By guess28 - 14/07/2009 18:19 - Puerto Rico

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 749
You deserved it 20 818

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I don't understand why people even do that. Why not just be honest and try to work on it? Sorry about your luck.

D: I feel your pain. It takes an impossible amount of work for me to have one, and even then, it's only been twice. I just wish my boyfriend didn't make me feel like something is wrong with me.


shortshan 0

Not true... its a communication problem if she can't tell you that she's not enjoying it. Or if she can't tell you what will get her off.

loveyababe 0
kayseexx7 0

ok so you say it's not an FML. but then you say your life dOES suck though?. that's pretty much exactly the same thing buddy.


his life sux, but it isn't ******. and if it is ******, it never orgasms. ever.

#1, maybe most of YOUR girls fake it... ;)

Singularity_fml 0

I never fake my orgasms, because if my bf's not pleasuring me the right way, I tell him. It's helpful to him, and feels fine with me. OP, I feel sorry for you. Your gf just needs to tell you what she wants.

I fake when I come across a man like you, number 1. A man who doesnt have any care for a females ******. You're foreplay is probably Fart - and - roll - over.

I'm replying to the first comment so my comment is at the top.

Goldfinch86 0

Thats the most hilarious comment ever, and sadly probably the most accurate.

Hugorgy 0

That's only because most women don't want to tell their partner he's doing it wrong and is a failure in bed. Maybe the girl is scared he'll leave, or maybe he will be so self-conscious he won't want to touch her anymore. Who knows? We don't have that information. OP, have you tried clitoral stimulation? Not all women can get off on penetration alone. Research so you know what can get her off too.

Cloudy_fml 0

It is possible to enjoy sex without having an ******, you know...

Studies done at Harvard university and Princeton university have shown that 93% of women fake their orgasms. Bing it

runwest07 0

My ex-gf did it all the time. When she fessed up to it about a year into our relationship, she said she continued to hide it because I had mentioned that it would be pretty hurtful if she ever faked. We had a big fight about her admitting to her faking and had make-up sex. A year after that, I found out she faked that time, and every time after that. Trust me, I did everything I could do to please that girl.

Bing it??? **** that, Google is the only way to go, Bing is just a shitty rip off from microsoft.

icecreamdriveby, You just say you've "cum?" Don't the guys get suspicious when they hear their dicks squeaking on every thrust and smell a faint burning smell?

well as long as u ****** 100% of teh time, who cares? lol

jaclynsmilesx 0
valmont_fml 0

Exactly! Couldn't have put it better myself.

Don't fake, just let him know you didn't have one by not doing anything. Much more hurtful ?

I don't understand why people even do that. Why not just be honest and try to work on it? Sorry about your luck.

Yeah it sounds like its more of a FHL -- **** Her Life.. If she can't tell him what she wants, its her loss.. Hes still getting off.

22cute 17

I agree with 248. Women usually fake orgasms when their sick of what you're doing and just want you to stop.

DenBriZel 31

Because some men are so self conscious they get mad if you don't ******. I had a boyfriend who'd get mad and say it was something I was doing that was stopping me from finishing, so I started faking. Of course he then thought he was the best in bed ever. Until I crushed his hopes and dreams when I dumped his ass for being a cocky asshole.

Wow these come out fast. I moderated this one 30 minutes ago.

deja54 0

How's he supposed to fix it if he has no reason to think there's a problem? Why would anyone mix it up if what you're doing has her screaming?

deja54 0

He couldn't have done anything about it. She set herself up for it by not communicating, and she suffered for it.

Ha, yeah--you and Freud, claiming that the "vaginal ******" is the only mature one. I have no idea if you've got the right anatomy or not, but if you're male like Freud, you don't know WTF you're talking about. :D

Ligerie 0

wtf?! 10 bucks your talking about your blow up dolls deflating......

SkaterChic 0

dont forget about the "get the guts to spill the beans" header

If you're not willing to reciprocate when she sucks you off, you CAN just take care of yourself. YDI for being so selfish.

Yeah, you suck. Well, you won't be getting any more sucks until you find a girl with low enough self esteem who will pretend to have vaginal orgasms with you forever!!

Dashiell 0

I hope you have fun with your hand!

fretforyerlatte 0

in that case that's a HUUUGE YDI because you're not willing to attempt to please her. **** you, dude. you don't deserve to have sex with anyone.

