By Anonymous - United States - Gainesville Today, I'm so sick, I'm even sick in my dreams. Orientation for my new job starts tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 1407 You deserved it 95 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By driver - New Zealand Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML I agree, your life sucks 40474 You deserved it 2629 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jules Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML I agree, your life sucks 3269 You deserved it 266 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarassedmuch - United States Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML I agree, your life sucks 7692 You deserved it 27609 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ripo95 - France Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML I agree, your life sucks 21725 You deserved it 46443 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kingpin7 - United States Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML I agree, your life sucks 44218 You deserved it 10184 290 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By umm...no - United States - Keller Today, I answered a call from a customer. She expected me to exchange her item without her actually having to go to one of our 800+ stores. FML I agree, your life sucks 9811 You deserved it 734 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notnerb - New Zealand Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 68728 You deserved it 8549 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By c.m.g. Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML I agree, your life sucks 37049 You deserved it 3817 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shoutoutloud2him - United States Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 27886 You deserved it 2608 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By future teacher - Paraguay - Fernando De La Mora Today, I was observing a children's class as a part of a training program. The teacher asked me to take one kid to the nurse's office because she wasn't feeling well. As soon as we step outside, I slip and fall down, taking the little girl with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26159 You deserved it 2933 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kissandcontrol01 - United States - Hanford Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML I agree, your life sucks 22502 You deserved it 4111 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poisonhand - United States Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML I agree, your life sucks 26674 You deserved it 2793 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years thinks my chemotherapy sessions are the perfect opportunity to sleep with other girls. FML I agree, your life sucks 7261 You deserved it 285 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Robyn - Ireland Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML I agree, your life sucks 12578 You deserved it 27903 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angry and Confused - United States - Reno Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML I agree, your life sucks 53005 You deserved it 2942 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel Miscommunication Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 481 You deserved it 950 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 38913 You deserved it 5969 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 919191 - New Zealand - Christchurch Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 40331 You deserved it 6555 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML I agree, your life sucks 53679 You deserved it 21190 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YouSoSmelly - United States - Kannapolis Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 55355 You deserved it 12004 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just keep the pins - Sweden - Floda Today, it's been 2 months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 7987 You deserved it 837 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. - Sweden - Sundbyberg Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 51677 You deserved it 5355 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Clevedon Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML I agree, your life sucks 26162 You deserved it 2738 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jenjam Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML I agree, your life sucks 29028 You deserved it 5745 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idk - United Arab Emirates - Dubai Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML I agree, your life sucks 25909 You deserved it 2774 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By forever_young - United States - Rochester Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML I agree, your life sucks 13856 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1788 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minime94 - United States - Sunset Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML I agree, your life sucks 31769 You deserved it 2487 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bb - United States - Hillsborough Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML I agree, your life sucks 22718 You deserved it 1589 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/2/2020 01:00 - Canada - Toronto Just a dream Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML I agree, your life sucks 1777 You deserved it 195 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML I agree, your life sucks 25151 You deserved it 2352 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yellowjacket_34 - United States Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML I agree, your life sucks 12760 You deserved it 54323 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cxcrktkt - United States Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML I agree, your life sucks 68578 You deserved it 12858 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hover Hand - United States - Merchantville Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML I agree, your life sucks 9114 You deserved it 22875 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML I agree, your life sucks 38924 You deserved it 7024 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By isuckatparking. seriously. Today, I was in a hurry to get to my exams. I’m a new driver so my parking was a little crooked but I didn’t have time to fix it. I was expecting to come back to a note on my car. I wasn’t expecting three of my tires to be slashed and the words “I Suck At Parking” to be keyed into my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 2752 You deserved it 995 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kiki - United States Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML I agree, your life sucks 41730 You deserved it 12581 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kdehshaden - United States Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 8591 You deserved it 56262 256 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tireddddddd - United States Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 38461 You deserved it 3417 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RohnAbheek - India Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML I agree, your life sucks 15142 You deserved it 47073 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Drewbie - United States - Park City Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML I agree, your life sucks 52653 You deserved it 8767 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kyle Reagan | 11 #7818480 - Friday 5 July 2019 19:29 Better the orientation than the interview Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Kyle Reagan | 11 #7818480 - Friday 5 July 2019 19:29 Better the orientation than the interview Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 9 1 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 355 You deserved it 266 5 Comments