By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 839
You deserved it 5 698

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.


I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

dude a cup wont do u much good against a punch like ur dads must be awkward but HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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Nobody deserves being punched in the balls because your dad thinks you deserve it.

pwnage79 0

#67 wtf is wrong with you? "something that hasnt grown yet" every1 on this site is like 15+ and nobody deserves to be punched in the balls unless there a total douche with the op isnt OP do the same to him

Sessee 4

"every1 on this site is like 15+" That is where you are wrong, amigo.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I've been on some website where some idiot claimed his "250 lb ex-Marine dad" was going to punch him in the nuts to improve his reflexes.

well, if he hits there too often and too hard, his chances of becomin a "man" won't increase but decrease. Since "masculinity" (don't know how to write that xP) is mainly based on testosteron (which is produced in your balls), i'm pretty sure it will affect his adolesence in a bad way :P

Kiwi_Splash 0

I guess papa doesn't wanna have grandchildren :)

Aries327 0

tell your dad only fags willingly touch other dudes **** and balls

I just wanna post a reply to aries327. Congrats, worth a worthless and ignorant hate-monger. Get over your ****-phobia you redneck douche. Seriously, have fun contributing nothing worthwhile to society you backwards filthy piece of shit. Or would you like us to make you more comfortable and talk about the inferiority of other races?

@jamesleuth: calm down. what aries237 said was entirely corrrect. it IS true that only gay people willingly touch other men's genital areas (in most cases). don't get so heated up just because someone stated a fact.

Gay guys and doctors. While Jamesleuth's response wasn't the way I'd go about it he definitely has a point, Aries237's comment was insensitive, not because of what he said, but because it implies that "fags" are inferior and something nobody wants to be. Just because he only "stated a fact" doesn't mean he's not a narrow-minded prick.

VegasFML 0
i_heart_boobies 0
Laxer21 0

67 you deserved to be pinched in the crotch.

if he gets hit too many times he could get testicular cancer.

astarwarsfan 0
Link5794 18

Get a cup with blades or spikes on it.

deliapearl 0

those Marines! what a crazy sense of...BALL PUNCH!!

DoomJeff91 2

I see your BALL PUNCH and I retaliate with the POST-TRAMATIC STRESS DISORDER card! Marine use SHAFT SMASH now!

i see your post traumatic stress disorder card and retaliate with a years of therapy card!

kdubk93 0

i will see your years of therapy card and retaliate with my no children for the rest of your life card

there's no such thing as an ex-marine, unless you get kicked out.

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No, his father announced that he would start 'punching him in the crotch without warning' ..not announcing without warning. P:


for sure :P he sounds like he deserves it

Imawhalerider 0

or get neutered jokes on him. sorry thats real bad

or you could just punch your dad in the crouch when he's not expecting it.

try that on a marine and you'd probably lose your arm

yeah, even a marine can feel the pain when someone punches their balls. that doesnt matter... punch him back... hard you will have a chance to run away

mndz_mkl 0

LMAO!!!!!! Wear a cup!!!! Or punch him back!!! He's a Marine! He can take the pain! Or break your arm. Lol.

Never.. i mean ******* NEVER!! punch a vet xD they'll tear your asshole off

Yes cuz I'm sure breaking your arm will improve the pain. The whole "take pity on the cripple" theory is kinda 86'ed

This is like one of those math exam questions.. the 250 lbs is un needed information.

its somewhat needed, if he was a 140 lb ex-marine, the probability of him obliterating his sons ballsack would be a little bit lower lol

that is 250 lbs of muscle and momentum to propel full force in ball punching action

if his dad's going to be throwing his whole body weight into the punch then it's not going to require fantastic reflexes to get out of the way...

skiz_fml 0

250 lbs of testicular crushing action!

unless hes an EX-marine because hes incredibly obese.

ya if you telegraph the shit out of it, but if you know how to punch it will

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I'd love to see how great your reflexes would be in this situation.

cake4lyfe 0
b5200 0

When your balls are on the line your reflexes should be at least 5 times faster than normal.

nolasaints 0
Imawhalerider 0

does he want grandchildren?

Awesome question. OP can ask this to his father.

Not if he's crying on the floor in the fetal position with his thumb in his mouth