You totally deserved it. You've got a double standard, and that isn't how this sort of thing should go. **** her life for dating you.

See, I would have had some sympathy for you because I think women should speak up rather than fake an ******, but that just tossed it. I'm not quick to say this, but I hope she dumps your ass. Reciprocity. Learn it.

Okay so at first I pressed "I Agree" but now I'm pressing "You deserved it." So HA! You aren't willing to please her, then she deserves someone better. Go pleasure yourself.

Okay, I felt sorry for you until you said that. You love getting oral, but not giving? Good luck with peanut butter and the family dog, then, Selfish.

Holy crap, I was really sympathetic to you at first because faking ****** really is a shitty thing for women to do... but the idea that any man can expect fellatio from woman without giving *********** in return if and when she wants it NEEDS TO DIE. I mean, A) what are you so afraid of? As long as she has reasonable hygiene (and by that I mean she takes showers and wipes properly, because that's about all it takes, besides obviously checkups for serious problems) her vulva is probably cleaner than her hands at any given moment. And I promise she has no teeth down there. B) Why the hell would you put your dick anywhere your mouth won't go? Anyway, you OWE IT TO HER to at least TRY. Get a couple of tasty flavored lubes and/or dental dams (as long as you make sure she's not allergic to anything in them) to make the experience more pleasant for you if you can't stand the feeling or taste. And remember, your hands and/or a vibrator can take care of her clit while her ****** is taking care of you.

voveraite 7

Aaaaah, I didn't vote on this one till now, but a big fat YDI!!!! Not one inch of sympathy anymore! How could she BOTHER going down (at least more than once) on someone who didn't reciprocate?

That's a silly question, #179: the answer (for some people) is "taste buds". Also, I bet some of the ladies might be a bit concerned if a dude wears braces, too.

caticaticati 3

Actually, most women can NOT have an ****** through penetration alone. If you do any sort of research on how to please a lady, you will find this. Women need clitoral stimulation to ****** in most cases, so either your love handles are rubbing her the right way or you're finding women in the minority. :)

OperationNicole_fml 0

You have a rate? Do you tally after each encounter? Lame. I stopped reading your post after seeing that.

waterynuggets 0

Or maybe you can stop being an ignorant jackass. Most women CANNOT ****** from penetration alone. A woman can try other positions and add in stimulation because it's not always going to happen from penetration alone. Penetration also doesn't have to be the be-all end-all to sex. Regardless if there's clitoral stimulation, STILL a lot of women don't get anything out of penetration. Not to mention there is also such a thing called vaginismus. You could take the happiest woman evar and she still wouldn't cum from having her cervix crammed in. So you should STFU and go back to your mattress and Lubriderm. Or continue posting on the internet about your pretend 90% rate women to other real women if it makes you feel like a big boy, champ.

voveraite 7

Thugbert, whilst I still wonder about what cervices have to do with it, I kind of timidly support you! :D You see, my problem is that shouting out loud that intercourse does nothing for women, will make men not care much about how long they last or how they move, and for some of us this would be downright sad :(. Happy (whatever you're doing), but don't forget the foreplay either! ;)

It is her problem. He can't know what she feels, so it is up to her to communicate. The OP can't take responsibility for both of them.

lol im sorry about your luck. at least she didnt break up with you so if she wants to try again you know to work on it. FYL

This is why I'm fairly glad I'm not a girl as it's overly difficult to ****** if you're a girl.

D: I feel your pain. It takes an impossible amount of work for me to have one, and even then, it's only been twice. I just wish my boyfriend didn't make me feel like something is wrong with me.

That's entirely dependent on the girl, and whether or not her partner gives a damn. It isn't difficult at all for me to ******, unless the guy I'm sleeping with is a TOTAL dud in bed. And I mean TERRIBLE. You have to be excruciatingly bad in bed to not give me an ******.

Cloudy_fml 0

Lucky! @ 98 You're comment made me laugh btw. =)

Sorry, didn't mean to reply to this particular comment. Deleted.

Jailbot, I have the same thing. It's happened more than twice though, usually when I'm on top. But he makes me feel pretty alienated about it as well. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Not really, it's just different with every girl, and it takes longer

spazzycre 0

wow, i know i'm gonna get alot of flaming comments, but i've never been higher then the 50th comment ;D

No! Why would I ever flame you? I'm happy for you!!! Amazingly, being one of the first people to comment is kinda nice

deja54 0

But they can also be honest about that, and the guy can then work with her to improve that.

elara15 0

Knowing that, guys should be more openminded about oral, instead of just assuming putting their dick in some new and exciting way will get their girl off this time... Honestly, I don't have have a problem having an ****** outside of intercourse, but I've encountered guys who get offended to try something that doesn't involve their pleasure directly. I've never been of that selfish mentality.

