Money: Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 480

You deserved it 9 169

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Poker face at all times

By loss.jpg - 21/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 317

By bad son - 14/06/2012 17:42 - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 162

You deserved it 29 685

By SwingingChili - 27/10/2015 05:49

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident he'll win every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 680

You deserved it 4 661

By steveinnewsoh - 18/01/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 2 970

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 860

You deserved it 3 482

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 409

You deserved it 6 097

Idiot tax

By Dumbass - 16/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 351

You deserved it 6 846

By MadSon - 11/10/2009 02:59 - United States

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 066

You deserved it 4 120

A Dog's Love = Priceless

By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 405

You deserved it 670

Next

Top comments

howdidithappen 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:19

haha. Funny guy

imnutsss 0

Friday 14 May 2010 13:45

uh you had it correct the first time honey..

Comments

Sue21 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:25

Expensive sandwich

STN_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:27

lol...and yay first

TuddaTM 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:27

first, and haha ur dads awesome

unibrowicorn 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:28

i love your dad.

STN_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:28

lol...and yay first

goode48 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:30

my dad would do something like that

lifeislife_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:30

Ouch!

TouchDown_fml 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:31

Your dad is made of 100% pure win.

sarahvalasco 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:40

wow that must of sucked

howdidithappen 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 22:19

haha. Funny guy

alexomAnexo 0

Friday 5 March 2010 4:26

What's the problem your family just gained a sandwich:)

kennyFTW3fiddy 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 2:37

ya dad is a beasttt

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Today, I've been caffeine-free for 2 weeks. It's turned me into a constipated angry bitch. FML

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Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

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Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 503

You deserved it 3 268

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

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You deserved it 6 998

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 451

You deserved it 665

Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 420