets into a feisty rambunctious boy mood. He asks if I want to fight or wrestle and I say no but he starts punching and kicking anyway. Guess where they landed? I was also average to thin so there wasn't really much fat to pad it. Just skin, muscle, and squishy organs. I started crying and went inside and only then did it get through his head that he screwed up. He apologized but ugh. I can sympathize with guys. I went to my knees, cried, and felt like puking. That's how hard the impact was. I did try to block but it just caught me off guard.