Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrFuzzles 5
You did her so good... You knocked her unconscious AND gave her an ******. Kudos to you champion of the bedroom.
KitGrey 4
Anyone else disturbed that he apparently noticed she had fallen asleep kept going?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
pen_is_hole 1
I see what you did there.
auzz1_pride 9
I can also see what you're doing to that poor little immigrant in your profile picture.
ladyLALAA 29
I'd be a hater and say 1's comment was q waste if it weren't for number 2's because that actually made me lol. What the hell is going on there?
efemel94 7
Ah the classic wake and fake...
xoconnie 8
Dude, you need to improve.
Drigr 9
When will women realize that either A) men don't if the ****** so faking is pointless, or B) men are willing to work on getting them to ****** naturally and faking isn't doing EITHER of us a favor?
2PacMakaveli 0
But seriously, what is up woth your profile picture?
mattmadden 0
#1 I just noticed your name. I see what you did there.
AKGirlinSD 20
83- exactly! Real men want to make sure their woman is satisified, sexually. Unfortunately, we don't know if the original poster's wife was drunk or any other factors. But at least he acknowledges it as opposed to pretending it didn't happen.
ijayp 11
I like how #6 comment is only relevant until #1 changes his profile picture, then no one will get the comment at all.
Yellow_Fish79 11
*gold star* you tried.
putloginhere 6
A for effort :D
auzz1_pride 9
Thumbed down for stop trying. Now i'm gonna get thumbed down :/
GVirdi 11
Let's get thumbed down together :D
crimsonprodigy 15
I wanna be part of this too.
airforce987 20
First time I ever wanted to be thumbed down
zachherbert 10
Stop the madness!
MedKits 9
Oh, the humanity!
KiddNYC1O 22
Wow, this is when getting thumbed down is actually a good thing...
auzz1_pride 9
What a coincidence, I was getting thumbed up til gvirdi commented then it went to hell :(
auzz1_pride 9
Time to see if those genie pills work.
MrFuzzles 5
You did her so good... You knocked her unconscious AND gave her an ******. Kudos to you champion of the bedroom.
challan 19
Mr Fuzzies and I are in 100% agreement. If a man fell asleep on me during sex, it was because I'm the gold medalist of love making. The master of the bedroom universe. C'mon Op, give yourself props!
GVirdi 11
I like how your picture matches so good with your picture Mine just doesn't make sense But I wish I could be like OP when things get heated with me and my wife :c Oh wait.. Crap I forgot I'm single and 15
auzz1_pride 9
29) Then get your ass out there and sew some fields little man!
GVirdi 11
32 no thanks my friend already thinks I'm going to be the next Charlie sheen
Inheritance 10
If the situation was swapped, that the man feel asleep, my god watch the **** out! The wife will get beyond pissed!!
auzz1_pride 9
33) I'm confused, if you're going to be the next Charlie sheen then you have to go out and meet some ladies and have a terrible first sex, then you can post it on FML for us all too read^^
GVirdi 11
40 if you talked to my friend you would know what it's like to really be confused And it's 5am, I've been talking to her alot, I'm sorry to everyone for any confusion Dx
auzz1_pride 9
42) I just noticed all this time I though your picture was 2 penguins til i zoomed in on it and saw darth vader, false advertisement....
Inheritance 10
61- Are you really crying about someone's profile picture on FML? Kinda sad if you ask me.
auzz1_pride 9
76) what's your point? People comment about others profile/picture all the time an I don't see you getting up their ass at them so stfu and go back to what you were doing.
Inheritance 10
Well you're retarded for saying his profile pic was false advertisement. Just because you're blind and can't see doesn't mean it's false.
annetartica 6
Please. Just STFU.
annetartica 6
& then GTFO.
The_Tool1 13
Whoaa 88, we don't use the R word in this establishment.
Inheritance 10
Guess what, I did, and wtf are you going to do about it? :)
OhLohd111 11
Hey Mods, we got a "badass" over here...
fylx100 19
4- Your profile picture makes your comment even more funny. Lol
annemarte 4
Haha!
dude1122332 9
129 it's from a game called fallout.(: Play it!