I know. It's kind of a cool feeling when you're close to the top (if you've said something useful) because then everyone sees it. Unfortunately trolls take advantage of this.

Wow, you're a complete asshole. Most women can't ****** through penetration alone -- and some can't ****** from sex, regardless. You need to STFU.

I lol'd hard. And I've accidentally slammed it in the wrong hole a few times. Ok, more than a few times. Wasn't pleasant for either of us.

pedegg 0

NOT a good thing. If someone did that to me, I would take a dump straight on their wang.

voveraite 7

huh? The guy above you makes complete and perfect sense! Aaaand, ladies and gentleman, something for which I'll get flamed: statistics are often a bunch of baloney. I believe the MAJORITY OF WOMEN CAN achieve climax through intercourse, it depends on what was BEFORE it, her state of mind, and hitting the right spots. That said, a lot of women don't explore themselves enough, don't communicate with their partners enough, whereas the partners might be quite lazy to please. Also, if the girl is in her teens, it might be she didn't yet fully mature (menstruation is far from meaning someone can fully enjoy intimacy). However, the topic of people-who-start-doing-things-before-being-really-informed-on-what-they-are-doing is another rant altogether.

No, the comment above you is right. Most women can't achieve an ****** through penetration alone. I can't believe you guys think that is all it takes. We aren't BROKEN because you can't get us off. It doesn't mean we don't ********** correctly, it means someone doesn't care enough to attend to a woman's needs in bed.

fretforyerlatte 0

31 still has a very valid point. if what your man is doing isn't getting you off, it's up to you to say something, and/or do something about it. penetration doesn't do it for a lot of girls, but how is the guy supposed to know that if you don't tell him? i think most guys actually want to please the women they're with and are open to suggestion. give yourself a hand while he's doing his thing, that generally works. if the woman tells the man it's not working and he doesn't care, that's one thing. but men are not mind readers, and they don't respond to hints either. you must be DIRECT. you'd think us girls would have figured that out by now. speak the hell up or you are personally responsible for not getting off. i realize some women have trouble, that's not what i'm talking about. i'm talking about the many who are unsatisfied and say absolutely nothing. that is nobody's fault but yours.

#91, it takes two to tango. If a woman just lays there during sex expecting her partner to do all of the work then it's her problem if she doesn't climax.

voveraite 7

Argh, I don't enjoy going into details, but here it goes: I didn't mean they can reach climax through intercourse ALONE, of course adequate foreplay is included. But after that foreplay (which may include one or more clit. Os, why not?), so to speak "internal" Os can very often be achieved if the movements are adequate (takes self-exploration and communication). Not for ALL women, granted, but not as little as 30% in any case. And I am NOT a man. Also, what is annoying about the second comment in this row is calling the very civilized poster above (#31) an "asshole".

snavula 0

If you wanna know, I've noticed that the site updates around 8:00 AM, 10, 12, 2 PM, 6, and I think 8 and 10 PM as well (eastern time). I'm not sure if its the same every day, but if you really wanna be earlyish try those times. I myself don't care to be in the first few comments but I'll admit that being 200+ is lame if you wanna have a debate unless its a really active topic lol.

and you not being a girl would know that its difficult to ****** if you are one?

I understand that some people live the majority of their life in their parent's basement, but those of us that don't do things like communicate with our friends, often of *gasp* a different gender, learn through resources or relationships, etc. Sometimes we learn things about topics that may not be easy for us to learn about from these interactions. You should try it.

generalizing that its difficult for all girls to ****** is like saying that all girls like pink. how do you know that #8 has talked to a bunch of different girls about it. has he conducted a study that concluded that its hard for ALL girls to ******? has he found scientific research that proves this? bottom line, he doesnt know this.

Yeah.. I don't like girls who lie about this, especially if sexual compatibility is a big issue. Sometimes it just doesn't work out between a pair. Ask her what she needs or likes? Maybe you give it to her too hard or maybe you give it to her too soft? Or maybe you need to get more familiar with your tongue to her naughty bits ; )