By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 10:39 - Australia

Spicy
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 677
You deserved it 9 126

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

hjbeachbum 0

That's sad :(

RedPillSucks 31

ouch. Why do you feel the need to fake an orgasm in any situation? There are lots of guys out there who will listen to what needs to be done to satisfy you. Good luck.

Comments

hjbeachbum 0

That's sad :(

Not really. Most orgasms are faked and are just as enjoyable as "real" ones anyhow. Once you are comfortable enough with your own body to fake an O, you can learn to fake squirting, which is even more fun.

(edit: this was put under the wrong comment)

Sukismama 2

That might be infer of the sadest things I've ever heard. :(

Sukismama 2

*one

Poostool, not only is your "name" disgusting.. But you apparently can't read.. OP said she was masturbating, and faked an orgasm... In other words, she was lying to herself because she couldn't get herself to climax..

I'm pretty sure that stool understood the fml and was trying to be funny. Damn that is sad that you faked an orgasm on yourself. You must not be good if you can't even satisfy yourself.

enonymous 8

I hate when this happens. I usually jerk off with 2 2x4's and pretend Seamus from Family Guy is doing it. Works like a charm.

ikickgingers 15

I laughed out loud. :D I've Never faked an orgasm with myself... I just quit at that point and hang out with the captain. Solo and vanilla sometimes just don't cut it, but Mr Morgan never let's you down.

Poostool, wouldn't fake squirting be like... Well... urinating on yourself? O.o

ikickgingers 15

Can I push your stool in? o_O ... I mean your seat.... Fuck, the thing you're sitting on... Ifail

lol omg I've done that

Hey beachbum your pictures upside down

Xtra_Cheddar 3

So apparently beachbum's picture is upside down

hjbeachbum 0

I didn't notice. Thank you :)

It's sad you can't even get yourself. Practice makes perfect, but if you can't get yourself there how can anyone else?

aww fake it till we make it!

Marcella1016 31

I don't understand why so many people fake it. If the sex is bad don't let your partner *think* they're good. I've never faked an O in my life, I'd rather teach you to please me. You O fakers seem to be satisfied with crappy sex if you let your partner think they're doing a good job...

I'm with you on this 35, I'd much rather know when I'm doing something wrong so I can improve and my fiancée can enjoy the most awesome sex possible with me.

you fake it to boost their ego at first, and then they think they're good so then when you try to make them to do something you like they'll be confident and not think of it as a struggle. be like oh that feels good, but you know what feels the best... :) been there, done that ladies. try it out with your men

If you fake it, It's your own fault for having bad sex.

monnanon 13

They dont need that kind of ego boost. Luckily for us women foreplay can feel very good well before the orgasm. As long as you know that you are feeling good they will be happy but determined to get you up to the orgasm. There is never a need to fake it may boost their ego for a while but what if you are someone who never reaches an orgasm? Eventually they will know and feel worse.

Lol this FML is almost like that joke where 'ultimate rejection' is when you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

someone who never reaches orgasm? your life is fucked, not the OPs. maybe you should try harder

sparkles0103 4

you obviously need to get laid. please stop playing online and.go get some ass.

GrammarNaziFTW 0

Trololol capitalize the "Y" in "you", "P" in "please", and no period after "and".

that1guy1 13

Did you read the wrong FML? She said she was so disappointed with her sex life, most likely meaning her significant other sucks in bed. Therefore she already has someone she's "getting laid with."

im fattest

Um yr online too

flockz 19

im flockz.

I'm a pika-cat!

I'm stalking you.

Why would she get as its a female more like get some dick

Marcella1016 31

I'm confused.

RedPillSucks 31

ouch. Why do you feel the need to fake an orgasm in any situation? There are lots of guys out there who will listen to what needs to be done to satisfy you. Good luck.

sparklecherry 4

Good answer!

enonymous 8

Didn't know Mike Singletary posted on FML...

Agree with RPS. But keep in mind that those men can only listen if you speak up. Faking orgasms just makes things worse.

If she can't do it herself how does she expect her guy to do it?

and another thing, idk if anyone here has heard about mind orgasms, but "faking it" kinda puts you in that mindset and it turns you on more

When will girls understand that faking O's just dooms them.. Why not communicate and offer advice I would wanna know if I was performing bad..

suckstoobeyou 0

Resent study announced that 20% of women cant have an orgasm so it might not be ether of them.

I agree. As a woman, I find that faking only reinforces a guy to keep doing what he's doing because he thinks it gets you off. If you tell a guy what you like, he'll most likely do it. Sorry OP, but YDI.

tylersign 11

You need a man who knows what he's doing... *hint hint*

Yeah, you're all of 16 years old, macho man. And by the looks of your comment, you're REEAAL slick with the ladies.

omfgfmlife 0

kids are so quick to be mean on the internet :o.. maye he was *hint hinting* about her getting a better sex partner. he didnt insinuate he was talking about himself (although idk if he is...) why the rapid hate before you even talk to someone? :S

Prankster7o7 5

They're free now?! Wtf?!?

tylersign 11

Whoa, whoa. Children. 'Twas a joke. A bad joke, but a joke.

Look now he's trying to cover what he said

tylersign 11

Actually, 24, my midget sex slaves are housed in a warehouse... Where nobody will ever find them...

Just find urself a man or girl or both whatever makes u happy

At least your vibrator felt good a out itself.

dudeitsdanny 9

Invest in a good vibrator? Then you'll be able to at least please yourself =3 Maybe watch some good porn, not that alien stuff on HBO and Skinemax, though.

RedPillSucks 31

There's alien porn on HBO???? What time man??? What time??? And it better not be a Mexican, a Scott, and an Albanian.... (not again!)

#13. I literally fell off my seat laughing. well BBW is the closest to alien porn I've seen...

Awww, that's sad

scottgeo 0

If you cant make yourself orgasm how do you expect someone else to do it for you.