TheDrudgeChild 4
162 - I'd assume they get the reference if they find it funny. Fallout isn't exactly unheard of.
klorehore 24
if your wife falls asleep during sex you're doing something wrong. Perhaps try some positions that requires a little more involvement on her part?
AsianCookie247 14
And you two need to have a talk about that subject &find out what she likes or prefers, do anything so it's enjoyable for the both of you and she'll actually be excited about being intimate with you.
Discombobulated9 12
Agreed. There definately needs to be more communication between OP and his wife; especially since she didn't seem so bothered about falling asleep. If I fell asleep on my man, I would be utterly mortified.
Spanik 10
Maybe she is genuinely exhausted? For OP's sake?
truth_spitta 0
Maybe OP has a small penis...? Just offering possibilities here folks.
HiIAmKevin 8
Nothing a few whips and chains can't fix. You gotta turn her ass on then leave her hanging. That's called teasing...after that she will be wanting it. Then you pull out the video camera and role playing. All set!
onlychildFTW 34
OP should lay on his back and they should do cowgirl.
b3llalooove 3
If she's anything like Rihanna then she'll love the whips and chains!
jaystreet46 4
I wouldn't stop either. Granted, I'm not bad enough to have a woman fall asleep during, but if she did, I'd still get mine!!
22cute 17
75 - penis size does NOT make you a good lover, ok? Most guys with big dicks think they've got it made & they don't need to learn any techniques -WRONG! And a small penis would not put your wife to sleep like boring technique will, I promise.
vicky_reoow 1
Talk to her and find out what she likes, perhaps you're not doing the right things to satisfy her and turn her on?
thelastavailable 13
Maybe falling asleep halfway through and waking up to a fake ****** IS her thing..?
KitGrey 4
Anyone else disturbed that he apparently noticed she had fallen asleep kept going?
hardehar 9
I never read it that way....I took it as she fell asleep, he stopped and when she woke up again started her fake ****** because she didn't realise she'd fallen asleep and he'd stopped? No? Just me thinking that way then?
ShyAnn29 15
15, I read it that way also.
DjeePee 25
"and when she woke up again started her fake ****** because she didn't realise she'd fallen asleep and he'd stopped?" I think you notice pretty soon that your partner isn't moving, even when you just woke up...
hardehar 9
True.....unless he's really bad lol
AliceLockehart 18
Maybe she starfishes it a lot so he couldn't tell the difference? Just a random thought.
mariah_victoria 0
Starfishes? WHAT the HELL is that supposed to mean?? xD
b3llalooove 3
Haha just lays there not moving^
KiddNYC1O 22
8 is a freak.
Me_You_Us 7
127- why would he be? Hes got a point
mrsmillsy 10
Lol, I didn't think of it that way at all... much more of an FML for the wife now.
KiddNYC1O 22
137- It was just my way of backing up #15.
TheAspieDork 27
Maybe he didn't notice for a while, or he stopped just as she was nodding off and she woke up and fake-moaned.
ladyLALAA 29
I know everyone's going to say "you're doing it wrong." However, clearly your wife needs to try a bit harder herself. If she fell asleep because she was that tired she should have just said no. I would be so upset if my man fell asleep on me!
auzz1_pride 9
Yea... If my woman ever fell asleep on me I'd be pretty ****** off, but hey everyone gets their shitty days, and this was obviously ops.
pdp_fml 21
Or maybe your wife was trying to satisfy you even though she was exhausted. She really loves you.
22cute 17
Exactly, Pdp. Some people can't be pleased. Falling asleep only happens when we need sleep (expt narcolepsy). And faking is something you do to please others. She loves you & wants you to be happy - and she needs some sleep.
cherrybitches 6
maybe the both of you can have a talk to see what each other is doing wrong or what's needed to have a happy sex life.
erika729 1
It happens, quit ur whining