Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
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Top comments
ddrluna 2
I don't understand why people even do that. Why not just be honest and try to work on it? Sorry about your luck.
jailbot 7
D: I feel your pain. It takes an impossible amount of work for me to have one, and even then, it's only been twice. I just wish my boyfriend didn't make me feel like something is wrong with me.
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Comments (266)
lexiBRo 0
Why do girls do that?!?! It is counterproductive to fake an ******. You are setting yourself up to be faking orgasms for a long time, an entire YEAR in the OPs gf's case. FYL If your g/f is old enough to have sex, she should be old enough to talk to you.
The_Truth84 0
If she fakes the ******, who's she hurting? You're still getting off, so you're satisfied, and she's making you think that she's satisfied too so you have no reason to do anything different. F *H* L, not FYL
girlygirl666 0
Hahaha Plexico
plexico 4
Get some control, you incompetent asshole! You probably come 45 seconds after you put it in her. Slow down or even stop when you think you are getting close to coming. In a couple of moments, the feeling will ease and then start pumping away again. If you can do it for 4 or 5 hours like me, then you should be able to make her have a real ******. Actually, most people think the optimal time span for sex is 7-13 minutes. If you do manage to gain some control and your girl still can't come, you might need to hire a closer.
jd0g07 0
suckaaaaa!! **** it as long as you get yours!! haha
markssh 0
4 to 5 hours is nuts. 10-30 minutes is great for me. This one girl said it was starting to hurt after 20 minutes (ex gf, but we still ****), so I hurried to finish.
plexico 4
If the four hours is: 2 minutes of *******. 10 minutes of her making me a sandwich and me eating it. 3 hours and 45 minutes of watching football on TV 2 more minutes of *******. I'm up 2 orgasms to zero, plus I saw a game! I was just kidding about the 4-5 hours just to psych the poor bastard OP out. It sounds like his girlfriend's LEAST favorite movie is that one about car theft: Done in 30 Seconds!
waterynuggets 0
I hope you were kidding if it takes you 10 mins to make a sandwich WTF! lol. There are lots of things people can do to build up to that moment but yes, I can fix me a motherfucking Dagwood sandwich in less than 10 mins and I love football, what an excellent day that sounds like
kitkatkelly 0
It's Gone in 60 Seconds, and you're not as clever as you think you are.
plexico 4
I am too as clever as I think I am. I knew it was "Gone" instead of "Done" and 60 seconds instead of 30, but lots of women are thrilled to get 60 WHOLE SECONDS of throbbing dick, right? And waterynugggets, the 10 minutes included EATING the sandwich, too. Also, you can't expect her to make the sandwich at full speed. She's quite delirious after the wild two minutes, plus she has to wipe up the wet spot (and wash her hands -- I know what real mayo tastes like, so don't try that on me.)
dacho 7
Try not to look at it as a bad thing, at least she loves you/has enough respect for you to admit you that. Now try working on it!
Ridyn 0
must suck to have a small dick. you fail.
jd0g07 0
I would have been like suckaaaaa!! haha as long as you get yours right!?!? haha
Dantheman26 0
You would know
robodoll 0
At least she told you. I think most women who fake probably don't tell their partner or we'd see more FMLs like this.
o_O_0_o 0
jajajaja apues bien. pobresito. mucha gente hace eso, no te preocupe.